i met the devil once

floyd suffers not only from ptsd but from complex ptsd or c-ptsd - a subtype of ptsd which shows up in cases of elongated trauma over a period of years - often , and in this case , in childhood . he was diagnosed with ptsd ( but not c-ptsd) by the therapist on call at belle reve , though he refused to do anything about it .

   i. safety seeking mechanisms

       people who grow up in unstable environments and go through the stress of unexpected and violent situations often become attached to things they believe they can protect them , in addition to having paranoid behaviors . smoking makes floyd feel safe because he is in control of what he's doing and his body . guns make him feel safer because they mean that he has a means to defend himself and fight back against people who would hurt him and the people he cares about .

   ii. violent flashbacks

      emotional flashbacks are a type of flashback common in c-ptsd - where the person suffering from it , typically without realizing it , will , when triggered , regress to the emotional state they were in at the time the trauma happened to them . floyd becomes violent when people trigger him by bringing up his own fatherhood in relation to his son , edward , because he was violent when edward was kidnapped .

   iii. emotional repression & dissociation

      floyd copes with his emotions - many of which are negative - by repressing them , pushing them down as deep inside of himself as he can , and doing his best to numb them with things like alcohol . floyd often doesn't feel quite really in his body , and is detached from it , which makes it easier to let himself get hurt and to hurt himself .

   iv. fight/freeze coping dichotomy        people with c-ptsd often have one or two main methods they use to cope with their trauma . floyd , when triggered , defaults to fight and freeze . he becomes aggressive , fighting back , becoming irritable and angry and taking it out on people around him . the fight reflex sometimes shows itself in homicidal impulses and violent intrusive thoughts . he also freezes , coping by dissociation and repression , often using alcohol to numb himself . the emotional repression and dissociation symptoms become more intense when he's triggered.

   v. suicidal impulses and actions

   floyd is suicidal - primarily passively ; he does aggressive and reckless things that he expects to get himself killed . he says that he doesn’t care if he dies or not , and has had a reckless disregard for his own life for years - since he was a teenager .

floyd experience multiple types of trauma which caused this reaction in him , all of which affect him to this day .

   i. childhood physical and emotional abuse       floyd's father beat him and his brother as 'punishment' ; often , eddie took the beatings in floyd's place .

       i. normalization of violence

      the severe violence that floyd grew up with as a child - once or twice culminating in broken bones - and , later , the death of eddie i , brought death and violence into his life at a young age . he sees it as a ‘normal’ , almost , experience , one that’s to be expected from the world and his life . it numbed him , gave him the knowledge of the world as a violent place and his own place in it as a violent person .

       ii. startle reflex

      floyd’s startle reflexes - and one of his triggers - is getting startled from behind or having his wrists grabbed . he gets violent , and has trouble being close physically to people that aren’t people he trusts the most .

       iii. emotional incompetence

       floyd never got good role models when it came to interaction . his relationships are often dysfunctional because he just doesn’t figure how to treat people , and though he learns more as he goes on , his young self is particularly dysfunctional and his romantic relationships are often tense .

   ii. childhood sexual abuse        floyd was sexually abused by his mother at various points in adolescence ; and witnessed his mother sexually abusing his brother / was aware of it happening . by the time he was thirteen , he'd blocked it out , and still does not remember (a condition called dissociative amnesia) - though he sometimes gets mini-memories that come up and he pushes all the way back down . the trauma still remains , though slightly blunted . floyd's main triggers are mentions of sexual abuse , being emotionally manipulated , and very ornate rugs in a parisian style .

       i. hypersexuality/hyposexuality         floyd oscillates between being hypersexual (very sexual) and being hyposexual (sex-repulsed) . he dislikes the emotional commitment that comes with relationships , but often solicits escorts when he wants to have sex . he's primarily hyposexual , and often becomes hypersexual when he's in a situation where he's triggered .

       ii. distrust of women         floyd distrusts women , and often believes that they are out to get something from him , or manipulating him behind the scenes . he associates women getting emotional with being emotionally manipulated ; this is where some of his misogyny stems from .

       iii. obsession with abuser(s)        floyd is fixated on his parents and what they did to him . he blames both of them , to some degree , for eddie's death - but mostly his mother . he sometimes insists he was "born an orphan" or "had no parents" - and took a very specific , thought out revenge on his mother for all she had done to him .

   iii. eddie's death       floyd shot his brother on accident when his brother attempted to kill his father at his mother's behest ; he meant to shoot the gun out of his brother's hand , but missed , and hit him in the head instead . this could easily be called the most formative moment of floyd's life . he remembers the moment when he pulled the trigger and seeing the gun go through eddie's head , but he did not remember what lead up to the incident for about five years ( until he was nineteen or twenty ) .

       i. traumatic fixation        floyd was adept with guns before the incident , but afterwards became even more obsessed with them . he trained as much as he could , until it took up almost all of his waking moments , determined to never miss again .

       ii. nightmares        floyd has nightmares about his parents , about eddie , about the day that eddie died , and also occasionally about batman . he usually wakes up and drinks to forget them .

       iii. recreation and habitual retraumatization        the route of an assassin seemed natural for floyd . every time he pulls the trigger , it's like he's reliving that first moment - hoping it might turn out different . it doesn't , of course , because he never misses . he gets himself back around into these self triggering situations over and over , and almost dissociates every time he shoots - despite feeling a thrill for danger and excitement .

   iv.  eddie ii's death

    eddie the ii , son of floyd’s divorced wife , is kidnapped by people who want to get to him . floyd goes on a rampage to get him back instead of cooperating , leaving bodies in his wake . he gets there too late , and eddie ii is molested and murdered by a pedophile .

      i. retraumatization

      the situation activated floyd’s own trauma and reminded him of his traumatic childhood ; this was part of the reason he reacted so violently and refused to cooperate . it made the trauma from the event that much more intense , and made him very afraid for the people close to him .

      ii. emotional distance