しずえ

(bro)

{BROE, we are tens?}

"If you promise not to kill me, we can do friend things I guess. What the hell do friends even do?"

"You don’t know what friends do?" Isabelle tilted her head to the side. "Well, I’ll tell you! Friends hang out with each other and do fun things together, like play sports, eat food, make things together or just sit down and chat! They do all sorts of things!"

"That sounds horrible, and expensive. But, mainly expensive," he moped.

"It's not horrible though! If you'd like, I could pay! Everything's really cheap where I'm from, and being the mayor's secretary has a surprisingly large amount of pay!"

"If you promise not to kill me, we can do friend things I guess. What the hell do friends even do?"

"You don't know what friends do?" Isabelle tilted her head to the side. "Well, I'll tell you! Friends hang out with each other and do fun things together, like play sports, eat food, make things together or just sit down and chat! They do all sorts of things!"

Thankfully, Wario was only able to run 15 feet before having to stop to catch his breath. “Okay, you win, you small cartoon animal. I will form an alliance with you,” he said, trying to hype up his image. “But seriously, I have to talk to snake about that. That’s terrible, and I’m kind of a jerk.”

"An alliance? That sounds exciting!" Isabelle clapped her hands together and stared at Wario with wide eyes. "What kind of alliance?"

While that might have been cute and endearing in another context, Wario was scared for his life and was 50% sure that Isabelle was going to rob him at some point. He threw 50 dollars in monopoly money on the ground and ran through the nearest wall. Wario was not safe.

"Wait, mister! Come back!" Isabelle picked up the fake money and chased after Wario to try and talk to him again. All this small dog wanted from him was a friend, not an enemy. Or another person scared of her for some inexplicable reason.

"Okay seriously who thought this was a good idea? I will pay you 50 warioland funbucks never to shoot a gun so close to my gorgeous body ever again," he negotiated, keeping his distance from the terrifying puppy in a fashionable dress.

"I'm sorry about that, mister!" Isabelle cried. "The gun's away now, and I promise I won't use it anymore! I'd pinkie-promise, but all I have are paws."

Wario was convinced that was both illegal and immoral, and he was the guy trying to scam a small anime dog. “Okay listen, what made you think that was even okay to accept? Did he even tell you how to use that?”

Isabelle pulled the safety off and fired a shot towards the wall. "Yep! It helps scare off bullies!" She then put the safety back on and put it back into her pockets. 

"He refuses to give hard working people like me money!" he said, more or less in Snake’s general direction. "Seriously, why would you trust a guy named SNAKE who wears camouflage all the time." 

"Oh, I’m sorry about that, mister… but trust me, Mr. Snake’s awfully nice! He taught me how to fight off bullies!" Isabelle smiled innocently at Wario.

"But, you have tiny dog paws. Luckily for you, there are plenty of heroic figures who will be willing to protect you," he said. "For a cost," he whispered.

"That's okay,mister! Mr. Snake gave me this!" Reaching into the void that is her pockets, she pulled out a gun. "Thank you for offering though!"

"He refuses to give hard working people like me money!" he said, more or less in Snake’s general direction. "Seriously, why would you trust a guy named SNAKE who wears camouflage all the time." 

"Oh, I'm sorry about that, mister... but trust me, Mr. Snake's awfully nice! He taught me how to fight off bullies!" Isabelle smiled innocently at Wario.

Wario glared at the old man. “You’re on my list,” he said, writing Snake’s name on a used napkin.

"Sir, is that a napkin?" Isabelle tugged slightly on Wario’s overalls.

Wario was slightly alarmed that a small dog was talking to him. “No, this is a list of old men I will destroy,” he said showing her the list. “Snake, Toadsworth, and whoever this ‘economy’ person is.”

Isabelle read over the list again and stomped her foot a little. "Why Mr. Snake? He's nice!" 

Wario glared at the old man. “You’re on my list,” he said, writing Snake’s name on a used napkin.

"Sir, is that a napkin?" Isabelle tugged slightly on Wario's overalls.