Let there be filth

This blog is text-only, queue-only and will only feature my own words; I will not be reblogging other user’s posts, or publicly sharing pictures or gifs of others or myself. On previous blogs interest has been expressed in having audio ‘readings’ of my writing; I’m still considering that.

Generally, I don’t consider it my responsibility to be transparent about my personal life or my actual beliefs, but I will post an updated answer I gave to an anonymous question on the topic, from a previous iteration of this blog (both under the cut):

Just when you think you’ve done it, you find another way to put more pink into your life.

It starts in the morning, when you wake up. Before you check socials, before you check the news or the weather - edge, like a good girl should. 

Because, really - you don’t need to check the weather, you’re going to dress to put yourself on display, regardless of the cold. As for the news - don’t be silly, a girl like you wouldn’t really understand it anyway. Checking your socials is important - but it feels so much better to watch your besties’ stories and reels while you rub, doesn’t it? 

Now that you’ve had your edge, you’re ready to get up and get ready for the day. Which means it’s time to shower - and, of course, time to tease yourself more! - but don’t get too distracted or you’ll end up grinding into your palm, all day…again.

All that’s easy, though. Now the tricky part - after you finish getting ready (and edge a little), and finish getting dressed (and rub a little), and finish getting makeup on (and grind a little), you still need to keep your brain in a pink haze while you go about your day.

But fortunately, that’s easy!

We talked before about trying to use small words, and using dumber words, all so that no one mistakes you for a girl who has any brains at all. We’ve talked about using your girlwords, and other ways to advertise that you do best when things are mansplained and dumbed-down for you. Don’t be afraid to act your IQ, whether that’s a 32B or a 38GG, and remember to giggle whenever you don’t understand something.

But all of that requires that you focus - and that’s not what edged-out bimbos do best. So let’s talk about what you can do to fill your brain with pink, without having to think about it!

Find a few simple and innocent and girly things - like applying lipgloss, mindlessly checking your phone, giggling at nothing  - and make it a pink routine. Make it a part of every routine you have that makes you pink; every time you edge, if you need a break, play through your pink routine; when you have a blonde moment and your brain feels empty, play through your pink routine. Whenever you spend an extra long time on your makeup, whenever you get a new pair of heels, play through your pink routine. If you stay consistent about doing that over and over, your pink routine will help keep you in the right mindset, whenever you do it!

I went back and forth about answering this in-kink or out-of-kink - there’s a lot here to unpack, and it’s clear you’re having a tough time reconciling it - and I settled on just giving a genuine answer that blends a little of both.

Realistically, I think your problem isn’t the losing yourself, or with being renamed ‘porn’, or with being a toy, or not being a ‘good girl’  - you mention all those things, yes, but they don’t sound like the core of the issue, and I think that you’re probably fine with those things in and of themselves.

As to the question it sounds like you’re really asking, this is one of those good news/bad news scenarios - because it sounds like what you’re really missing is a feeling of being cared about and loved.

The bad news is that you’re using the other things to mask those needs, or to try and fulfill them. You’re being a toy for people to use because it makes you feel less alone, and more needed; you’re doing whatever they ask because being compliant feels like being cared about, or like it might lead to that. Letting people destroy your identity might mean that they’ll like whatever they leave; being their porn means that they like your body and maybe they’ll like you, too.

The really bad news? The way you’re going about it won’t fulfill those needs, it never does.

The good news is that those things don’t exclude you from being loved and cared about. Being renamed and treated like porn is compatible with being seen and treasured. Being used as a fuckdoll and a sextoy is compatible with being held and cared for. Being reconditioned into a different identity is compatible with being understood and deeply loved for who you are. 

The difference is the method, and where you’re looking for what you want. Right now, you’re using what you’re doing (being used for porn, dehumanized, treated like a fleshlight) to try and create something else (being cared about and loved) - but doesn’t sound like there’s any  indication that the other people involved want to give that to you. They’re happy using you for porn, and entertainment, and as a toy, but they don’t want to hold you and care for you afterwards - and you keep doing what you’re told, hoping it’ll just magically happen.

Here’s the best news, though - I think I know what you really need, and it’s fairly simple.

You need to be owned. You need to give all of what you’re giving everyone - the compliance, the access to your body, your identity - to one singular person, with the understanding that in exchange they will take care of you, and care about you, and love you. That understanding, that contract of attraction and submission and care, is what you’re missing and what you’re looking for in the wrong place - because it doesn’t sound like being a toy, being porn, or being rewritten is what really is bothering you, it sounds like being at the whim and mercy of people who don’t care about you in return is; so go find someone that wants what you’re offering, and is offering what you want. 

Here’s more good news - while there are a metric fuckton of people online here that are either piss-poor at being doms, or are implicitly or explicitly exploitative or abusive, tumblr also has a population of people who are looking for and willing to give you exactly what you want - a role you belong in, and someone you belong to, who will genuinely care for and about you.

It’d be buzzing away while on low I explain that it’s good for her because it’s teaching her to love her asshole as much as her desperate pussy. 

It’d be buzzing away while on low I explain that it’s good for her because the overstimulation keeps her incoherent and unable to think at all.

It’d be buzzing away on low while I explain that it’s good for her because it reminds her that pleasure can be just as effective as pain to control her.

i can't stop thinking about it! what a dream. though i don't like the idea of swallowing anyone's piss... i don't think i'd be able to take that as well as her at all

That’s an interesting idea. 

Since it was such a success, let’s keep adding more pink - until it’s the only way you think.

Some girls want to know how they can help pink make them better. The first piece of advice is to give in to it! Turn off spellcheck and don’t correct any mistakes you make, use hearts and emojis more often, refer to yourself in the third person, smile and giggle when you don’t understand what’s going on. 

Another piece of advice is to use your girlwords in everyday conversations. Now, obviously words like edge, rub, and hump have mostly come up around your besties; but words like uhhhh, like, and dunno are also great! Using them in everyday conversation helps fill in the gaps when you’re confused, when you can’t think of a word, or just when you’ve got pink on the brain.

For girls looking to really let the pink take over, there’s a little more to do, but that’s okay! Before you know it, you’ll get into a routine that’ll get you the pinkest mind possible! A way to start doing that is to forget trying to use big and complex words - no writing out numbers, no words with 10 or more letters, and no more than 3 syllables (that’s how many times your mouth moves when you say a word)! Instead, use simple words that are small and easy to use, and use your girlwords whenever possible; you might have to stop and try to think through your sentences before you talk, but that just makes you seem dumber! 

Some girls trying to get the pinkest mind they can go even further; they won’t use capital letters about anything other than Men, because typing in small letters are so much easier for small brains and because they’re really all just objects anyway. Those girls are the kind of bimbo that replace the word ‘okay’ with okie dokie because it sounds even dumber, the kind that say uh-huh instead of ‘yes’ and uh-uh for ‘no’. Replacing ‘definitely’ with def, ‘very’ with supes, ‘totally’ with totes, are easy ways to make it clear to everyone you talk to that all you have in your head is pink.

like i like it rough and i like a lot of kinky stuff but hearing or reading that just makes me sad

idk why im telling you this cause im sure the response will be that this isnt the blog for me but idk it just makes me feel uneasy even though i like a lot of your writing

I think you might be surprised. 

The real answer here is that there’s an incredible intimacy that comes from things that might seem borderline abusive, and that isn’t always captured perfectly. 

Using a girl as a punching bag seems insane, on the face of it - but that’s not all that it’s about. It’s also about stringing her up by the wrists so she’s barely able to stand, pulling her shirt up and her panties down, restraining and exposing her. It’s also about the moment where I step back and appreciate her struggling, and her helplessness, and her vulnerability, and seeing the fear and adoration and trust mixed together in her eyes. It’s also about giving out the first few love taps and stifling the gasps with kisses, mixing the brutality with tenderness.  It’s also about creating tears just to dry them with a kiss, creating fear and replacing it with comfort, taking feelings of worthlessness and insignificance and giving them an outlet. It’s also about the bruises that last days, the way in which her submission is painted on her body like a canvas, and the knowledge that the wincing soreness will remind her of how she took that violence and transformed it into a passionate intimacy.

So ultimately, I won’t tell you that this blog isn’t for you - instead, I will encourage you to think of the rougher things in their tender contexts.

Why don’t we keep adding more pink to how you think?

Changing your brain can seem overwhelming at first, but the more you let the pink do it for you, the easier it gets!

It starts with words like edge, rub, and hump - those words start to jump out at you naturally after you’ve spent enough time scrolling, don’t they? You know exactly what seeing those words does to you - you don’t even need to read them, really, not when they’re pink. 

Every time you see someone talking about edging until they couldn’t think, your cunt starts to drip; every time you see someone talk about how addicted they are to rubbing and grinding, it makes you even more horny; every time you see someone desperately humping away, it makes your clit feel even more needy.

See how easy that was? When pink is how you think, you only have to read your girl words - the rest barely matters! 

Keep it up! You’ll know you’re being a good girl when your eyes start to skip everything that isn’t pink, when your attention goes from the ache of your own desperate holes to daydreaming about being held down and used like a cocksleeve in the blink of an eye. You can go from giggling and looking at pretty outfits to being a distracted and drippy mess because a man walked by; of course, you start thinking about how you’d worship his cock, how he’d fuck your throat, how you’d thank him by eating his ass. Before you know it, you’re edging again, only stopping to deny yourself - after all, good girls need permission -  and then it’s back to trying to shop. 

Of course, shopping for cute clothes that show your body off will keep you thinking about how you can be eye candy, and that’s of course going to lead to you fantasizing more. It’s okay, in fact it’s only natural!

Hmm. An interesting but not entirely correct observation; I think you’re fundamentally misunderstanding what you’re asserting.

Full answer under the cut.