this is not the blog you should be on

Is this anything? Idk. I can’t stop thinking about it though.

Perhaps this calls for an impromptu Cali Challenge? If you’re game, that is.

Pick your poison, COD authors, and help out your poor, feral Cali Cat:

John Price wants to watch…

Simon Riley wants to watch…

Kyle Garrick wants to watch…

Johnny MacTavish wants to watch…

The community is great and all but some of y’all are unhinged… 😅

Bruce: so... Damian, do you remember the Oreov girl you met at the gala last week?

Damian: *looks up* yes

Bruce: what do you think of her...?

Dick: *tries not to laugh*

Tim: *fails not to laugh*

Steph: *doesn't even try not to laugh*

Damian: she was... acceptable, if a bit annoying, why do you ask?

Tim: He's trying to set you up!

Batkids -Damian: *laughs*

Damian: *stares blankly*

Bruce: of course, you don't hav-

Damian: father, are you unaware that I'm in a committed relationship?

Duke, Tim and Dick: *choke on their food*

Steph: *chokes on her drink*

Cass: *smiles*

Batkids: WHAT?!

Bruce: ... I-....

Jason: *laughs so hard he almost falls from his chair* oh Jesus Christ! The world's best detectives at their finest!

Dick: you knew? And you didn't tell me?!

Jason: where the fuck do you think he went almost every fucking friday?

Bruce: *turns to Damian* I- I though you were having sleepover with Jon

Damian: I was.

Dick: but you just-

Batfam: *stops all their movememnt as they realize*

Jason: *actually falls from his chair laughing*

Bruce: JONATHAN SAMUEL KENT!

-over at the Kent farm, also having family dinner-

Jon, who heard Bruce shout his name: I feel like I'm going to get murdered by a bat in my sleep

Clark, who was also listening in: right after you explain why I had to find out you're dating Damian throught their family dinner

I'm a john price girlie but this works with all of them.

Who am I to deny a John price girlie? God knows you could use a win in your life. And an older man to express approval for you while telling you he’ll never leave. (This is JOKES I am also a John price girlie)

So. cw: somno/free use but I totally believe that when you’re in a relationship with John and living with him? That’s consent, babyyy. Maybe you have a bracelet you can take off for when you’re really not in the fucking mood, but otherwise? He doesn’t care what you’re doing. He’s getting in there whenever and wherever he wants.

And this especially goes for when you’re all drowsy and nodding off when he’s around. Doesn’t matter if it’s on the couch or in bed— he’s pulling you into his hold so he can grind against you, pushing your clothes aside so he can use your bare cunt to get himself off.

God knows he’s doing it constantly when you go to bed. And it’s conditioned him— he’s so used to waking up hard and having you accessible. When he feels sweet he’ll be gentle, try his best to preserve your beauty sleep, the only evidence that anything even happened will be the sticky load dripping out from your pussy when you get up. But sometimes he feels a little more hungry for it— so he’ll just manhandle you however he likes, probably get you prone under him while he fucks you hard and kneads at your ass cheeks.

And sometimes, you’re the one who gets cute about it. If you wake up early you might push your ass against him, or he’ll blink awake to see you under the covers, swirling your tongue around his tip before lazily sucking it into your mouth, spit mixed with his pre trailing down his shaft.

So when he wakes up on deployment after a long leave? He’s not a happy camper. Ask the rest of the team— they notice the way he scowls after he’s worked up, feeling the edges of whatever shitty cot is his current bed, and not finding a soft, warm little body for him to shove his leaking dick into.

LIEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS

I WANT THAT MAN OBSESSED WITH ME

I WANT HIM THINKING ABOUT ME LIKE A PRAYER, EVERY BREATH, EVERY MOVE, EVERY CHOICE HE MAKES ANCHORED TO ME. I WANT HIM LOSING SLEEP BECAUSE THE IDEA OF ME IS TOO LOUD IN HIS HEAD TO LET HIM REST. I WANT HIM TO LOOK AT ME LIKE I’M THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS—LIKE THE WORLD COULD BURN TO ASHES AROUND US AND HE WOULDN’T CARE AS LONG AS I’M STILL STANDING THERE.

I WANT HIM TO SPEAK MY NAME LIKE IT’S SACRED, TO LOOK AT ME LIKE I HOLD THE UNIVERSE IN MY HANDS. TO BE HAUNTED BY THE SOUND OF MY LAUGH, THE TRACE OF MY SCENT ON HIS SKIN, THE MEMORY OF MY TOUCH. I WANT HIS OBSESSION TO BORDER ON MADNESS, TO FEEL ME IN EVERY PART OF HIM LIKE A HUNGER HE CAN’T EVER SATISFY.

I WANT TO BE HIS FIRST THOUGHT

and Johnny delightfully kneels down to his son’s level to pretend to eat him, and it triggers the hyperactivity only a toddler can possess.

He loves sinking his fingers into your plush waist, burying his face into your tummy on lazy days, and quite literally picking you up whenever he can to show anyone watching that he's not afraid of a little weight, what else was all that training for?

I’m gnashing my teeth like a child of Cain

(Really Late) Happy New Year!