Something it took me longer than it should have to fully internalize is that when someone accuses you of something that not only isn’t true but didn’t even come close to crossing your mind ( something SO foreign to how you operate that you have to genuinely pause and think about where they even got the idea) that accusation is almost never actually about you, it’s a confession dressed up as an accusation. People can only relate to others through the lens of their own experiences, their own impulses, their own moral framework and when someone projects something onto you with that certainty and conviction it is because on some level they know exactly what they are describing. They have done it, they would do it, they thought about doing it, or they are currently doing it and they need to believe you are doing it too.
The same principle applies to gossip and I find this one almost more revealing because people are so much less guarded about it. When someone is consistently, unprovoked, talking about another person and really going in on a specific trait or behavior with a level of energy that seems disproportionate to their stated indifference whatever they keep circling back to is almost always their own deepest insecurity wearing a costume. The person who cannot stop talking about how desperate someone else is for attention is the person who is quietly dying for attention themselves and cannot stand watching someone else receive it without apology. The person who fixates endlessly on someone’s intelligence, or money, or relationships, or body, or opportunities that fixation is a map directly to what they want most. Listen to what people say about others when they think they are just venting and you will learn everything you need to know about who they actually are and what they are actually carrying around.
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germansingergirl
izzy806
gummygunk
