"erasing my 300 years with you..'
pairing: The Kabukimono/Kunikuzushi/Scaramouche/Wanderer x Reader
synopsis: In which, you, his lover of 300 years, begs to have your branch in Irminsul erased. This was followed after his own erasure and restoration in your mind. He then reminisces on his years with you, where you had loved each and every version of him over the course of those centuries.
warnings: Implications of depression and suicide. Mentions of murder, massacres, human experiments, and mutilation. also one photo from the visual aids might be considered a jumpscare.
authorโs note: this is my first fic and i'm quite nervous. so if you can, please enjoy this scenario I've had on my mind forever. if it isn't a hassle, the music is what i believed suited the vibe of each segment of the story, thank you!
masterlist my introduction!
"erase me as you did for yourself..."
He stared at you with disbelief. Did he hear that right? Surely you were jesting; you did joke around. You would say the most absurd of words and laugh without a care in the world. Though that was the thing, you did care. People always said that the loudest of people were the loneliest of all. He knew that much, after all, he did spend centuries with you, with that, he knew you better than anyone.
So why didnโt he see this coming? This is exactly what families and friends say upon the death of their loved ones. It was always stated that whoever had passed was such a joyous person; what would possess them to do such a thing?
So here he was, staring at you in shock. After all, you were one of the few people able to do so, in fact, the first. One of the many reasons he loved you.
โWhat did you say..?โ His face contorted into shock from your words, disbelief from the implication, and anger from the betrayal.
โYou are neither deaf nor stupid, you heard me.โ Those words struck; it was a sign of how well you knew him. Every phrase, reply, or insult. You knew it all. To simply erase everything? How could you do such a thing?
โIโm not, but you definitely are. Erase yourself? What the fuck are you talking about?โ He snaps back at you. You stopped being afraid of his glare long ago. Each time he did, you would be the angel that balanced his demonic attitude. Though you glared at him back, he never saw such anger in you. Of course, bickering, arguments, and fights occurred. How could it not after more than 300 years together? But this was new, or at least he thought it was.
โI told you to erase me like how you did to yourself. Erase me from Irminsul.โ
โWhy? Why the hell- why the fuck would you ask for that?โ
โWhy not? You did it. You erased yourself from the whole world! Had it not been for the Traveler and Lesser Lord Kusanali, I would have forgotten you, too.โ
โThatโs different!โ He argued, trying to defend himself, but honestly? It hurt. After all the arguments, the talks from our hearts, he still didnโt let go of his pride.
โHow is it any different? Tell me! How is it any different?!โ Yelling came from the voice that was once so sweet. A voice now tainted with hurt and anguish.
โBecause I was a coward! You know me, youโve known me for so long! My sins and what Iโve done. Everything that I did, everyone that I knewโฆI ran away from-โ
โme! ME, of all people, Kuni!โ You screamed, clutching your chest. Betrayal was what you thought in the time that came. You never uttered it out loud, but that was how you felt. He had betrayed you, left you without a single memory of him. To you, it was the worst form of abandonment.
โYou were built on your hate for abandonmentโฆthe three people who betrayed you, who left you! But you turn around and do the same!โ
โYou donโt get it, [Name]. I HAD to do it. It was me running away from what I did. You know what Iโve done. As Kunikuzushi, as Scaramouche, The Balldeer! I was a monster! Erasing myself from Irminsul was the only way to repent for my mistakes. My victims arenโt coming back from the dead, I know that. By making everyone forgetโฆallowing those silver branches to rewrite history around meโฆcan my acts be atoned forโฆโ
You should have felt happy, you know, you should have. Your lover came back from what you called something even worse than death. Yet why couldnโt you feel as such? You knew exactly why, and it was because he chose to leave you behind. Worst of all, you didnโt even notice. Imagine that, walking around and knowing something is wrong, knowing something was missing. The void as deep as the Abyss that corrupted the whole of Teyvat. Your mind wrecking itself as it tried to make sense of the change that no one bothered to analyze. Your heart missing who made it whole, but never knowing who did so.
He promised, you reasoned in your head. Scaramouche wouldnโt have cared if anyone forgave him. It was you who stood by him for almost three centuries. As much as you would deny it, you two were dependent on each other, two puzzle pieces that made the fit, but from chance.
You remember exactly how you met him. You, a creature of unknown origins with a story written to themself who met a puppet who was making history with each step he took in the land of Inazuma.
Light did not seep into this cave that the wandering eccentric had entered. The darkness offered no comfort, and he believed he did not need such. The Kabukimono was taught many things, lessons he may not need, as he was not human. He neednโt eat, sleep, or even breathe.
Yet, in the dimness of this space, he struck flint together to light his lantern to offer a flicker to see. A skill taught to him by whom he once thought as a friend, Niwa Hisahade, his found family. An ability he used to burn away a home he shared with another who reminded him of himself, a young boy who ended up betraying him. Just like his mother, and just like Niwa.
Upon the gleam of the lantern shining over a small portion of the cave, water flowed by his feet. He remembered what humans used to do when all covered in grime and soot, especially bladesmiths who endured the heat of furnaces and remnants of coal and iron; they bathed. Again, he had no need for such activities, but why care?
Honestly, what was the point? What was his purpose of living if his birthright to the Electro Archonโs gnosis was taken? What was the point if the people whom he thought were his family left him for dead? What was the point if the last person dear to him abandoned him, too? He didnโt care, he didnโt fucking care, he thought as he removed most of his garments to sink into the water.
Emptiness wasnโt the word to describe how he felt now that he thought about it. He would deny it vehemently if someone asked him if he felt pain from what happened. Yet who would ask him that? He was alone now, and he would make it stay that way.
The Kabukimono was constantly reminded of what was supposed to be his. One was the power sealed within him. What would it be like to wield the power of Electro? Had it been the naรฏve boy fresh out of the Shakkei Pavilion, he would have been overjoyed and used it for good, what his โheartโ desired. Now? He wished he could electrocute himself upon the water where he bathed. He desired nothing more than to see the marks on his body glow the familiar purple like that of Raiden Eiโs, yet not to give life but to take his.
He wished heโd never been born at all.
The water that flowed around him was odd. Trickling as if something was moving, but he was still, stagnant in movement, as he was preoccupied with the thoughts that drowned him. Was it a fish? He couldnโt see the water; it was too dark. Though it wasnโt that deep, perhaps two copies deep. Could a fish of a large size be making that noise?
But something made his skin crawl. The light from his lantern went out as if someone blew on it. He rushed to the line of gravel where his things were, immediately striking the flint to light it, but it went out, again and again. It was in that third attempt that it stayed.
The water was rippling, something was there or someone. He could feel eyes on him. Something was watching him, but where? He did not have human skin, but he could feel his skin crawling. Was this fear? How long has it been since he felt that? Usually, he would scare others unintentionally, but now he was afraid, and he didnโt know what.
Tinkle Tinkleโฆthe water continued to echo in this hollow space. Whatever was moving in the water was coming towards him.
He didnโt have weapons; he learned to forge them and not use them. Even so, he never fought before. Suddenly, he wished that the power within him was to be used against whatever was in the water instead of committing.
Then, when the thing closed the distance between itself and the lantern, he saw it.
A head, human? Humanoid? Human-ish? What was it? It was staring right at him with a glare that could pierce even the false sky.
If he had a heart, would he feel the sensations of heart palpitations? He was scared; he wanted to cry out of fear. He felt like a child, a little kid wanting to run to his mother for comfort. But he didnโt have that, did he?
Whatever this is, it still stared at him. It rose from the water, grounding themself on the gravel to get close to him. Their face was getting close to his, but not in a way like a predator, but a curious creature. Human-looking they were, he noted. Whoever was looking at him was studying him in an innocent way.
A wet hand came to his face, holding it softly and looking into his eyes. A tilt of the head similar to the bunny rabbits he once loved showed that this being was gentle. It made him nervous as whoever this person was scared the daylights out of him. He slipped as he tried stepping back but the algae beneath him made him sleep.
โHahahaha!โ They laughed softly and gently; finding his mistake funny and his fear amusing. One not out of politeness, it was even on the border with a cackle, like ones he heard when the bladesmiths drank during celebrations.
โYouโre not a humanโฆโ They said, letting go and pulling away to examine him further. Wet garments sticking to his skin as they sat in front of him.
โNo, I'm notโฆare you..?โ He almost stuttered in shock and confusion, a bit relieved, they pulled away
โI donโt know.โ Really? They didnโt know? Even he knew what he was, but that was because he was informed of his supposed purpose.
He examined this being. Delicate in appearance as he, movements gentle and graceful, but slowed with the resistance of the body of water. Eyes that first terrified him now became tender and warm.
What was he supposed to say in the presence of someone who was trying to study him with a piercing gaze? He couldnโt even confirm if this person โwere they a person? Anyways, he wasnโt sure if he tried to leave, he wouldnโt come out of this cave unharmed.
Wow, suddenly he cared about leaving in peace unscathed. Emotions were a puzzle he desperately tried to solve. Not being human but feeling what these disloyal pests felt? It infuriated him.
Yet the most important matter at hand was escaping thisโฆbeing. A beautiful creature, he noted, but terrifying as it made him feel as if he had a heart again.
โI donโt know what I am.โ The individual clarified, but was generous in giving more information. Rising up from the water and lying on the gravel. โPerhaps thatโs why I didnโt fit in with the humans when I lived amongst them.โ Lived with the humans just like he did.
โI donโt recommend it. Theyโre monsters.โ They said, sitting and settling in the water that flowed around them as he sat on moist land.
โYou donโt have to tell me, I know full well what those burdensome pests are capable of doing.โ
โNow thatโs unfortunate. Now what on Teyvat have they done to you?โ
โNone of your business.โ He spat back. This was one of the first times this side of him showed. The once kind and innocent Kabukimono was gone; he perished after everyone ripped his heart out.
โFine by me, then I shall bother you.โ They smiled softly. A warm expression on their face contrasted with the cold atmosphere of this cave. There, he learned snippets of whoever this was.
โThey gave me the name [Name]. Iโd change it to cut ties with them, but I wouldnโt know what to change it to. Whatโs your name?โ
โI donโt have one.โ
โWhen you lived with the humans, what did they call you?โ
โThatโs not important.โ
You sighed, lying on the moist gravel. He didnโt let his guard down, didnโt relax his porcelain-like joints as he kept his legs hugged to his chest. Silence fell upon the two; the only sound was the pool echoing and the flickering of the flame from the lantern that sat by him, the thing that helped him see the view of your beautiful but horrifying eyes. Last he checked, the humans didnโt put pretty and scary in the same sentence to describe anything.
โWhat brought you to this cave?โ
โJust wandering around, no preference nor objective.โ He muttered gruffly, resting his eyes on his knees. โโฆdo you live in this cave?โ
โI live nowhereโฆ kind of like you. I just stay far from the humans. Not keen on getting hurt again.โ You confessed, leaning on a rock perched by the shore of the pool. Sighs came from you, and he knew that memories were running through your head.
โNow you donโt get to know! You wonโt tell me anything. I know we just met, and I understand that. Humans said as much, something about them not being open to strangers.โ So you were familiar with human behavior, he noted mentally. Perhaps you were more cultured than he, he wondered. โIโll tell you when I get to know you better.โ
โKnow me better?โ Did you actually make plans to be closer to him? This quickly after meeting? Okay, not so cultured after all, but neither was he.
โI have to go.โ The wandering eccentric stood up abruptly. Drying himself and layering the various linens he wore from the moment he was born. Before he blew out the lantern, a golden light flickered. The feather he wore on his chest
โWhat is that..?โ You tried to examine it, but he stopped you, gently prying it from your hands. Though not as knowledgeable with humans but immersed enough, you sensed that maybe it was an object of sentimental value.
Soft hands wrinkled from the water retracted softly, understanding the situation. Though the personal dilemma still stood. This stranger was leaving, and in your time of involuntary solitude, you had wished for companionship yet would understand if he did not wish as such.
Another bout of silence came over; he stood stagnant, and soft gazes from you were all he avoided as he didnโt look you in the eye. Our faces then fell when the lantern was about to perish. The wax was melted, and candles were to be consumed by flame after all. It shouldnโt have bothered him; he was going to leave the cave after all, and you were lurking in the dark this whole time.
Only, he was hesitant, and he didnโt know why. This time, you couldnโt read his thoughts or identify what emotion he was feeling. Though for whatever reason, you assumed that he was afraid of the dark and would need aid in leaving.
Surprise came to him when you suddenly took his lantern, bringing it with you to a corner, and suddenly the rocks that you had lit using the lanternโs remaining ounces of life came to shine in luminescence. The light then spread, and the whole cave shone from the crystals that decorated the jagged walls and the underwater floor where fish DID swim.
The radiance from the crystals had revealed the beauty of nature. Specifically, nature untouched by humans. The only things tainted by their cruelty were you and him.
For once, his eyes bore fascination; his mouth slightly agape. Not as gullible and childlike as he once was, but this moment showed that in him, the boy who believed in everything and everyone wasnโt entirely dead. He was in there somewhere, sleeping peacefully and resting.
He watched as you took a stone, striking it against a vein of the brilliant geodes. Upon retrieving a piece that one could easily bear in one hand and in a pocket. You handed it to him, taking his delicate hands and gently gesturing for him to keep it. That way, he wouldnโt be so afraid of the void when he would inevitably venture out again.
In truth, it wasnโt the dark he was afraid of; you merely assumed.
The Kabukimono, however, wars raged in his mind. He didnโt want a friend, no more companions, no more found family. Though filled with grief and anguish from his experiences, why did he keep thinking about what you said? About getting to know him more.
โDonโt run into any more humansโฆdonโt get hurt again.โ A soft and genuine warning came from your lips. It felt different. It wasnโt Katsuragi warning the innocent lad to be selective with friends as some may not be trusted, but a statement coming from someone who possibly lived through what he did.
It was by my single and first act of kindness towards you that a flicker of hope appeared in his nonexistent heart. He didnโt have that piece. He felt like an incomplete puzzle. He only felt like a human when with those he thought loved him. To feel it again, it left a bittersweet feeling within his soul. He would reject it but yearn for it so dearly.
Donโt say it, donโt say itโฆdonโt you dare. You swore to yourselfโฆ
In his head, it was as if a voice had spoken and echoed in his subconscious. Maybe it was his imagination. Has he gone crazy? Was this the psychosis that humans educated him on? That sometimes such emotional turmoil could cause one to grow ill within the restraints of their mind. It was as if he could hear his mother, the Shogun, but even a gentler version of her voiceโฆit sounded like her, but it wasnโt.
โOne day, youโll meet someone as peculiar as you in a place most would not expect. Youโll be at a low point in your prolonged life, but they will bring you hope through compassion. It is very important that you ask them to join you on your endeavors.โ
โMake your choice, my dear.โ
[โLeave me alone, I care not for worldly possessions nor useless companionship]
[โJoin me. wander this cruel and disgusting place they call the world.โ]
With that, you took his hand as you two walked through the cave that he once believed symbolized his inner turmoil. He entered at one of his lowest and darkest moments, where he had almost given up upon being stripped of purpose and meaning. Now, he was leaving the hollow space that glowed both with newfound peace and the gems that would forever symbolize the act of benevolence that made him act against his principles.
You were going to be with him from now on. Or at least, you thought.
You didnโt know how long it had been, perhaps as long as familiar faces from your past were starting to age. The wrinkles and grayed hairs did not excuse them from the pain they caused you.
Thatโs how they were. Issues would arise between you and humans. Problems they deemed minor, yet you couldnโt understand why they hurt you. It pained you, but as time goes on, theyโll consider it as water under the bridge.
You were someone who was adopted by humans, able to live a life that was filled with what you could never understand. From bonds and relationships to the atrocities they would commit. As a young child, you could never comprehend why humans did as such. What was the purpose of the rules? Why were there standards of every aspect that influenced their minds? Why did emotion have no logic, and yet they continue to push for reason?
Your lack of understanding caused you to overanalyze to rationalize their deeds. If they loved you, why were you constantly raised in hatred? Where did such hurtful words originate, and why were they directed towards you? What was the stigma that surrounded people like you, and why did you have to blend in with their concepts of normal or acceptable?
Most importantly, if they loved you, how could they do such things?
Your adoptive father was a man filled with rage; it replaced his lack of remorse. In the times you had slipped, made a mistake that could be excused or forgiven, all you could do was cry and apologize each time the man threw you out of the house as storms took over the land.
His wife, your mother, was a significantly kinder individual. Patient and loving, but it came with conditions. You acted as her puppet to conceal her horrible personality. In the times when she spoke behind everyoneโs back, you would come to her defense. She painted you as the person who narrowed her mind. People then came to loathe you.
One of those people was your siblings. Older in age and more rotten in their hearts. They would band together and not only exclude you but shame you. From your appearance to your habits, a comment was heard. You had lived for so long, but you believed the first time you shed tears was a reaction and not an instinct; it was because of them.
You lost the spark of confidence in yourself. You no longer believed yourself to be beautiful, no longer heard your voice as a blessing, no longer found yourself a delight. Their words echoed in your mindscape for years.
โThe reason Mother took you is that she had pity. Father loathes you because you are acting like an ungrateful child.โ
โWhy do you guys hate me?โ
โWe donโt hate you. Where did you get that idea?โ Taunts came left and right from the lot of them.
โYou guys always say Iโm deadweightโฆa burden. I donโt feelโฆnice because of the words you tell meโฆyou always kick and pull on my hairโฆit always makes me feelโฆI donโt knowโฆโ You couldnโt explain as your eyes became wet with tears, clutching the hem of your clothes like a little child.
All you got was more ridicule, more humiliation than the time your father had made you weep in public for a mistake as small as being late to the school you were already failing. They couldnโt accept that a child of theirs was behind. This time, for the reason that this child wasnโt born and raised amongst them.
โMust we have a reason?โ All high and mighty as they pick at straws to blame you for their shortcomings, to excuse their behavior and mistreatment thrown at your face.
Surely you had friends, right? Wrong. Nothing but backstabbing people who had absolutely no reason to abandon and forget you. You hated the fact that how humans felt neednโt be logical. You were the sweetest and most angelic person they had ever met. So why do what they did? No reason, [Name], we just felt like it.
The reason was that you were โweirdโ. You were odd, and they couldnโt bring themselves to describe you as peculiar, as that was reserved for those they found somewhat normal; extremely ironic. You werenโt human and never would be. That was what they told you, and they never let you forget.
Your fear of being erased from history came into place, deeply engraved into your mind and in your soul. You wanted to mean something, to be someone special. If you were such, then no one would ever turn their back on you again. You would never be as lonely as you were when you were exiled for standing up for yourself.
โNow, on top of the cliff, you stood with The Kabukimono, who, by this point, had been given a name. One you gave to him personally in the decades spent together. He held your hand as he noted your wistful and melancholic gaze towards the place that was once your home. Only you never wanted to consider it as home.
โI could burn down their villages.โ He offered, tilting his head; his face gave a look of anticipation. It didnโt exactly soothe him when he committed arson by burning the house he lived in with the little boy. More of it symbolized him leaving everything behind.
He wanted you to have that. To leave and abandon all who wronged you. Additionally, he wanted those who struck tears in your beautiful eyes and grief in your golden heart to die a slow and agonizing death. He didnโt count how many years you two had been traveling together, but he accepted you into his heart as someone who was as hurt as he couldnโt possibly run away.
โDonโtโฆdonโt burn themโฆthey are still aliveโฆโ
โI think thatโs the point.โ
โI canโt do thatโฆโ
โYou wonโt. Iโll do it.โ
โBut theyโre my family and friendsโฆI couldnโt bring myself to do thatโฆor at least agree to it.โ
โDid you forget what they did to you? Call it water under the bridge, but thatโs definitely not how it seems when you cry just from remembering them. Iโฆdonโt like seeing you do thatโฆโ
โCry.โ You had asked why, and for whatever reason, he couldnโt explain it. Every time you wept, it made his chest tighten in a way he hated. Perhaps he found it bothersome that he would do anything to make it stop. Though honestly, perhaps he wanted you smiling and laughing instead of bawling from painful flashbacks.
He found himself wishing you smiled instead of wailing, like how you would smile when seeing a cat out and about. How youโd smile when eating delicacies he found disgusting for their sweetness. He wanted to hear you laugh; after all, it was the first thing he heard from you when he first met you.
With that, you left with him. You refused to look back, not wanting to set your precious gaze upon once more.
Agonizing screams echoed throughout the laboratory . His screams. You could hear every break of his voice, the wreckage of his throat, the tears he shed as pure torture ensued. You could see him hooked up to strange devices, you could see him being mutilated repeatedly to โfixโ him. This was for the better, right? That was what the Doctor said.
It had been some time since being recruited in Fatui. A man named Pierro, also under the title โThe Jester, โ had extended his invitation to him. It had happened as he had suspected that we were being watched and followed. In our failed attempt to escape, soldiers of the Snezhnayan military surrounded us. They bowed as that man stepped in.
The man had explained that a fellow harbinger of his had his eye on this eccentric. The praise caught his ears despite his reluctance; who was interested in him and who gave the recommendation to this harbinger?
Upon the offer of power sealed within, he accepted. You tried to deny it, but you knew why he accepted it. He wanted a purpose in life, a reason to live, a job to fulfill. Most importantly, he wanted vengeance upon all who wronged him. In your devotion towards him, you supported his decision.
As his cries continued, you looked away โsilently weeping yourself as you never wanted him to experience this. Yet, you knew he wanted this, even at the cost of brutal and inhumane experiments enacted upon him; he wanted this. If it meant getting what he most truly desired, you would be there.
โAt last, it seems we have reached the goal, puppet.โ A cunning voice broke through, one laced with malice and pure amusement from the puppetโs suffering. The Doctor, Dottore, had opened the experiment capsule in which he had trapped the puppet in.
โI was informed that you had power sealed within you.โ A lie, he sensed, and knew that he had power deep in his being when he met The Kabukimono as the mechanic, Escher.
โI believe that you will reach your full potential. Now, come. Show me your full power.โ Scaramouche โthe name he was given by the Fatui โ had exited the capsule. His puppet body glowing with Electro surges. The marks upon his body, the symbols of his nation and Archon, glowed with the light of purple. He could see the sparks coming from his hands. It felt invigorating, felt freeing and justโฆright; he was meant to have this power.
โAh!โ You yelped, the shatter of a neighboring experiment capsule spreading throughout the room.
Upon letting a strike of lightning out, he had struck many objects. The capsule, the apparatus used on his body to modify him, and the communication devices of Dottore for the other segments. He initially wanted to stop as he knew it was scaring you; the wrecking of the room posed the risk of hurting you. But alas, Dottore wanted to see the full extent.
The Doctor had forced Scaramouche to channel his power and unleash a blow. Dottore even lied, inviting one of his segments in and reassuring Scaramouche that if he focused, he would strike just him. He knew better than to trust him, but he did as such.
โAH!โ Horror entered Scaramoucheโs eyes when his one and only companion was struck. The lighting hitting you violently and causing you to collapse and pass out. He rushed to your side, holding you in his arms and desperately trying to wake you up.
โYou spend all this time here with me, and you still chose to trust my words.โ Dottore notes, looking down at you like a lab rat worth testing on until it dies.
โI will kill you one day.โ Scaramouche grits his teeth, muttering his vow, only for Dottore to grab at his mouth, forcing the puppet to look at him.
โI think youโre forgetting something here, boy. Who gave you your destiny back? This power was supposed to house your fate. Now I ask you, who gave it to you?โ
โMe. So remember what I am capable of and what I can strip from you the moment I hear you utter another ungrateful babble.โ
โIf I hear another word, I will rip them limb from limb and direct your power to reduce their body to cinders. Do you understand?โ Scaramouche nodded, looking down. It looked like a begrudging agreement โit was, yet it was also to mask his fear. Dottore let go of his face with a shove.
โThough perhaps Iโll allow you one comment of negativity as I DO owe you. If it werenโt for you, then I wouldnโt have had the pleasure of creating myself over and over again.โ A smile that he could only describe as pure insanity was engraved in his mind. He would dream of every experiment; every cut on his fair skin, every twist of his puppet joints, every drug injected into his artificial veins, every surge of power forced into his body that threatened to destroy him if it werenโt for his resolve.
โYou kept your promiseโฆโ Scaramouche said in a murmur as his sigh of relief warmed your hand. What was the promise? To not abandon him.
A hum reached his ears, scars tainted his eyes as he saw the scar on your body. It looked like the roots of a tree that would spread deeper into rich soil. Only it ruined your skin. Guilt seeped into his core. You had always been doubtful of your appearance. Now you have more reason to believe less of yourself. He would never admit it, but as you hated your looks, he found you ethereal.
โThe Fatui is the most advanced military force in Teyvat; theyโll have the best healers.โ Scaramouche traced the scar gently. It had healedโฆHis power was powerful enough that you were comatose for a few days.
Perhaps this was another time to call you out on being weird. You had wanted to keep the scars. If this were you in the past, youโd be bawling your eyes out and desperately searching for ways to rid them from your flesh. Being vain sometimes is rooted in judgment and prejudice that allows the seed of insecurity to grow.
โNoโฆitโs..beautifulโฆโ His eyes widened at your words. Shocked that you would choose to keep such a blemish. โI think itโs beautifulโฆlike the tree branches from the maple tree we used to sit underโฆโ Oh, had you missed the trees as since arriving here; it was rare to see a tree with foliage or of vibrant colors that Scaramouche used to hate.
Beautiful like you, he thought.
โYou spared himโฆโ Your voice came in soft yet cold as the wind howled. It came as you watched him from a hill on the beaches of Inazuma. The land he swore he wouldnโt return to. But as he swore to never return, his resolve for vengeance was stronger. He wanted revenge against those who betrayed him as a naรฏve boy. They were long dead, of course; it had been centuries since the incident at Tatarasuna. Youโd think it was enough that he didnโt turn off the Mikage Furnace. But no, he wanted more.
Here you two were, watching the men he terrorized scramble in terror. It was as if an omen of misfortune was placed upon them. Though that was the case as his actions would haunt generations of the clans to come.
โโฆdonโt even mention it.โ
โThis is the first time Iโve seen you back down from retribution. Why?โ Your intention wasnโt to interrogate; you just wanted to know why he would let go of what he wanted.
โTell me.โ Your urging voice caused him to click his tongue once more, and after pacing around in frustration. He rubbed his face and scratched at his head in anger directed at himself.
โNiwaโฆThat man was Niwaโs descendant. Just under a new last nameโฆKaedehara.โ
โWas it mercy?โ He couldnโt answer you. Maybe it was. Though the truth was, he still harbored love for Niwa. His first true family in his years of being โhumanโ.
How was he supposed to admit it? That emotion was the reason Raiden Ei deemed him unfit to house the gnosis; that emotion made him weak when faced with life. That emotion seeped back into a heart that didnโt exist, and he let go of his resolve.
Words werenโt needed at this moment as he watched the clan retreat. His gaze was filled with hatred but also longing. You needn't narrate his feelings as you knew him. He could fight and argue with you to deny it, but both of you knew he still yearned. He loved so deeply, and that is why it hurts just as much when itโs thrown back at his face.
โThey gave me a new name.โ Your head tilted, gesturing for him to continue and explain. Who had given him a name, and what was it? โKunikuzushi. It means Country Destroyer.โ
โHow do you feel about it?โ
โI donโt feel.โ Of course, the verbal confirmation, or rather cover-up, that he was but a husk of his former self.
โThen I guess it seems fitting for you. Tatarasunaโs population still dwindles, the Shogun is punishing the clans for their failure since you destroyed three schools from the Raiden Gokaden.
โYou think Iโm a monster, donโt you?โ
โOf course you areโฆbut Iโm no saint either. I know what you did to my village.โ His breath hitched. You found out about what he did? How? Who told you?
โBut I didnโt bat an eye. I didnโt care. In fact, I wanted to watch them perishโฆโ
โI should have told you then.โ A soft murmur came as he gazed at the horizon where your village once was. He had hunted each and every person whom he deemed a former threat to you and thought the quick and painless methods of death were too merciful.
He struck your father with lightning in the rain as a parallel to how he threw you out, shoved your mother in the ravine of electrified water, as that was how she punished you for misbehaving as a child. As we went on to your siblings, he spent months toying with their fragile and pathetic minds, and eventually, they did the work for him. He burnt down not only homes, but the history of the places as stakes, killing former friends like witches on trial. No one would come out alive, no one would tell their story, and no one would remember them as they chose to forget you.
โHow long ago did you do it?โ
โDecades ago.โ Those set of years felt like a blink of an eye. That was the curse of both time and immortality. If she who ruled time gave the opportunity to reverse what was done, you wouldnโt take it.
โAs atrocious as those humans.โ Kunikuzushi describes himself. The words left a bitter aftertaste that he couldnโt enjoy this time.
He was supposed to feel proud of himself. He had earned a seat in the Tsaritsaโs faction of Harbinger. The title โThe Balladeerโ was granted to him like a badge of honor. Honestly, he scoffed at that. Yet he felt no honor. Even with the praise he received from Snezhnayaโs queen, he felt nothing. As soldiers of lowly ranks saluted to him, he didnโt care. Then, when you knelt down before him, it struck him.
He had wondered why you stayed. It wasnโt that he wanted you to leave. In fact, he needed you to stay. Though the question still remains, why did you stay? In the centuries you spent with him, he had become a monster. Through his acts of vengeance, he had committed heinous acts. He had done it against the descendants of his former family, who were innocent, and those from your own past who knew nothing of their sins.
What has changed between you and him? He asked himself. Nothing did. You stayed with him. You loved and cherished him as the day you first gave him that glowing crystal to help him navigate in the dark. You caught him scoffing an amused huff upon seeing penguins. He witnessed a penguin giving a potential mate a pebble. Ever since arriving at Snezhnaya, he has called you his โidiot penguinโ.
Night took over the sky that you and he would spend hours looking at each night. This time it wasnโt wherever when travels were continuous; it was when we had shelter. Not like we couldnโt attain that before, we merely didnโt like the idea of staying in one place; we wanted to leave everything behind. There was no such thing as settling.
Being in the palace for Harbingers was not counted as settling but resting. The Balladeer hated it here. Reminders and memories of those torturous experiments would plague him as he slept. Coming back to the icy palace would remind him that he would be sent out on expeditions to the Abyss. The result of knowledge that was forbidden being brought to Teyvat. It would be in the form of corruption, as even gods could not process the true form of the void.
In contrast to the Abyss realm, there was light. One could never exist without the other. The Balladeer, though now known by his malicious and inhumane ways, could not live in the darkness of his mind. The light that shone was you. This stood firm as further missions revealed that the sky he once gazed at was a lie. Lies would come at him again and again, so that he couldnโt bring himself to trust anything or anyone. At least anyone that wasnโt you, the only truth to his world.
โIt is quite a shame that the sky is fake. Looking at this phenomenon now lacks that beauty.โ He teased a bit as you leaned against the window, looking at the winter sky where the Aurora Borealis was illuminating the land.
โI can still enjoy looking at it; itโs beautiful.โ You huffed, shaking your head with a chuckle. This is the same thing he said about food in your years of exploring not just the world, but cuisines from all time and nations. He found bitterness to be the truth as spices would just flavor the bland, and sweetness would conceal the ugly.
โThatโs ignorance.โ
โThere is a time when we can enjoy life without thinking.โ
โSince when have we enjoyed life?โ You paused quietly at his words. You had enjoyed it with him so far, has he not in his perspective?
โWhatโs the matter with you? Youโve gone quiet all of a sudden.โ
You never really did ask how he felt during his 300 years with you. Every time you did, he would reply in his usual answer that he neednโt feel such human aspects. At times, you felt doubtful about anything; his way of reassurance was not as affirming. He would instruct to utilize logic to find the answer, not acknowledging that there was a part that refuted any logic or reasoning.
Did he find life just a bit more bearable? Was he happy at all with you? You never knew. He would never say it. Youโd defend the fact that words werenโt needed by the reason that it had been three centuries of companionship; that you knew him better than anyone. Did you, though?
You could never quite explain how you felt for him. You made a small promise to him that neither of you would ever explore this concept. It was to protect ourselves from the hurt we both lived through. Though you could never stop yourself from wondering how he saw you. What were you to him? And what lengths would he go through for you?
Perhaps what he did to your village and all the residents that settled there was an obligation. Maybe he sensed your inner turmoil and destroyed their lives and legacies for you to stop your useless sadness.
You could never know. He wouldnโt say anything. While he has no one but you, he couldnโt even bring himself to open his heart to you. Was it because he didnโt have one?
โNothingโฆdonโt mind me. Iโm just admiring this false skyโs giftโฆโ
You couldnโt explain your grief. It broke your heart seeing the man you loved lose everything he worked hard for. All he wanted was to have his purpose, to be an Archon that his mother would be proud of. To be someone worth more than anything that no one would turn their back on. He would wish that no one would ever lie to him, no one would leave him. You stood as the only person who loved his soul.
But you were the reason he chased the gnosis. The reason he disappeared from you when he arrived in Inazuma to wreak havoc once again. The cause of your times by the hands of the Harbingers, why you paid the price of his treason. You didnโt care for the capital punishment that awaited you when he left for the Electro gnosis. Some part of you still trusted him, but even your faith was dwindling as you were starting to osee him as a stranger.
It was Dottore who brought you to Sumeru to see his final transformation as a god. Seeing him in that artificial but divine body should have been the moment he thought youโd be proud of. Though he saw your gaze. It wasnโt fear nor anger, but confusion, as you couldnโt recognize him.
The gnosis gave him purpose, but what he wanted from it was a heart. A heart is what beats; itโs what keeps a human alive. It is also the symbolism that signifies the love between humans when a heart beats for a person. He wanted that. He wanted a heart that would beat for you. He wanted to love you, and he couldnโt do that without that retched organ he yearned for.
โAnything but the gnosis..!โ Echoed in your head for weeks as he was defeated by The Traveler, the First Sage of Buer, with Lesser Lord Kusanali herself. This was it. What you feared. You couldnโt bear the tears or anguish that would come when he awoke. You didnโt want to see him fall apart, for it broke you too.
But alas, as he woke from his coma, weep was the first thing he did. You could feel his grip on you; he depended on you like his lifeline. He had failed you, he believed. He had failed to prove he was worth something. Worthless was the word he used for every moron he encountered. Now he was using it for himself as he had lost his birthright, his chance to arise from his turmoil, to look at you and love you both body and soul, and his desire to live.
โYou could be at rock bottom as you are now, and how we are will never changeโฆIโm not who youโre trying to impress butโฆyou wonโt need it. You never looked back, so that means they wonโt ever see you. They stopped being there and therefore donโt deserve to see you in all your glory.โ
โYouโve been humanโฆyou hate it, but I know just how much you yearned for it. You may not have had a heart, but I know just how deeply you lovedโฆThe fact that you did just proves that you didnโt need the gnosis.โ
Silence came over, and you continued.
โI donโt have to tell you just how long and how much Iโll be there to love you.โ Perhaps he did, as he genuinely couldnโt understand just what love was and why he wanted to give it all to you. He just didnโt believe he was loving you for 300 years. He wanted the gnosis for a heart because a human loves with a heart, and he spent these centuries chasing his humanity.
The void was how you would describe it. You didnโt know where you were or how you got here. All you knew was that you were here. Here in the land of Dendro, the pinnacle of all knowledge, but why? It was one thing to not know what you were or where you came from, but it was another to be in an entirely new land where you couldnโt remember what brought you here, or who.
You knew you were five hundred years of age. You remembered your first two centuries filled with memories of your time with humans. Yet what happened in the next three?
You could have sworn you had someone by your side this whole time. You could bet on someoneโs precious life that someone was with you all these centuries. There was a person who you loved, who protected you, who wreaked havoc just to make you happy. You were supporting someone, standing by them even as malice took over their soul. But who? And why couldnโt you remember?
You would eat, sleep, and dream. This was all you could do as you desperately invaded your mind to remember who was it that destroyed three of the five schools of the Raiden Gokaden? Who massacred your place of origin and erased their dragpath from history? This was what was on your mind as Lesser Lord Kusanali could not offer her help. You donโt even remember what led you to meet her and the Traveler.
The guilt you felt couldnโt be explained. It ate at you as you stayed awake in the bed given to you by Sumeruโs archon. You didnโt know why you felt this way for simply having a liking towards the vendorโs assistant. It was when you decided to explore the fuss around the Grand Bazaar. Your intention was to see the famed Nilou. You had fallen in love with the way her body moved like flowing water, how she dedicated her dances to Lesser Lord Kusanali.
In the time you watched the Nilou with pure amazement, a familiar but unknown veil flowed in the wind. You looked to your side and saw a beautiful man with a hat known as a โkasaโ. How did you know the hat was a โkasa hatโ? He watched Nilou with a soft smile. โHer dances are dedicated to her God; that devotion is worth admiring.โ A gentle voice snapped you out of your trance as you realized he knew you were staring at him.
He had introduced himself as one with no name. He also bore no recollection, and you found that an odd coincidence. It was from the void in both of your souls that you bonded together. Little did he know it was he who left that hole in your heart.
Blissful ignorance came over with every goofy grin that came from him. Oh, how you admired his attire; it seemed so comforting to you. To add to his appearance, which was fair and flawless, his attire gave a childlike aura. The kasa hat resembles a lotus, and according to Lesser Lord Kusanali, that meant rebirth. The birds that soared in the patterns of his clothes showed freedom. Had he been shackled by something prior? The golden feature was one thing he cherished without knowing who gave it. Yet according to him, there was something that tugged at him more.
โThis crystalโฆone of the merchants said it came from Inazuma. It glows when you strike it. A good night light, Iโll say. Might work for someone afraid of the dark.โ He notes, showing you the crystal.
โAre you afraid of the dark?โ You teased, nudging him as you sat on top of this tree, gazing down at the city. Looking down and seeing students scramble for thesis works, merchants trading amongst one another, and adventurers collecting their awards from the guild.
โNo, perhaps more what lurks in the darkness. He even offered a hefty price for it, saying it was rare. I turned him downโฆI donโt know who gave it to me or where I got itโฆbut Iโve had it for as long as I can remember. I donโt want to lose it.โ
โYou really have no recollection of your past, do you?โ
โI donโt, unfortunatelyโฆBut I want to rememberโฆdonโt you? You said youโre missing memories too.โ
โYeah, but not my whole lifeโฆyou donโt know about anything from your lifeโฆI can only imagine what thatโs like.โ
โOh, donโt feel bad for me. Perhaps Iโll get my memory back.โ He laughs, smiles at you softly with a warmth that radiates from his eyes.
โAnd how do you think youโll get your memory back?โ
โIโm not sure! Maybe Iโll hit my head again?โ
โHAHAHA! Want me to do it? Iโll shove you off this tree!โ
โNo thanks! Thatโs too much! Do it with a stone instead. What if you throw this crystal at me? Maybe Iโll remember who gave it.โ
โWait, wait! Iโm kidding!โ
The vendors looked in confusion, seeing a boy being chased by another down the city as they came from the Akademiyaโs viewing tree. He was yelling โI take it back, wait please!โ With the other threatening to throw a crystal worth more mora than the average paycheck.
This is how you greet your companion after not remembering him for who knows how long. A punch to the face, which might bruise his porcelain skin. It was fortunate he was not made of actual porcelain, and if he was? You wouldnโt care. He muttered a comment about deserving it, deserving more even.
It was thanks to the Traveler and Paimon catching on to him in his new life that he chose to remember. Nahida had even granted your memory of him back, along with his whole life. You couldnโt look at him the same after that.
The battle between him and his past selves was concluded. Even earning the favor of the gods above and earning a vision. A vision that represented freedom. Did he feel free? Certainly. Yet he knew he also felt guilt. In the process, he knew that perhaps you deemed him like the rest.
You should have been happy. He was back! You didnโt care if your actions with him were to benefit or harm; youโd follow him regardless. If anyone asked, you felt abandoned. He had spent his years with you in deep talks about abandonment and betrayal. He even made the both of you swear that we wouldnโt turn our backs on one another, and what happened?
You tried to do what he always said, the method of thinking to get rid of irrationalities. You knew that his intention by erasing himself from Irminsul was not only to erase the past and run away from it, but somehow atone for it.
You also felt betrayed. In the time he spent with you, he chose to just erase it. Three hundred years, and what were you to him? A pet? A follower? How could you possibly know when he wouldnโt even speak about how he felt? Salt rubbed on your wounds when he insisted the Traveler name him. What happened to the one you gave him?
He could have had any other title. He has been The Kabukimono. He was once Scaramouche, The Balladeer. Inazuma called him Kunikuzushi. Yet his true name was the one you so happily and lovingly gave him. He chose to forge a new one.
You could recognize and remember him now, but he felt like a stranger.
He could feel your sadness leak from you. How your gaze was filled with nothing at all; no emotion or feeling. How you would yearn for someone who was right there in front of you. He knew you were angry; you had every right to be. He was too maddened himself to not realize what he had the whole time. No amount of erasing was ever going to compensate for that.
โErase me as you did for yourselfโฆโ
โWhat did you say..?โ
โYou are neither deaf nor stupid, you heard me.โ
โIโm not, but you definitely are. Erase yourself? What the fuck are you talking about?โ
โI told you to erase me like how you did to yourself. Erase me from Irminsul.โ
โWhy? Why the hell- why the fuck would you ask for that?โ
โWhy not? You did it. You erased yourself from the whole world! Had it not been for the Traveler and Lesser Lord Kusanali, I would have forgotten you, too.โ
โThatโs different!โ
โHow is it any different? Tell me! How is it any different?!โ
โBecause I was a coward! You know me, youโve known me for so long! My sins and what Iโve done. Everything that I did, everyone that I knewโฆI ran away from-โ
โme! ME, of all people! You were built on your hate for abandonmentโฆthe three people who betrayed you, who left you! But you turn around and do the same!โ
โYou donโt get it, [Name]. I HAD to do it. It was me running away from what I did. You know what Iโve done. As Kunikuzushi, as Scaramouche, The Balldeer! I was a monster! Erasing myself from Irminsul was the only way to repent for my mistakes. My victims arenโt coming back from the dead, I know that. By making everyone forgetโฆallowing those silver branches to rewrite history around meโฆcan my acts be atoned forโฆโ
โWhat was I to you? Someone you loved or someone who just stayed for you?โ
โNo, you donโtโฆI was just convenient to you, now was I? I just kept you motivated until you had the strength to do this.โ
โYou know thatโs not tr-โ
โNo, I donโt! You never say anything! Three hundred years is a humanโs lifespan multiplied! I stay by you, and what do I get?โ
โOh, Iโll answer that for you! I got a partner who was too blinded by his own anger, and he couldnโt even bring himself to believe he felt what humans did. You chased your humanity all this time, but you already were one! Even if what you did before was atrocious, you were human. You didnโt need a heart.โ
โYou chose your revenge instead of opening your eyes, and now look. You had to choose to atone for that; by choosing that, you left me! Imagine what that was like! Losing the person you loved, your person, your other half, your soul! I have felt that, and the worst thing is, I didnโt even know why my heart ached for every single day and night.โ
โAnd what do you do when you get your memories back? You turn your back on what we had. Our history, our memories, OUR LIVES.โ
โOh my godโฆwere we real..? Was our love anything to youโฆ? Oh godโฆwhat if it wasnโtโฆโ Realization comes to you, and it made you go insane. Your shouting stopped, coming into whispers of disbelief as you looked at him like he was nothing but a hallucination.
He didnโt know what to say. He spent years avoiding the concept of sentiments. He believed in the philosophy that the soul and body were separate entities. The body was a hindrance to him. So now, when he needed to understand himself to explain his actions, how he loved you all this time, why he regretted his choices, suddenly he couldnโt articulate.
โYou canโt erase yourself. You donโt deserve that. A monster such as myself did.โ He says, a cold tone from his throat as deep down, he knew he hurt you beyond belief. You believe that he chose everything else over you. How was he supposed to fix that?
โYou canโt access Irminsul. Lesser Lord Kusanali wonโt help you.โ He continues, holding you in his arms. He buried his face in your shoulder to stop the tears.
โYouโre worth remembering, [Name]. Iโmโฆsorryโฆ300 years with you wasโฆactually everything to meโฆโ
Perhaps it was too late for that. How could he say that? It was so ironic.
โHow is Hat Guy nowadays, Nahida?โ Paimon would float by the Traveler. Her loud and shrill voice grew in concern.
It had been a while since he had enrolled in the Akademiya. Nahida had praised his devotion to studying for the entrance exam. But really, he was drowning himself in books to distract himself.
He had achieved quite a lot. They were glad he was living the life of a stressed and sleep-deprived human. Even if he didnโt need sleep, the fact that he wasnโt actually struggling in studies. After becoming a member of Vahumana, the Darshan specialized in Aetiology, and you could barely speak to him as he was buried in books. From studies of Medicine to Social Sciences and Psychology.
But that isnโt the update they wanted. They wanted to know how he has been since the disappearance of [Name]. The Traveler had officials place missing person posters of their sibling. They didnโt imagine that Wanderer would place posters of his partner in places that were even prohibited. A sketch drawn by himself as he had memorized their face. He couldnโt believe that was one of the things he left behind by burning his branch in Irminsul.
It had been cruel years. Surely they didnโt go through with it, right? He could still remember them. He knew them like the back of his delicate hand. He would smile in his sleep. Paimon would assume he was dreaming of teasing and tormenting people, but it was him dreaming of you. One dream caused him to cry. Crying in his sleep is what caused Ei not to give him the gnosis and throne. The dream that caused him to weep by his books was his last memory of you. Where you wailed, clutching your chest as the pain in your heart was too much. Your beautiful hair in a mess as you scratched and pulled at it in insanity.
Had he really made you feel abandoned? Oh, how he was a hypocrite.
Aetiology was the study of causation. He would read and listen to lectures about humanity. In social sciences, he learned why they did what they do. Why wage wars? Why consider something as brittle and worthless as gold as a monetary treasure? Why do stupid superstitions based on false gods exist?
It wasnโt all just studying the morons he was now with, but understanding himself. He needed that desperately if he wanted a chance to be with you. He needed you more than anything and anyone.
He knows what betrayal is like more than anyone, but why do the same to you? Now looking back, with Nahidaโs help. He learned that he was never actually betrayed and abandoned, but that was how he felt. He never actually became a traitor to you, but the same logic applies. Thatโs not how you felt.
In his studies of causation, he learned why he was so driven. You. He swore never to get attached, but he became fond of you. More than that. Godhood was one thing he wanted, but what he needed was to be complete. He was a stringless puppet already with no master controlling. With you, he was a lover with no heart. It seems he was 300 years too late in confirming he neednโt that wretched gnosis.
At night, he would talk to himself, imagining it was you. The explanation you deserved.
โI was told that only humans could loveโฆthat I needed to have itโฆa heart that would beat for youโฆBut I already had itโฆI had youโฆuntil I chose to forget youโฆโ
If only you knew he would do anything for you. All those lovers who would claim they would burn anything and everything for you. Itโs an exaggeration from them, but the Wanderer had done it for you in the past.
โMy victims wonโt come backโฆIโm not trying to atone for it. Iโll go to hell anyway. Iโm just making sure any sliver of justice will be given to their descendants. Even that Kaedehara boy.โ
Where were you? What have you done to yourself? Again, surely you werenโt able to push through with thatโฆSelf-erasure was equivalent to suicide. It was another realization that struck him as he paused. He had studied how suicide victims leave behind people who loved them. From their grief to their acceptance. Oh god, he didnโt even give you a chance to grieve him properly.
If only you knew he would only go by the name that Traveler gave him in public. He was always going to go by what you gave him. It was proof you existed, your mark on not the world but him. You were all the proof he needed to show he could be devoted to someone. No gnosis was ever going to prove the same.
If only he had understood and realized that sooner.
โSo I chased it. Fought for it. Destroyed for it, and all that timeโฆ you were there.โ
โYou spoke to me. Stayed with me. Chose me, and Iโฆโ A bitter laugh came out, but soon he choked on his own tears, dropping the crystal on his hollow chest. Looking out at the window, he saw no Aurora Borealis. For one, it happened every hundred years; second, it only happened in Nod-Krai and Snezhnaya, where the penguins waddled, giving out favorite pebbles to mates.
You were his penguin, his idiot penguin. You were an ethereal creature beneath the snowflakes. Not ephemeral like the flowers that would wilt.
How does someone ever fill the void of another who had been present for that long? Someone as loving and as devoted as you? Thatโs right, you donโt. He wanted โno, needed to find you. He was going to do so. No matter what it took. He would gladly become a monster again to erase his efforts of atonement if it meant finding you.
โHere at last! And things look even messier than last time, haha!โ Enthusiasm filled the docks as a beautiful witch stood by. The sustainer of the worldโs borders, Alice. Here in Nod-Krai, where the chaos had yet to begin. The moon is shining for her.
โWell, Miss Alice? Shall we begin?โ A synthetic human answering, his formality showing his loyalty and familiarity towards her.
โAh! Thereโs no rush, and Iโd like to catch up with an old friend first. And what about you, young man?โ She reads the letter she received via crow from that old acquaintance, now looking at the man whom she called.
โHm. Letโs part ways here. I have an old score on my own to settle, and a wound that I was the cause of.โ He left, walking by as the water reflected not his current self, but that of the past.
He never knew he had developed a connection with you. A connection that allowed him to sense if you were here. After all, you barely spent time apart. He could sense it. You were here. Here in Nod-Krai. What made him internally panic was the fact HE was also here. Dottore.
โJust a coincidence, he reassured himself. He was going to take his revenge on the Doctor and get the Light of his Abyss back in his life. No crossovers. He was going to get you first.
โLittle did he know that he would have to shoot two birds at once.
โSuch obedience. Becoming an enemy of the Frostmoon Scions for the mission.โ
โIt is only I repay my debt to you, Dottore.โ You saluted him. It was your way of thanking him for sheltering you. To you, you appeared in the land of Nod-Krai, where those worshipped the fallen moons. No memory of who you were, or where you came from.
โAs you resumed your mission, the Doctor would grin every time he remembered why exactly you served under him. He knew who you were, just not when he met you, or how he did. He could have sworn something was missing when he found you alone.
He erased the twig of your branch in Irminsul, but not the seed. You were the only one who couldnโt remember. All but you could reminisce while you wandered the world. More clueless than you were 500 years before
Imagine your loverโs horror upon seeing you stand by the monster he loathed.
Light of his void, stripped of ambition and passion. Heart and soul erased. Eyes so ethereal, yet carried no remnants of love, forever empty.
ยฉ๐ธ๐ถ๐ธ๐ผ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ เฃช ึดึถึธโพ.เฃชเฟ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ข, ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ข ๐ ๐๐๐
