slowly_starving

this is so embarrassing, i still feel so big and i need to lose like 20 lbs but okay

I went to treatment in 2006. It’s 2018. I was just contacted by a former patient I went to treatment with. She got me up to speed with the progress of our former friends.

Two have died. Many have relapsed and are still struggling.

Again. This was 2006. I was 20. Most of the girls there were in there 20s. And now we are in our 30s and some of us in our 40s. The person who contacted me is in her 60s and going back into residential in a few weeks.

Let that sink in.

Tumblr gives you a false reality. Eating disorders don’t stop when you reach a certain age. Eating disorsers don’t end once you hit 30 and are ready to trade in your pumpkin spice lattes and ugg boots and small apartments.

They continue when you buy that house and pay your first mortgage and get engaged and married. They are there when you get pregnant or have kids and go to your first PTA meeting. And sometimes they continue when you are 45 and getting a mammogram because you’re old enough now to regularly get those. They are there when you have menopause and they are there when your hair goes grey.

So if you think you’ll be spared, you won’t. Unless, of course, you get help.

You think any of us back in 2006 thought that in 2018, we’d STILL be struggling? Hello no. We got help because we wanted to be DONE.

And even then we all fucking relapsed. Not because treatment didn’t work, but because EDs are a bitch and need constant recovery.

Had I not gotten pregnant, my life would have gone into the shitter. And even with my daughter, I STILL can’t let go of the food.

So here’s all the vitamins I take when I’m restricting, as we all know how important vitamins are.

Turmeric- it actually helps to decrease inflammation that comes along with fat and can help reduce the actual production of fat tissue! It’s also been known to help with things like depression and heart disease (Amazon)

Hello Beauty- if you’re restricting it can cause Hair loss and your skin to lose some of its vibrancy, biotin and keratin help grow healthy hair and skin and nails (Amazon)

Literally Feel Great- we all know ACV can help with weight loss, as well as the cayenne pepper, and I for one would much rather have it in pill form than in a shot (Amazon)

Zinc- helps a lot with brain function, I’ve been taking it since I was little to help with my AD/HD, but it’s good for everyone, it also is good for immune health, and when you’re restricting, you want to make sure you’re immune system stays safe (pharmacy)

Vitamin E- heart health, also if you have a deficiency it can cause extreme muscle weakness and a weak immune system, so you want to make sure you’re still getting it in your diet (pharmacy)

Vitamin C- immune system (again) this one is definitely known for helping fight off sickness, if you’re not eating then you’re body is much more prone towards potential sicknesses as your body is already fighting to keep you going (pharmacy)

Vitamin B- obviously you could get this in pill form too but the mio makes water taste really good and is 0cal, B is known to help increase energy naturally which is awesome for a caffeine junky like me (grocery store)