finn

The moonlight reflected through the stained glass pouring into the somber church aisle in a way that felt uninviting. It was clear no one had been inside these walls for a while, nothing was in its place and the once sacred space was now left to the shadows.

You couldn’t understand why Cain would bring you here, into this place that had long since abandoned his holy father. You wanted to understand him, but sometimes you felt he wasn’t worthy of your patience. His hateful words spewed out proudly, tying it all to a religion that was deeply rooted in fear.

You looked back to the half open doors of the church, hesitating on turning back to find the others. Genesis would probably let you tag along. You shouldn’t have split up.

“Already thinking about leaving? I suppose your sinful mind is driving you away.” Cain’s voice echoed quietly throughout the empty space. He stood away from you, shining the bright torch past you and towards the door.

“My sinful mind?” Your eyes darted toward him as you repeated his words. The light shining at you made it hard for you to see him, the darkness in his hair blending into his face.

“Yes. You’re not to blame, it’s in women’s nature. Promiscuity, Vanity, and the rest.” He continued as he walked further into the church toward the altar. You could feel a rush of blood heating from your neck up, a mix of anger and self consciousness that you couldn’t contain any longer.

Every part of you wanted to scream out and cuss him out, but you knew he would take that as a victory. You should’ve known better than to stick with him of all people, his rights could never outweigh his wrongs. Too blinded to see the absurdity in his own words.

You followed behind him, keeping enough distance to avoid conversation for the rest of the excursion. The church was small enough to explore for less than an hour, and so you counted the minutes. Silence dragged out as he looked around the abandoned church, shining the light on the walls and dusty artifacts.

That was when you noticed the door in the back of the room, completely shut and almost blending into the stonewalls. He didn’t hesitate, pushing the door open with a surprising amount of strength you didn’t think he had in him.

The door seemed heavy, he could only hold on for a few seconds before letting go, leaving you enough time to both enter the room. There were still robes hung up, and several journals scattered on a table in the centre of the room, some open while others remained sealed.

“Interesting. The sacristy is still intact.” He spoke softly, clearly fascinated by the state of the chamber. There was an inexplicable lack of dust in the room, no sign of time passing through. He noticed it too, as he scanned the shelves and the wardrobe, the only thing that stood out was the smell. The humid and rancid odor that belonged to this room only.

You felt it all at once, your gaze shifting to meet Cain’s while his gaze shot straight to the door focusing on the gap.

“We shouldn’t be here-” The words spilled out of his mouth as he rushed to the door. The torch that was once in his hand slipped out crashing on the ground, his fingers swiftly grazing the handle just out of reach as it slammed shut. This time his strength alone wasn’t enough to force the door open. The torch flickered rhythmically before dimming out, leaving you both in the tenebrous atmosphere.

You reached for the door handle, hoping that it just needed an extra push but it wouldn’t budge. After countless attempts at pushing and pulling, you finally took a second to regain strength. You let your hand slip down the handle as you squatted down in exhaustion. His hand slipped away from the handle as soon as your fingers grazed his knuckles, retreating to the other side of the room to find another exit.

“…I should have known better. I’m being tested.” He mumbled to himself as he looked behind each cabinet for a hidden passage.

It wasn’t often you saw such a panicked expression on his face, you supposed the situation called for it, but something in the way he reacted made it seem like it wasn’t just the lack of exits getting to him.

His gaze trailed towards you almost fearfully, his pupils shaking as he looked away. You watched him from your seat on the floor, looking up as he walked towards the door to test it once more. He let go of the handle with a deep sigh, finally accepting the reality of your situation.

“We’ll have to wait for the others to find us at dawn.” You shrugged. He nodded absentmindedly, staring at the door, his eyes blinking slowly as if in a silent prayer.

“You seem comfortable?” He peeked at you from the corner of his eyes, tipping his head slightly towards you, he didn’t seem pleased with your comfort, and for a moment he lingered. His lips quivered with words that would remain unsaid, then he snapped his head away fleeing the exchange with quiet steps across the room.

“We’re gonna be here for a while, might as well relax.” Your words managed to make him stop going deeper into the room. Still he didn’t bother looking back.

“I would rather not,” He whispered. “I will not fall into temptation.” He breathed out the words almost inaudibly, but you managed to make out the sentence.

“I see..” You chose to ignore his whispers, instead focusing on anything else in the mysterious room you had found yourselves in. The countless books on the shelves that were surprisingly not different bible versions, but personal stories—diaries kept by the late priest.

The longer you got lost in the darkness of the room, squinting to read the words scribbled on pages, the harder it was to ignore the weight of his stare. You’d try to catch him when his eyes inspected you for too long, but he wouldn’t let you.

To your surprise he didn’t stay in his corner throughout the night. He roamed around the room along with the darkness before reaching you, peering over your shoulder at the words on the page you read.

Father, give me the strength.

He stared at the written prayer without a word.

"Is your journal similar?" You spoke softly, staring down at the page. You heard him scoff behind you, reaching forward to flip a page or two inspecting its contents. He leaned forward crowding your space, in the same way he'd restricted you from doing.

"No. It isn't..." He shifted away from you, glancing at you from the corner of his eyes. A pleased smirk played on his lips for a split second before he pulled away.

"Then what's in it?" You toyed with the book nervously, flipping through the pages with a press of the thumb.

"Private thoughts..." His voice trailed off, sounding distant even though he stood so close. You placed the book on the table, expecting him to give you space, but instead he felt closer. His breathing heavy as he stood slightly above you, glancing down at you when he knew you couldn’t notice.

Closing the diary, you took a glimpse over your shoulder and for a moment you hesitated. He had always been hard to read, never quite the same as you remembered him--you could never tell which fragment was truly him. You turned to face him, leaning on the table behind you.

He hadn’t realized how close he was till he saw your gaze so clearly fixated on him. You noticed the ways his eyes spoke, trailing over every feature on your face only to force himself to look away. Yet he didn’t move away, he couldn’t bring himself to break the tension with action or inaction.

“I don’t know that I can…” He spoke softer than you’d ever heard him, the sound catching you off guard. Your heart thumping in your chest seemingly louder than his voice.

“That you can what?” You wondered as you looked at him, curiosity sparkling in your pupils. He let out a deep sigh, his hands twitching at his side aching to hold.

“…That I can discipline myself.” He dipped his head down letting it rest on your shoulder for a moment. The contact was abrupt, your first instinct was to push him away but just as you lifted your hands they dropped back down.

His confession sounded more like a warning, and every inch of your body was burning red, but it didn’t feel like a bad thing. You felt his head turn towards you, his soft breaths brushing against your neck, and the feeling that he was inching closer.

He pressed his hands down onto the table behind you anchoring himself before acting further. You could feel the hesitation, the awareness of the implication with each breath prickling onto your sensitive skin. He let his eyelids fall shut as he whispered your name like a prayer in the crevice of your neck, his hand hovering over your nape not daring to touch.

He kept his eyes shut as he rested his head against yours as if not to break the spell, taking in your scent as he leaned in closer. He wanted to be consumed by this desire, to forget the teachings that had been so deeply cemented into his system, and instead press his core into yours till there was no boundaries between either or. Just the thought seemed impossible to fathom, a subtle inkling of the revelation to come.

You felt his breath so intimately against yours, every hard plane of his body rubbing desperately against yours. You leaned in slightly reaching for the zipper of his jacket, your lips grazing his for a second before nothing.

“No.” He grabbed your hand from the zipper, glaring at you with so much accusation you stumbled on your words.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean—” You tried to fix it but the damage was already done.

“You’re not sorry. You have tainted me with your lustfullness, that is what you do.” He interrupted you, scolding you for the image he had assigned you. “Meretrix.” he mumbled, stepping away from you, creating a small distance between you.

“I never asked for that. You initiated it.” You argued, your disgust clear on your face. His cheeks still held the rosy flush from the heat of the moment, but he wouldn’t admit it.

“Men are bound to be victims of the ruses of women. It’s in the scripture, from Adam and Eve.” He justified himself with more religious ideologies, lifting the responsibility onto you solely because of your nature. A part of you felt that you had yourself to blame, you should have known better especially with Cain. He’s a walking contradiction, limiting his curiosity with writings on a page.

“You sound like a coward, you can’t even own up to your own actions.” You said finally turning away from him and back to the diaries you had left on the table. You knew he would have more to say, but your dismissal would put him off into a long silence.

Though you tried to distract yourself with the various contents of the room, you couldn’t completely block him out. You watched occasionally from the corner of your eye—squinting through the darkness of the room—his whispered prayers. Words would catch your attention such as forgiveness, temptation, sinful.

He paid no mind to you from the rest of the night, or at least he believed so. Without his eyes searching the room for you, his mind searched through his memory for the moment you shared. Just being stuck in that room, he relived the scene more times than he would like to admit. He saw it as a punishment, to be stuck in that constant feeling of wanting more than he could have.

He had to push you away somehow, that way he was sure to never get lost in the possibility of you. The more you hated him, the harder it would get to crave you. He could never be a lover, so he could never lose his holy father’s trust.

The faint sounds of voices surrounding the room snapped you out of your daydream—or nightdream you had lost track of your physical state. You rushed to the door banging on it with your hand, hoping you could get someone’s attention. You didn’t bother checking for Cain, as you reached for the handle giving it a push. The door swung open from the push making you stumble forward till you were face to face with Silas.

Your eyes widened as you glanced back at the door, finally exhaling with relief. The others gathered around gradually asking all sorts of questions about the situation. As usual Cain walked behind, leaving you to answer all the questions with creeped out answers, and soon enough you reached the town centre.

OMGGG I FINALLY PLAYED HIS ROUTE AND LIKE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH IM BOUT TO BUY HIS PLUSH RNNN.

also alt versions lemme know which u like best!!

Religion’s Effects

I don’t interpret the root of his prejudice as being overtly political (according to a pinned discord message, Cain doesn’t seem to be a “political guy,” but that's a whole other can of worms). I think he’s just diabolically ignorant on things that don’t directly affect him, like lots of cis white dudes out there. He was raised in a Catholic household with strict gender roles, and I’m guessing the extent to which he understands queerness is Leviticus 18:22 “Man shall not lie with man as with woman, for this is an abomination to the Lord your God,” [my own abridged quotation of the passage]. Honestly I’m not even sure if he knows how to feel about lesbians if he takes that passage to heart, word for word. But it’s also not far-fetched to assume his church also held sermons about the “act” of homosexuality in general, man or woman "committing" it.

On the topic of trans people though, I don’t know if he knows they exist. There is a passage, Deuteronomy 22:5, talking about “cross-dressing” I suppose? Again, described as “...an abomination to the Lord your God.” But I think that’s something that would be more preached in the modern day with the current climate as opposed to in 2009. However, we shouldn’t forget Cain does seem to be very active on the internet 😭 so I don’t think it’s impossible for him to have stumbled upon the concept. I don’t wanna reduce him down to just being some devout, pious church-boy since he clearly breaks plenty of those stereotypes and rules, and doesn’t think very highly of the church either. 

To be completely honest I don’t think Cain would be welcome in most Catholic spaces. His faith is a little… unique, to put it lightly, and doesn’t seem to strictly adhere to only Catholic ideas (though anyone who is more knowledgeable on Catholicism, please do share your thoughts I would love to hear). I’ve sort of been describing Cain as “homebrew Catholic” since that seems to be the best description I can come up with. On the lower end of the rule-breaking spectrum, it’s generally frowned upon to swear even if you aren’t “taking the Lord’s name in vain” and many Christians find it undignified or sinful to cuss (my grandma did not like it when I swore in any context and she was Protestant, which I associate with being a little looser with things than Catholics, but maybe I’m spreading misinformation). And he also believes in the supernatural and conspiracy theories… which most Christians I’ve interacted with or seen think is “pagan, devil-worshipping nonsense.” But hey there’s Wendigoon. (Off topic side-tangent but I think it’s possible Cain could enjoy Wendigoon when he discovers him in the early 2020’s)

A little bit more on religion before we get to everything else, but I do think this is an important anecdote. I notice the kinds of Bible passages and lessons that get the most attention are ones that assert control, establish power dynamics, and emphasize “do not’s” as opposed to ones that ask for tolerance and love. Many congregations that hold prejudiced ideals focus heavily on these parts of the Bible. Things about wives and children being obedient to husbands and fathers are also harped on endlessly, and my impression is that that’s the sort of church Cain’s family was part of. So I imagine that is most of Cain’s Biblical lexicon even if he’s read it himself cover to cover. What you hear over and over, especially in childhood, deeply impacts you and sticks in your brain. Worming its way into your subconscious. Anyway!

The Juicy Non-Binary Stuff

When it comes to non-binary people though, I’m not even sure if Cain knows what that is, but you never know with wherever the hell he is on the world wide web in 2009. We know he’s on in-universe Twitter, Reddit, I think 4chan, and some other interesting places. I don’t doubt he’s seen some people gay-posting at the very least. I was born like twenty years after he was, so I’m sure my age had something to do with this, but I didn’t even know non-binary was a thing until like 2018 while living in an incredibly liberal pro-gay, pro-trans area. But this isn’t my coming out story, and I was also only ever on YouTube, so.

The concept of non-binary would definitely confuse him, and things that confuse Christian white guys often upset them. But Cain is also described as someone with a desire for knowledge and understanding, which I think is his biggest strength in unlearning the things he was taught that hurt himself and other people. But a barrier between Cain and non-binary MC would absolutely be Cain’s initial frustration and lack of understanding of the concept, especially since his idea of gender is anatomical and physical, as opposed to abstract and societal. He wouldn’t want to be wrong, especially about something so seemingly straightforward and elementary. But he can’t just avoid MC entirely (girl, the plot) since they’re on the message board, and he feels this… odd, unfamiliar sensation: Having someone who’s easy to talk to, no matter how annoying and frustrating they are sometimes. 

And so I’m guessing it would go over… interestingly. I don’t know if he would outright maliciously misgender MC, but since he would begin in a very bioessentialist place it wouldn’t be a smooth ride. So I wouldn’t be surprised if he would try to decide whether MC looks more like a girl or a boy and decide what pronouns to use from there. But I imagine it's more from a place of ignorance than understanding the gravity of that assumption and misidentification. Which is still some straight bullshit behavior from him but I am unfortunately attached and he's not real anyway. So it’s okay. We’ll work on it together ♡

Ironically, though, I think it could be easier for Cain to accept and process non-binary identities than to understand binary transness and homosexuality. Even though it's a much more abstract concept, there are likely fewer preconceived notions placed in his head about being non-binary by his family and his old church. There’s not really anything in the Bible specifically about non-binary people at all. So there isn’t exactly information outright condemning or dismissing that identity, other than its general lack of mention in reference to humans, and the Adam and Eve story. There is also this passage, Galatians 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus,” which could possibly help him understand. You might have to quote a lot of Bible passages at him 😭

I think you could be able to get him to understand using Public Universal Friend (American Preacher with Quaker Parents), but then he might start thinking some very strange things about you. He may also interpret MC’s identity as more spiritual than it necessarily might be, but I do think the leap into understanding might be smaller for him. I think he’d verbally adjust pretty quickly, but internally there would still be some issues going on for a while. But once you both get to a steadier platonic place together he might thaw out a bit, though his conditioning wouldn’t just magically vanish. He might even ask normal questions about it from time to time.

But then there’s Attraction Thrown into the Mix

I think here is where he would experience some (LOTS of) regression. Even if he’s largely reconciled the idea of non-binary, it’s been through a framework of “I’m doing my thing, you’re doing yours, (you sinful bastard /hj)” Not thinking MC’s business would affect him until now. Whoops!

Here is also where it could probably get really gritty with agabs, internalized homophobia, transphobia, and lots of uncomfortable subjects surrounding relationship dynamics and expectations. I think he may desperately try to convince himself being a cis guy with a non-binary person could be straight, but he also knows deep down the church would not really see it that way. And he might have some transphobic slips and “I wish you were a girl” moments regardless of MC’s agab. 

I think he might struggle in at least four ways, mixing and matching depending on MC’s identity as a whole:

An amab MC - he would end up invalidating them by reducing them to their agab and labelling the relationship as homosexual regardless if MC’s gender was fem aligned.

A masc or andro presenting n-b MC - feeling attraction to masculinity or just “non-femininity” would cause him inner homosexual turmoil. 

An afab MC - he would probably be bitter about the fact they transitioned, again reducing them to their agab, and would then project his transphobia onto them in that way.

A fem presenting n-b MC - there would be frustration about MC not being “a real girl,” and he would struggle with that. 

So he would not be having a good time, and in turn would absolutely make it everybody’s problem by starting fights or acting moody constantly. He’d be in his head about “who’s supposed to wear the pants,” and then also try to completely shut down any and all “sinful feelings” about MC. The waters are incredibly murky here, but I also don’t think Cain would entirely throw out MC’s non-binary identity while he’s struggling. He would still hold rooted bioessentialist ideas, but now they’re also mixed in with the understanding that MC doesn’t identify as a man or a woman. It would probably be a horribly confusing and distressing time for him, but also for MC because of the way he would project all of that onto them. 

And I also don’t think Cain initially wants to be experiencing any kind of attraction to anyone at all at the beginning of the game. Figuring out you like somebody, especially when you’re an incredibly repressed person can feel intrusive and violating, but it can also be mixed with this deep seated craving for someone to know you, love you, and give you some sort of anchor. So finding out he feels this way would be hard, and he also wouldn’t be able to help thinking it would be so much easier if MC were “just a girl.” And Cain doesn’t seem to know how to love someone in a healthy, non-obsessive and all consuming way so he would be tearing himself apart the whole time. I think he feels as if everyone around him can see how wrong and sinful he thinks he is and at the same time can’t help himself, craving things everyone he grew up around told him is condemnable. Like being told that taking a breath would be selfish. I don’t know if Cain would be able to resolve all of these feelings by himself, and he likely wouldn’t be directly expressing these emotions to MC (or confiding in anyone HELLO 😭). 

His attraction would fester, he would start acting rashly and probably become very push-and-pull with MC. One moment feeling completely unable to exist away from their vicinity and the next feeling sick to his stomach for being so weak. It’s a trial, or some kind of test. And he is failing miserably. I’m not sure how like… “crazy???” he would get? I don’t want to flanderize him as this obsessive evil yandere stereotype before we’ve seen cannon material about his behavior. But he would absolutely be a creepy little freak. I don’t think it's above him to “borrow” small things that won’t be missed, stare, actually internet stalk, maybe subtly brush against them from time to time, but I’m not certain how much further he would go yet. I think he would also attempt to reconcile the desire by trying to force things into Catholic Approved boxes, even if the “basis” of the hypothetical isn’t the traditional “man and wife.” He might have intrusive fantasies about marriage that dissolve into thinking about his parents' unhealthy dynamic. He’s not a subtle guy, and as long as he feels like nobody will notice, he will indulge in his “reprehensible” fantasies. The behavior almost feels like an addict itching for a fix, but desperately trying to hide it from their loved ones. He can lose himself in his sin in the privacy of hidden places and ask forgiveness from God later, but the moment it feels too tangible or he has a witness his fragile excuses crumble.

Possible Culmination Routes

Cain Confessing

Any confession from him I think would only slip out in the heat of the moment, when he thinks he is about to lose MC. There’s the humiliation of laying yourself bare, but then there’s the fear of losing something warm you think you’ll never experience ever again. It could feel almost life or death to him (or maybe it perhaps is literally a life or death situation, you never know). And since he is so unable to separate love from obsession it might feel like something is being ripped from his body. It would be incredibly messy and emotional from all sides. I don’t even know if it would occur to him that MC might give him an answer in that moment. In a scenario where MC would accept, I think it would be so jarring to him that everything around him would just vanish. He’s been so in his own head, self absorbedly stewing about this for weeks that it genuinely snaps him out of it to hear something that isn't from his own brain. And as an emotionally repressed person, I can tell you having a huge outburst and then getting stopped in your tracks is almost always immediately followed by a blanket of exhaustion. This would probably be a huge breaking point for him, a moment where he has to outright confront his faith, his sexuality, and his values. 

And I think everything would fall away, at least for a few moments while the gears in his head are still trying to spin. He’d be too scrambled to put together all of these new thoughts and realizations and might just thoughtlessly accept assurance from MC. Letting them help him slow down for a few moments. He would have to do lots of unpacking regarding religion, his family, accepting the fact he is a human and has feelings sometimes, so essentially he has to uproot his entire world to even begin getting to a place where he could actually be in a functional relationship with MC. It would still be far from perfect even after that though. There would be lots of contention, he would still need to resolve or at least work on internalized homophobia, externalized transphobia, his misogynistic tendencies, all of his prejudices 😭 not to mention the generalized unhealthy habits he would have in a romantic relationship. 

MC Confessing

I think this would be a quieter shutdown, but with everything simmering just beneath the surface. Cain would be taken aback, likely upset but not exactly sure at what or who. I’m viewing this scenario as a quiet moment where it's just the two of them somewhere, either checking a broadcast together or in one of their apartments. There’s likely been some sort of hurt tension brewing the last few weeks mixed in with romantically indulgent moments, and MC decides to just share their feelings plainly, in a way that's as low pressure as it could possibly be. Just trying to open a line of direct communication.

I lowkey think Cain might try to literally walk away 💀 or like, pretend he didn’t hear you 😭

(I have to admit I think this is my weakest subsection since I am not at all the kind of person to be forthcoming about my feelings. So I’m trying to put myself in Cain’s shoes here as opposed to MC’s.)

If the above strategies don’t work (or he thinks better of them 💀) I think he would move to his faith; “It’s sinful,” “I’m not homosexual,” “It wouldn’t be a valid marriage,” then trying to discourage the idea bringing up the fleeting nature of human connection. “Everything ends,” “It’s just ephemeral, it's not productive to feel like that,” and he could probably go on and on and on since that’s how he’s been talking to himself for weeks. All of his reasons involve anything but his actual wants. You would both wind up in circles until the discussion stops being a discussion reaches a boiling point. And here I think Cain would retreat into himself and walk away.

There would be absolute radio silence on the forum, on his cell number, but ignoring MC would be eating him alive. Being holed up in his apartment wouldn’t feel the same as before after having a taste of what companionship felt like. I don’t think it would be a quiet numbness, it would be a loud, screeching hollow feeling he can’t expel from his chest. And he would eventually break. I’m not sure how he would eventually come crawling back. I could see him doing anything from sending a cryptic message over the forum PMs to just straight up banging on your door demanding to be let in. He knows it’s wrong, he feels like he's committing an act of sin by crumbling in the face of temptation. But he goes back to them despite himself. 

I’m not exactly sure how the proceeding conversation would go… it could be a tense, hurt and angry confrontation. Or he might break down and try asking MC for forgiveness. The only thing I’m relatively confident about is that it would be a really heavy and volatile interaction.

Evil Third Option: Unlabeled Situationship

Cain would still be having all of these sour feelings about his unwanted attraction. But in this situation we have an MC that kinda pokes and prods Cain’s boundaries while refusing to confess first. And Cain finds that he likes the way the back and forth feels a little too much. He knows he shouldn’t be indulging in these fleeting, sinful interactions. One moment they’re arguing, Cain says something intentionally hurtful, and then feels guilty but refuses to apologize since he thinks pushing them away is for the greater good. But he always crawls back, and so does MC.

Certain specifics of the tension would greatly depend on how much MC gives Cain a taste of his own medicine. If MC is less confrontational, I could see the whole relationship simmering with resentment, quiet, unresolved hurt, on and off silent treatments. Lots of wordless apologies from Cain for throwing things in MC’s face. But if MC is a bit more intense, I could maybe see at least one argument dissolving into a homoerotic fist fight. But every single time both parties can’t seem to just quit with each other. Altercations are brushed off when other people ask about it, and they’re barely even mentioned when it's just the two of them.

I’m not sure how “involved” Cain would allow himself to be with MC in this scenario. I think it depends almost entirely on how forward MC is with what they want from Cain. But generally I think the most “romantic” thing you would be getting out of him is fleeting physical touches in private and tense cafe visits. I’m sure Cain would be trying to find plenty of excuses to be around MC though, maybe inviting them to certain “haunted” locations at night, asking them to give their input on a broadcast he caught, trying to get some one on one moments. And then he’d feel gross about himself and retreat.

I think that this dynamic would culminate in an argument, which could be sparked by anything. But a fun idea could be that one party tries to kiss the other in the heat of the moment, and it explodes from there. Kind of a combination between the above two subsections, but this is definitely a much broader dynamic that really depends on MC’s behavior.

Cain Figuring Out How to be Regular 

So… Cain is eventually convinced to enter a relationship, let alone a non-heterosexual one. He would still be horrible at making sense of his feelings. Worst person on the planet.

Again, the fact that MC isn’t a woman absolutely does not prevent him from projecting misogynistic ideas onto MC in a committed relationship (he will find a way). Cain is a very insecure person who I imagine is distrustful and not able to let people in. Appearing weak is just something that’s “not allowed” in his mind. Since he definitely views women as weak, I think a consequence of that would be him trying really hard to be the “man one” in the relationship. He would have a hard time opening up, receiving care and comfort, and it would be like pulling teeth to get him to ask for help. He feels as though it would lose him respect if he were to let MC take a more leading role in their relationship, and that’s something he will need to deconstruct and work on. 

Affection and touch would also be incredibly challenging for him. Because the thing is that he doesn’t hate touch, he seems to deeply crave that sort of connection but he feels ashamed and also fearful of it (Mari tumblr post… about MC who falls asleep on their partner… u should go read it). I think he’s embarrassed of asking, and has anxieties about putting himself in the vulnerable position of possible rejection. So if he just pretends he doesn’t need it the feeling will totally go away…

But even though he does seem to want touch, badly, if you’ve been starved for it for years and years it can be kind of overwhelming and upsetting to be touched. In my own experience, my nerves also just got incredibly sensitive to being touched by another person, so it's much easier to be startled, have a “bad looking” reaction to being touched, or just get more overwhelmed with it. I’ve nearly jumped out of my skin when people tap me on the shoulder, I’ve almost hit my friend when they’ve accidentally brushed my side, etc etc. It’s a really weird way to experience the world. And I don’t think Cain has the words to really describe this contradictory feeling, where, yes you want to be touched but it's also a little uncomfortable. So it would be a very slow journey toward acclimating him and reassuring that those two feelings can be true at once.