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@iomediadesign

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Hi! Just a genuine question, I was curious as to why you dislike the Rainbow Fish?
Because Rainbow Fish can be retold like this:Â
A fish has a part of their body - their physical, incarnate body, what they were born with - that makes them very happy and that they are very proud of. They also have an unfortunate habit of thinking that they are better than other fish. That part isnât good, and causes the other fish to be unhappy with them and avoid them.Â
The fish is now very sad. The only person who likes the fish anymore tells him to go to the octopus, the animal framed as the adult in the story.Â
The octopus tells the rainbow fish that they have been a snotty jerk and that the only way to make people like them again is to take off their scales and give them away. That in order to have any friends and make up for their behaviour, they have to rip off pieces of their own body and self and give them away to other people to make the other people happy and make up for their transgressions.Â
And the rainbow fish is upset. And then another fish comes and asks them for a scale. And the rainbow fish takes off a piece of themself, their body, the thing they were born into, and gives it away. And now that fish likes him, and is materially benefitted by this piece of another fishâs actual body that has been given to it.Â
And then the other fish come, and the rainbow fish rips off more parts of its body - all of the parts that used to make it happy and that it was proud of - and gives them to the other fish, because itâs not fair that the rainbow fishâs body was so much nicer. And when the rainbow fish has ripped all but one scale off, tearing out of themself all but one of the things that they possessed in their self that made them happy, then all the fish are friends with them! And everything is great! And everyone has a fair share.Â
Of the rainbow fishâs, and I do quite mean to keep hammering this point, own body.
What the book says is:Â
1. if you are born with something nice - like, for instance, an attractive body or a clever mind or a talent or whatever - and it makes you happy and proud, you are a horrible person and deserve to be shunned. Absolutely no line is ever drawn between Rainbow Fishâs self, their actual own body, and their behaviour. In reality, itâs their behaviour thatâs the problem: they are mean and aloof to the other fish. This could be the case whether or not their body was all covered with magnificent scales. However, the book absolutely conflates the two: their behaviour is framed as a natural and unavoidable outcome of being happy about and proud of their special, beautiful body. So donât you dare ever be happy or proud of anything you have or can do that everyone else doesnât have exactly the same amount as, because if you do, you are horrible and by definition snotty, stuck up and mean.Â
2. That in order to make up for the transgression of having something about your actual self that makes you happy and proud (which, remember, has automatically made you selfish and snobby, because thatâs what happens), you must rip pieces of what makes you happy out of yourself and give them to other people for the asking, and you must never ever EVER have more of that part of - again, I hate to belabour except I donât - your self than other people have, and that makes you a good person that people like and who deserves friends.Â
To summarize, then: to be a good person you must never have something about yourself that makes you happy and proud and if you happen to be born with that something you must absolutely find a way to give it away to other people and remove it from yourself, right up to tearing off pieces of your body, in order to be a good person who deserves friends.Â
This, I am absolutely sure, is not what the author intended: the author definitely meant it to be a story about sharing versus not sharing. But the author then used, as their allegory/metaphor, the fishâs own actual body. Their self. It was not about sharing shiny rocks that the rainbow fish had gathered up for himself. It wasnât even about the fish teaching other fish how to do something, or where to find something.Â
The metaphor/allegory used is the fishâs literal. body. And so the message is: other people have rights to you. Other people have the right to demand you, yourself, your body, pieces of you, in a way that makes absolutely sure that you have no more of anything about your body and self that is considered âgoodâ than they do.Â
And that might just suck a little bit except, hah, so: Gifted adult, here. Identified as a Gifted child.Â
This is what Gifted children are told, constantly. All the fucking time.Â
(Okay, I overstate. I am sure - at least I fucking HOPE - that particularly by this time there are Gifted children coming to adulthood who did not run into this pathology over and over and over and over again. I havenât met any of them, though, and I have met a lot of Gifted adults who were identified as Gifted as children.)Â
Instead of being told whatâs actually a problem with our behaviour (that weâre being mean, or controlling, or putting other people down), or - heavens forfend - the other children being told that us being better at something doesnât actually mean moral superiority and is totally okay and not something we should be attacked for, we are told: theyâre jealous of you. Thatâs the problem.Â
Instead of being taught any way to be happy about our accomplishments and talents that does not also stop the talents and accomplishments of other children - whatever those are! - from being celebrated, we are left with two choices: to be pleased with what we can do, or what we are, or to never, ever make anyone feel bad by being able to do things they canât. And the first option also comes with two options: either you really ARE superior to them because you have skills, abilities and talents they donât (or are prettier), or you are a HORRIBLE stuck up monster for feeling that way.Â
(It is not uncommon for Gifted kids to chose either side, which means itâs not uncommon for them to choose âokay fine I really AM better than youâ; this can often be summarized as âintent on sticking their noses in the air because everyone else is intent on rubbing them in the dirtâ; on the other hand I have met a lot of Gifted women, particularly*, who cannot actually contemplate the idea of being Gifted because to do so is to immediately imply that they are somehow of more moral or human worth than someone else and this means they are HORRIBLE HORRIBLE SELFISH PEOPLE, and so will find literally any reason at all that their accomplishments are not accomplishments or that they donât deserve anything for them.)Â
Instead of being given any kind of autonomy or ownership of ourselves, we are loaded down by other peopleâs expectations: we are told that because we can accomplish more we must, and that daring not to do what other people want to the extent that they want with what we are capable of we are selfish, slackers, lazy, whatever. We are taught that we owe other people - our parents, our friends, even The World - excellence, the very best we can possibly do, and trust me when I say people are ALWAYS insisting We Could Do Better. And we should, or else we will be disappointing them, or letting them down, because (because we are Gifted) the only reason we could possibly be failing is not trying hard enough.Â
We are, in fact, told over and over and over and over again, to rip off pieces of ourselves to give to other people to make them happy, because those pieces are valuable, but forbidden from enjoying the value of those pieces - pieces of our selves - for our own sake because that would be selfish and arrogant. And we owe this, because we were born a particular way.Â
Because, metaphorically, we were born with rainbow scales, so now we have to rip off those rainbow scales in the name of Sharing, and otherwise we are selfish and horrible and deserve to be alone.**Â
That is why I fucking hate The Rainbow Fish.Â
Because whatever the author INTENDED, the metaphor they chose, the allegory they picked, means that THAT is the story they actually told. (And is the story that child after child after child after child I have encountered actually takes from it.) I donât hate the author; Iâm not even mad at them. But I do hate the book with a fiery passion, and it is among the books I will literally rip apart rather than allow in my house when I have kids, because Iâm not going to give it to anyone ELSEâs kid either.Â
*but, I would like to note, not UNIQUELY: this is something I encounter in Gifted men as well.Â
**I canât remember who it was, in relation to this, put forward the thought: if people actually talked about the access and use of childrenâs bodies the way we talk about access to and use of Gifted childrenâs minds and talentsâ , the abusiveness would be absolutely clear? But theyâre right.Â
â because sometimes it is Gifted childrenâs bodies in an abstract way, in that its their talent for gymnastics or their talent for ballet or sport or whatever, so I mean in a very raw way, the actual physical embodied flesh we are.Â

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Didn't stay up for the eclipse but I wanted to capture the full moon before I headed in. This is probably the clearest shot of the moon I have taken to date.
Island Adventures with the Little Lady
Zoo Adventures
THIS đđťđđťđđťđđťđđťđđť
The point of public transit is that it serves as a public service. Public services should be free and paid for by government fully. The over reliance on fare revenues is one of the key factors in the poor Maintenance and reliability on our systems. Public transit like Metros, Light rails, Trams, Busses and Commuter rails should be free and we shouldn't arrest people for fare evasion
DeathâZu Orzu

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As someone who took etiquette lessons, politeness is an incredibly effective tool for disarming bigots. You can either force them to reconsider their words/actions by directly and calmly confronting their behavior (by using the rules of society in your favor), or you can dip entirely while they appear to be in the wrong.
Both options are great.
Because the thing is, when bigots pick fights, they are 100% counting on you to get louder than them. Or meaner. They want you to react emotionally and provide fodder for their 'You're Too Emotionally Immature To Understand' cannon.
What they aren't expecting you to do is say one of the following phrases in a polite, concerned tone:
Are you okay?
That's not the kind of language I was raised to use with others.
Do you need a moment to think on why that wasn't acceptable?
This is no way to engage in intelligent conversation. Please try that again in a kinder tone if you'd like this to continue. (I really like this one because it lets you turn their public-shame rhetoric around)
For those of you who'd are spiteful and/or dealing with Fundamentalists/Evangelicals/generally shitty Christians:
What's happening in your life to cause you this much anger? I can't imagine hurting so badly that I need to hurt other people.
Who taught you it was acceptable to treat other people this way? Certainly not the Jesus I remember.
Whatever happened to 'judge not lest ye be judged'?
If I talked like that in front of my parents or grandparents I would be ashamed.
I think there's something you need to pray on before we try and have this conversation.
And my all time favorite:
"It sounds to me like there are some seriously dark and angry forces at work in your heart."
(Nothing stops a Christian bigot in their tracks faster than implying the Devil is causing their bigotry. But you MUST be calm, polite, and gentle with your tone and wording. It is absolutely fair to twist the rules and play them at their own game, but you gotta play hard.)
TLDR: It's much faster to use etiquette, politeness, and rhetoric reversal when eviscerating idiots online and in person, because they aren't expecting you to weaponize their behaviors back in their direction. Don't get angry, get spitefully polite! :)
We need HOAs or some idiots will paint their house purple or put tractor tires in their front yard. If you want tractor tires, donât move to a HOA neighborhood.
I couldnât even fathom how horrifying it must be to live somewhere there are...purple houses and and yucky stuff in peopleâs yards. Thank God I donât have any real problems like that.
listen my Nonna and Nonno live right by a purple house (itâs a nice lilac) and as a kid I was fucking obsessed with it because purple is my favorite color. Iâd go nuts whenever we passed by it. Also it had a purple mailbox to match and it blew my mind.
No more HOAs. More purple houses.
imagine trying to control what someone else can do with or on their own property just because you don't agree with their taste in decor
NO MORE HOAs MORE PURPLE HOUSES
Related, becuase I just had to move:Â âjust donât move into an HOAâ Do you know what a PAIN IN THE ASS it is to find NON-HOA Housing? Very nearly everything in the CO front range that isnât a rental has an HOA these days!
Short list of the Shit the HOA at my pervious house tried to pull:
Banning personal and community food gardens (The reason the tag for my garden is âThe garden of earthly HOA violationsâ)
Banning people from using thier personal yards as Native Plant Restoration microzones, something that looks gorgeous and is extremely helpful to the local ecology
trying to get the city council to remove protections on adjacent city Open Space/Native Plant restoration zone so they could mow it.
mandating the use of ONE landscaping company in the neighborhood, coinicdentally owned by the HOA presidentâs son
Mandating the use of an unecessary water purification company on all properties.
suing city animal control for collecting lose dogs and cats and returning them to the addresses on thier collars. You know. that thing animal control does so the animals donât get run over or disemboweled by the coyotes or catch and spread rabies. The thing thatâs illegal to let your pet do out here for those reasons Karen.
Suing the city council to remove a city bus stop in the neighborhood that was heavily used by many residents. They damn near got away with it becuase the HOA meetings were always in the middle of the day on a weekday. You know, when the residents that use that stop are working.
Sending people letters threatening to fine them for having âOut Of Seasonâ holiday decor. Specifically targeting my Indian neighbors who were celebrating Diwali, not Christmas and the Jews with visible Menorahs.
Fining people for doing thier own appliance and car repair on thier own personal property
Fining people for operating a business out of thier house, specifically targeting a disabled neighbor that does comission tailoring and garment repair out of her home. never bothered a soul except the one snoopy bitch who didnât like that her clients were allowed to park in the tailorâs designated and otherwise unused parking space.
Trying to fine a neighbor for flying a Pride Flag
HOAs are invasive, bigoted, corrupt and cruel institutions that should never have been allowed to be created. If you live in and HOA area, showing up at the meetings to tell people what the fuck is wrong with them, Joining your HOA board to protect your neighbors and possibly organize the dissolution of the HOA is one of the best things you can do to protect the marginalized members of your community.
FUCK HOAs AND LONG LIVE THE PURPLE HOUSES AND TRACTOR-TIRE GARDENS OF THE WORLD.
Are y'all telling me this shit is actually LEGAL?
Hereâs how to get an HOA to leave you and your purple house tf alone
cant stop thinking about this post. đ
direct action
HOAs, IN THEORY, could be such a force for public good, and thatâs whatâs maddening. Imagine if an HOA was like âwell weâve got all these houses and this one empty lot, pay your HOA dues and we can install a community food garden!â or âleave your contact information on the HOA residents-only webpage if youâre willing to be an after-school dropoff for children in our community who may not have a parent at homeâ or âhi, Sally, weâve noticed your yardâs gone rather hogwild and things werenât like that before your husband passed last year, do you need some help? We have some folks in the HOA who can help you with maintenance, no charge.â
Instead they choose isolation over community in the name of a unity thatâs in image only, and thatâs really, really sad.
Friend of mine bought a small house, an old one in an old neighborhood. She had no idea it was an HOA neighborhood until the day she moved in. They arrived with paperwork she "had" to sign or things would get "complicated", aka do this or we're gonna make life hell for you. She immediately told them no, she has no desire to be part of the HOA, and they about blew a gasket. Went from civil to wtf real quick. They tried sending her violation reports, demanded she pay fines, threatened her, etc. What they didn't know is she's petty and gives zero fucks. She also lives keeping paperwork nice and tidy.
Shit hit the fan when she installed a wall around her property. A 3 feet tall 2 foot wide wall around her yard. Topped with gorgeous iron work with sharp points that make climbing dangeous. Think Addams Family Lite. They tried to stop the construction because she was using the /wrong/ company (a mutual aid group she worked with). Send her fines and fees, and made the mistake of sending a copy of the HOA contract with a forged signature.
Ooooo...it got so ugly! She remembered the HOA post here about that happening to others and, well, the HOA broke up because of other fuckery on top of this. But it was mostly due to her dragging them in court for fraud, harassment, disturbing the peace, trespassing, stalking, and a few other things. She was petty about it too, looked into every fucking thing she could to destroy them.
I was informed that you not, in fact, obligated to sign the HOA contract. It's not a legal requirement. When you look for a home, make sure to ask about the possible HOAs, and look at the details of your homeowner's contract. Sometimes HOAs have that shit written into the purchase. If you see it, change the contract, put your initials and date in the changed sections, and see how the real estate agent handles in. This is legal, btw.
Don't sign the HOA contract, learn the laws regarding yard stuff (did you know you can apply to have your yard declared a wildlife reserve?), and be petty af when the nosy neighbors won't mind their business.
Fuck HOAs, long live the purple houses with the tractor tire garden!
Bat houses are legal to install everywhere in the US, and once installed, many cannot be removed due to the endangered status of the bats which often inhabit them. Check your local regulations.
I just want to take a moment to say to all the purple house haters, from the bottom of my cunt:
FUCK YOU! I LIVE HERE!!!
Cry harder, baby!!!
Fuck HOAs! Long live purple houses!!
The dangers and troubles of being a panda zookeeper.
LET! THEM! IN! THE! BASKET!!!!!
This poor woman is just trying to clean the leaves. #allpandas.
if youâre having a rough night, watch this. trust me.
Theyâre almost as bad as cats
Theyâre like badass kidsđđđ
âRake the leaves they said
It would be easy they saidâ
âWhat about the SOUSâs?â
âSkulltulaâs of unusual size? I donât think they exist.â

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Culture Stigma on Mental Illness
Hi everyone,Â
My partner was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia back in 2002. He took his medication as prescribed and function like an average person for five years. Then one day, I happened to come across a computer screen. He was composing a letter to President Bush, telling the former president to stop sending the FBI to spied on him and threatened his life. I took him to see his psychiatrist. He had not taken his medications in several months, because âPresident Bush told the FBI to poison it with rat poisoning, I flushed it down the toilet.â Itâs a roller coast; he would stop taking his medication when feeling better and saying, âI not taking it, I do not have a problem. I am not crazy. He and his FBI did this to me. They have a camera in here and listening to us.â
Keep reading
This is not just Asian culture but Hispanic culture as well. A mentally ill man is seen as weak and a drain on the community, despite Hispanic males being more prone to depression and suicide than white American males.