It isn't just tinkering for me

❝ Look, I don’t claim to be a saint, all right? ❞  

❝ I can’t afford therapy, so I tell my secrets to the bottom of the bottle. ❞  

❝ I’m f–fine, I only had a couple’a drinks. I can make it home on my own! ❞ 

❝ Fuck, shut the lights off, they hurt. ❞  

❝ What’s better than forgetting your problems, and who cares how I do it? ❞  

❝ Don’t you god damn judge me, okay? ❞  

❝ Put your fucking hands up. ❞ 

❝ I’m not hurting anyone but myself. ❞   

❝ I’m allowed this outlet, okay? So what if I like sex, letting people hurt me? No one’s in danger. ❞ 

❝ I didn’t save them. I saved myself. ❞   

❝ I let them take the blame for it, all because I was afraid. ❞   

❝ I’m not a good person. ❞ 

❝ Do you want to get hurt? ❞ 

❝ What, are you gonna rat me out? ❞ 

❝ It’s just a few things, no one will notice I stole them. ❞ 

❝ I only wanted to try it. ❞   

                                              - STARTERS -

as requested. Feel free to change pronouns or anything else !

“Don’t you hurt a single hair on his/her/their head.”

“Hands off!”

“What do you think you’re doing to him/her/them?”

“I’ll never let you go.” / “Don’t ever let me go.”

“Don’t ever leave my sight again.”

“I got your back.”

“Where are you going? It’s not safe out there!”

“Do you trust me?”

“Be more careful next time. I don’t want to bandage you up again.”

“Hey, it’s cold outside. At least wear a jacket.”

“I’d die for you.”

“You’ll back off if you know what’s good for you.”

“Get behind me NOW.”

“Here, I have an extra weapon.”

“Duck, you idiot!”

“Go on without me.”

“Well what did you expect would happen while you’re walking alone at night? Come on, let’s get you away from that creep.”

“Hey. Pal. I’ve got a gun/knife/fist/weapon and I’m not afraid to use it.”

“You can stop hugging me now.”

“You scared the shit out of me. I’m never going to stop hugging you.”

“Quit babying me! I can protect myself.”

“I’ll always be there to save you.” / “I know you’ll always be there to save me.”

“If you even THINK about touching him/her/them, I’ll kill you.”

❝  flood will get you if the fire don’t.  ❞

❝  there ain’t a thing that you can do.  ❞

❝  it’s an old song.  ❞

❝  i’m the man who’s gonna marry you.  ❞

❝  i also play the lyre.  ❞

❝  i’ve met too many men like you.  ❞

❝  see the world? i’ll make it beautiful for you.  ❞

❝  are you always this confident?  ❞

❝  when you look at me, what do you see?  ❞

❝  lover tell me, if you can, who’s gonna buy the wedding bands?  ❞

❝  the sun is hot, so am i.  ❞

❝  i’m as free as a honeybee.  ❞

❝  what we have, we have to share.  ❞

❝  i’ll give you a song for free, ‘cuz that’s how life oughta be.  ❞

❝  he could make you see how the world could be, in spite of the way that it is.  ❞

❝  i was alone so long i didn’t even know that i was lonely.  ❞

❝  this is how it’s always been.  ❞

❝  all i’ve ever known is how to hold my own.  ❞

❝  i wanna hold you.  ❞

❝  takes a lot of medicine to make it through the wintertime.  ❞

❝  everybody’s hungry, everybody’s tired.  ❞

❝  kinda makes you wonder how it feels.  ❞

❝  if you wanna keep your head, you gotta keep your head low.  ❞

❝  in the coldest time of year, why is it so hot down here?  ❞

❝  it ain’t right and it ain’t natural.  ❞

❝  i recall there was a time we were happy, you and i.  ❞

❝  everything i do, i do it for the love of you.  ❞

❝  if you don’t even want my love, i’ll give it to someone who does.  ❞

❝  hey, little songbird, gimme a song.  ❞

❝  i wanna lie down forever.  ❞

❝  weren’t we birds of a feather?  ❞

❝  help yourself, to hell with the rest. even the one who loves you best.  ❞

❝  ain’t nobody but yourself to trust.  ❞

❝  aim for the heart, shoot to kill. if you don’t do it then the other one will.  ❞

❝  cast your eyes to heaven, you get a knife in the back.  ❞

❝  wouldn’t you have done the same?  ❞

❝  wait for me, i’m coming with you.  ❞

❝  when’s the last time you saw the sky?  ❞

❝  wipe away your tears.  ❞

❝  you sell your soul, you get your due.  ❞

❝  but don’t you see? it’s different with me.  ❞

❝  there must be some mistake!  ❞

❝  it was a mistake, alright. and now you gotta pay for it, for the rest of your life.  ❞

❝  a lot can happen behind closed doors.  ❞

❝  is anybody listening?  ❞

❝  nothing can wake me now.  ❞

❝  why are you getting on your knees?  ❞

❝  i’m asking you to marry me. marry me, say ‘i do’. i came all this way to ask you to.  ❞

❝  the two of us, you and me. that’s how it would have been, if the world was different.  ❞

❝  it ain’t no use; you’re bound to lose.  ❞

❝  is it true what they say?  ❞

❝  how long have we been married?  ❞

❝  i don’t mind if you look at other girls now and then.  ❞

❝  how does the sun even fit in the sky?  ❞

❝  love is not a gilded cage.  ❞

❝  soldier on and then the war will bring us peace.  ❞

❝  the heart of a man is a simple one.  ❞

❝  gotta think quick, gotta save face.  ❞

❝  what you gonna do now?  ❞

❝  men are fools, men are frail. give them the rope and they’ll hang themselves.  ❞

❝  with his kiss, the riot starts.  ❞

❝  you said that you would stay with me.  ❞

❝  can’t promise you fair sky above. can’t promise you kind road below. but i’ll walk with you, my love, any way the wind blows.  ❞

❝  just keep singing.  ❞

❝  the coldest night of the coldest year comes right before the spring.  ❞

❝  doubt comes in and my heart falters.  ❞

❝  you’re early.  ❞

❝  i missed you.  ❞

change genders as needed!

“I was hoping we could talk.”

“I could create such desires if I wished, but it is far easier to nurture those which already exist.”

“You’ll hardly find my services “standard”.“

“That’s right. Once you’re numb, you’ll do anything I ask.”

“We’ve lost it all. Everything your father and I built.”

“Those elves you’re friends with, they’re… Rather strange, aren’t they?”

“My little boy/little girl has grown so strong. I love you. You’ve always made me proud.”

“The people fear what we can do, but to use that fear to bludgeon us into submission is wrong! And they do it with our blessing!”

“I have made this place a sanctum of healing and salvation! Why do you threaten it?”

“Since when is Justice happy? Justice is righteous. Justice is hard.”

“The oppression of us stems from the fears of men. Not the will of the Maker.”

“I will not stand by and watch you treat us like criminals, while those who would lead us bow to their jailors!”

“I haven’t been on the surface very long, I keep thinking I’ll fall up into that sky any minute.”

“Killing my former brothers-in-arms is oddly satisfying.”

“I’d rather him alive and furious than dead and buried.“

“You should all be grateful!”

"Your kind think selfishness and want are normal. This city, all of it, leaves a bad taste.”

“Friend and enemy blend together in this sea of filth. I can barely discern one group from another.”

“Their actions are merely symptoms. Your society is the disease.”

“I have seen every vice and weakness of your kind, how few of you take responsibility.”

“We’re not killers or slavers. Anything short of that, however, is fair game.”

“I intend to take what you owe––––with interest.”

“A dangerous thing, taking sides. I avoid it wherever possible.”

“Ah my little _____, predictable as always.”

“ Do I detect a note of jealousy? It’s not surprising. The lad is rather skilled, isn’t he?”

“You weren’t always this way, _____. Once upon a time you had affection for me. I remember it fondly.

“What do I care what shield they carry? If they challenge us, the dead themselves will meet the call!”

"Zealots are bravest where their lies can’t be argued: behind closed doors.”

“I’m preparing for the worst. The very worst. This may require absorbent linens.”

“There are other ways to see the world.“

“If I offend, well—some people try very hard to be offended.”

“Shameful, isn’t it? How I don’t mindlessly repeat the mistakes of my father?”

“Death is never justice.”

“Eternity is long enough that we need not rush to meet it.”

“I cannot take sides.“

"I saw something nasty in the woodshed.”

“You smell like cinnamon buns.“

“Can I have some Salamanders, please?“

“One day the magic will come back. All of it. Everyone will be just like they were. The shadows will part, and the skies will open wide.“

“They know what I am. Let them come, if they find the courage.”

"What has magic touched that it doesn’t spoil?”

“Now the battle awaits us. Na via lerno victoria. ‘Only the living know victory.’ Fight well.”

“Am I supposed to forgive, no matter how many times they hunt me down? Am I supposed to forget all the things they’ve done to me?”

“You realize this is a cause you can’t hope to win.“

“Everything was fine until today!“

“I have… dreams. There are voices in the dreams. They ask me to come, to give shape to the Void around them.”

“Hurtled into the chaos, you fight… and the world will shake before you.”

“Is it fate or chance? I can never decide.”

“Regret is something I know well. Take care not to cling to it, to hold it so close that it poisons your soul.”

“We stand upon the precipice of change. The world fears the inevitable plummet into the abyss. Watch for that moment… and when it comes, do not hesitate to leap. It is only when you fall that you learn whether you can fly.”

“There is always a catch. Life is a catch! I suggest you catch it while you can.”

“It’s the only way…to hear the music.”

“I did not think any of us would leave those caverns alive.”

“You’re very brave. Take this, with my blessings. You remind me of someone…I hold dear, though I never had the courage to say that to her.”

“Felicitate me!”

“There are men who struggle against destiny, and yet achieve only an early grave. There are men who flee destiny, only to have it swallow them whole. And there are men who embrace destiny, and do not show their fear. These are the ones that change the world forever.”

“I’m sure someone thought far too long about my name.”

“When in doubt, run away, and let me handle it.”

“Something else I can help with?”

“Onward! There’s much to be done.”

“Next time, could we hunt something small and cuddly? Maybe vegetarian?”

“We do a lot of walking, don’t we?”

“I have an excellent sense of dramatic timing. And good hair.”

“They say your life flashes in front of your eyes before you die. Any helpful flashes yet?”

“Seems to me, the last man standing gets final say on who is right or wrong.”

“Anyone who leaves, is a deserter. And we all know what happens to deserters…”

“You better have a good reason for bothering me.”

“I don’t like it when people interrupt my thoughts.”

“Other people always took the risks to keep me free.”

“Maker’s breath! Can’t you do this when I’m not around?”

“You’re a far better representative of the family than I would have been.”

“It seems I am again in your debt… and shadow.”

“You soulless bastard!”

“If you have a problem with my brother/sister, you have a problem with me.”

“A hundred ways to run, and we choose backward.“

“I’d prefer to stay in this world as long as possible. And if I can make it an ordered place without looking like a zealot, all the better.”

“The world is a big place, but the faces are the same. We do right here, we make a difference.”

“There’s no escaping you, it seems.”

“I am a visionary. I’ve seen our destiny.“

“Our mistakes make us who we are.”

“Sailing is like sex. Do it wrong, and it’ll make you sick. But do it right, and there’s no feeling in the world like it.

"When you get right down to it, we’re not responsible for anyone but ourselves. You can choose to be free, or you can choose to be saddled with all the world’s problems.”

“I like big boats, I cannot lie.”

“Don’t bet anything you’re not prepared to lose.”

“You see, sweetness, men are only good for one thing. Women are good for six.”

“Shit. What have you gotten yourself into this time, _____?”

“Justice… answers to nobody!”

“Leave! This does not concern you!”

“Do not say his name! He will hear you! Do not wake him!”

“Me and my boys will get our money’s worth, bitch.”

“Need a little special something for that special someone?”

“Did you say something? I didn’t hear you. And clumsy me, I seem to have dropped a coin purse in your hand.”

“I’ll try not to hit anyone. On our side, I mean. I’m babbling again. Let’s go.”

“If anyone is to do any slaying, it will be me.”

“Would you hurry it up? I haven’t eaten all day…”

“We tried to be good! We did everything we were told!“

“You deny us our freedom so that you may sleep better at night, but I say it is a restless and undeserved slumber.”

“You push us into desperate acts, and then use that as justification to press ever further!”

“Start talking, _____. They tell me you’re good at it.”

“Bullshit! That’s not what really happened!”

“I’m not interested in stories. I came to hear the truth.”

“What makes you think I know the truth?”

“I hope you live a long life, _____, because your judgment before the Maker will be harsh.”

“We all have our strengths to exploit, mine is finding like-minded people.“

“I found her eyes, her skin, her delicate fingers… and at last, her face. Oh, this beautiful face.”

“I have chosen my path.”

“Your words did not fall on deaf ears.”

"How about ‘the smart-mouthed _____ gets slapped across the face’?”

“Oh, don’t be jealous, sweetie.“

“Let’s get you some experience, sweetie!”

“Why is this taking so long? Can ones so evil truly be so powerful? Maker, guide your humble servant! Please tell me what I must do! What if… I’m not doing the right thing? What if this is all madness? No! I must remain vigilant!”

“How does it feel, _____, to know I hold the life of one you love in my hands?”

“The job’s simple: break up the meeting and kill every one of those bastards.”

“There are few things in this world more powerful than a promise kept. Remember that.”

“There’s truth in your face. A rare thing in a human.”

“There is a light in your heart, human. Don’t let it go out. You will need it.”

“It has been a long, hard journey to this place. And it’s far from over.”

“Do you ever feel like you’re part of a story that someone’s telling? Maker, I wish whoever was telling the story had made me more handsome.

"When was the last time you were with a woman?”

“'I don’t like this’? That’s right up there with, 'What could possibly go wrong?’”

“There’s a recipe to a good hero, _____. It’s like alchemy. One part down-to-earth, one part selfless nobility, two parts crazy, and you season liberally with wild falsehoods. You let that percolate through a good audience for a while, and when it’s done, you’ve got your hero.”

“Once more I am falsely accused of whatever it is that I am accused of. Falsely.”

“_____, I’m a businessman. Now and then, I shoot people.”

“You should know by now that I love the sound of my own voice, _____.”

“What a mess of mud and blood. No resale value at all.”

“Protect what matters with everything you have, or you’ll have nothing, and deserve it.”

“They will not have you…not while I breathe.”

“Shout if you need me, _____. I’ll always be there for you. Just… knock first.”

change pronouns as needed! cw mature content

“You are called upon to submit yourself to the taint for the greater good.”

“Tis cold in my tent, all alone…”

“We have been given the gift of freedom by our forbearers. Let us not squander it.”

“Surely it has not escaped your notice that I am both armed and armored. Any fight between us would be rather one-sided.”

“Be careful what you wish for. Power is treacherous. I have seen many people–great leaders–consumed by it.”

“Nobility does not exist without obligation. We owe everything we have, even our lives, to our land and people.”

“Must we sacrifice everything good about our nation to save it?”

“There is nothing I would not do for my homeland.”

“Your fascination with glory and legends will be your undoing, _____. We must attend to reality.”

“Please, I have done… so much wrong. Allow me to do one last thing right.”

“That’s what I’m here for. To deliver unpleasant news and witty one-liners.”

“Nothing like a brush with death to make you… not like death much.”

“Just so you know, if the king ever asks me to put on a dress and dance the Remigold, I’m drawing the line.“

“Now that the warm and fuzzy part of the day is over we can get back to the ritual dismemberments. Oh wait, it’s not Tuesday is it?”

“Have you ever licked a lamp post in winter?”

“What? Lead? Me? No, no, no. No leading. Bad things happen when I lead. We get lost, people die, and the next thing you know I’m stranded somewhere without any pants.”

“Watch as I thrash our enemies with the mighty power of floral arrangements!“

“You’re the first woman/man/person I’ve ever spent the night with, and if I have my way you’ll be the last.“

“I love stories far too much to keep them to myself. Everyone should benefit from them, I think.”

“Oh, this looks fun! I bet we’ll have to work together and join hands and sing a happy song to get across!”

“The only way out of this game is to kill or be killed.”

“Change is coming to the world. Many fear change and will fight it with every fiber of their being. But sometimes, change is what they need the most. Sometimes, change is what sets them free.”

“You look upon the world around you and you think you know it well. I have smelled it as a wolf, listened as a cat, prowled shadows that you never dreamed existed.”

“Men are always willing to believe two things about a woman: one, that she is weak, and two, that she finds him attractive.”

“Now we threaten priests? How fun!”

“Some doors should never be re-opened.“

“’Tis a curious thing. I do not know how else to describe it.”

“If you’ve ever heard of me before, it’s probably all been about how I piss ale and murder little boys who look at me wrong. And that’s mostly true…”

“Misery, vomit and malt liquor. Ah, reminds me of home.”

“By the tits of my ancestors!”

“Shave my back and call me en elf!”

“I wish people wanted to share me more often. Especially the ladies. I want more ladies to share me.”

“Aye. I’ve tried twenty-seven different types of ale and learned I’m just the right height to give a human girl a good time. That doesn’t make me a good man.”

“I wonder what it is like to float…or drown.”

“Oooh, Shiny!”

“Now, let us crush something soft and watch it fountain blood. That is a girlish thing to want to do, yes?”

“So? What does it think? I don’t look any wider, do I? I find I am already too wide as it is.“

“Either you have an enviable memory, or a pitiable life, to know nothing of regret.”

“I am a simple creature. I like swords, I follow orders. What else is there to be puzzled by?”

“Happiness is fragile. Nothing can be built upon it that will last. Only duty endures.”

“Where is the cake? I was told there would be cake. The cake is a lie.”

“To be fooled by the world is unfortunate: By oneself, is deadly.”

“The enemy waits. Shall we grant him the death he asks of us?”

“I will not lie motionless in a bed with coverlets up to my chin, waiting for death to claim me.”

“I’m not the sort of person that leaves things unfinished. I’ll see this through, I promise.”

“You’d think one would find a less perilous place to explore.”

“People fear, not death, but having life taken from them. Many waste the life given to them, occupying themselves with things that do not matter. When the end comes, they say they did not have time enough to spend with loved ones, to fulfill dreams, to go on adventures they only talked about… But why should you fear death if you are happy with the life you have led, if you can look back on everything and say, ‘Yes, I am content. It is enough.’”

“Now that we’re in an intimate relationship I think maybe I should tell you where babies come from.”

“Love is ultimately selfish. It demands that one be devoted to a single person, who may fully occupy one’s mind and heart, to the exclusion of all else.”

“Planning has never been my strong suit. Now, killing…killing and love-making. Killing and love-making and witty retorts. Those I am better at.”

“Can you smell that? Like rotting flesh. Just like back in the City. Now if only you could find me a prostitute or two, a bowl of fish chowder and a corrupt politician, I’d really feel like I was home!”

“We all do our share of murdering around here, don’t we?”

“You tend to get up to interesting things. You meet interesting people and then you kill them. I’m game to tag along, if you are.”

“Let’s see… when was the last time I slipped my hand into some dark hole? Hmmm… I remember. Long story, that.”

“In truth, for the chance to be by your side I would storm the Dark City itself. Never doubt it.”

“We need absolute unity to fight against the fulcrum of true evil.”

“Your father made me swear on his deathbed you would not succeed him.”

“Kings, politics…all that is transitory.”

“Good to have you along the road.”

“Something you need? I’m sure either my boy or I can help you out.”

“Are you sure I can’t interest you in this hat? A pair of earrings perhaps? A cheese knife?”

“I hope your compassion hasn’t doomed us all.“

“She’ll put us all in the pot, she will. Just you watch.”

“I am a fly in the ointment. I am a whisper in the shadows. I am also an old, old woman. More than that you need not know.”

“You are required to do nothing, least of all believe. Shut one’s eyes tight or open one’s arms wide, either way, one’s a fool.”

“Be always aware… or is it oblivious? I can never remember.”

“Men’s hearts hold shadows darker than any tainted creature.”

“Weeks of scant food and water, the torture… oh, I’ve never felt better!“

“We should seize moments of levity, especially in troubled times.”

“Ah, I’m sure we’ll be at each other’s throats again in no time.”

“There is no glory in this!”

“I’m not a coward, but this is foolish and reckless. We should go back.”

“They’ll take everything that I am from me– my dreams, hopes, fears… My love for you. All gone…”

“Am I not allowed to have regrets?”

“I have known pain and love, hope and fear, all the joy that is life. Yet of all things I desire nothing more than an end.”

“I prefer to be known as a just and compassionate king. ‘Strong’ too often comes to mean ‘tyrannical’.”

“Maker spit on you… I deserved… more…”

“Well, well. You little spitfire. All grown up and still playing the man.”

“Be firm in your beliefs, protect people from their own ignorance, and be as loyal as you can to your brothers, even knowing that you’ll share their deaths.”

“Nothing you have done has prepared you for what you face now.”

“Oh…you mean, am I married? I…no. No, I’ve never had the pleasure. If I did, I’d be lucky to find a woman as lovely as yourself.”

“My retribution is eternal, spirit, as is my pain. This is justice, no more.”

“You, you seem like a smart sort.“

“I’ve got a job and you’re helping me.”

“Booze an’ adventure sounds about right!“

“Whoa, dizzy for a moment there… how’d I get here?“

"You should learn your place. Meek, subservient, quiet.”

“You’re a light in this dark place.”

“Girl, you are wonderful. Thank you.”

“Take my advice friend: stay away from Storytellers, never know what they’ll say…”

“Some of us don’t match the bard-spy fetish. Like me, pretending I know the lute.”

“We are always in battle. It is only that some of us do not always realize it.”

“Do you ever wish you could have the freedom to piss anywhere you wanted without being stared at?”

“Phew! Am I bleeding? Oh look, a rip in my clothes.”

“I’m not going to die am I!?”

“Why is everything so complicated!?”

“We’re alive!”

“_____, your pet is lecturing me again.”

“As a girl, I broke the fingers of those that poked me needlessly. Just saying.”

“I have a good feeling about this.”

❛  i  adore  living  alone,  it  feels  like  the  grown  up  thing  to  do!  ❜

❛  instead  of  feeling  like  i  live  by  myself,  i’m  actually  living  with  all  my  best  friends!  ❜

❛  what  do  you  think  of  my  whole  look  today?  ❜

❛  there  you  are!  i  need  my  fill  of  [  name  ]  every  now  and  then.  ❜

❛  i’m  surrounded  by  a  bunch  of  jokers!  ❜

❛  leave  me  alone!  i  want  to  be  by  myself  for  a  while!  ❜

❛  i feel  like  we  need  more  dancing  happening  right  now.  shoom!  okay,  that’s  a  little  better.  ❜

❛  all  my  natural  swagger,  probably  influenced  by  the  book.  ❜

❛  it’s  go  time  for  me  today!  ❜

❛  if  you  were  wondering  what  i’m doing  with  this  shovel,  it’s  none  of  your  business.  ❜

❛  i  haven’t  seen  you  in  a  while.  are  you  trying  to  hide  form  me  to  practice  your  sweet  dance  moves?  ❜

❛  no  …..  it  isn’t  a  school  day,  i  checked.  ❜

❛  uh,  i  am  the  alpha  male.  ❜

❛  so,  mr.  cool  cat,  will  you  listen  to  my  sad  tale  or  doom  and  gloom?  ❜

❛  blasted  monsters  stole  my  memory.  and  my  sandwich.  ❜

❛  what,  are  the  paparazzi  in  town?  because  i’m  totally  ready  for  my  close  up!  ❜

❛  i  love  having  this  plant  in  here  but  sometimes  i  have  the  urge  to  chew  on  it.  ❜

❛  you  should  try  to  travel  as  many  places  as  possible  while  you’re  young  because  when  you’re  older  your  priorities  change.  ❜

❛  i’m  here  today  to  eat  prunes  and  yell  at  kids  to  stay  off  the  lawn.  and  i’m  almost  out  of  prunes.  ❜

❛  do  you  ever  get  sad  when  an  old  memory  resurfaces?  it’s  funny,  even  a  good  memory  can  make  you  cry.  ❜

❛  of  course  we  try  to  forget  some  of  our  most  painful  memories,  but  there’s  always  one  lurking.  ❜

❛  it’s  good  to  live  in  the  moment  and  not  worry  too  much  about  the  past.  ❜

❛  i  need  a  down  comforter  and  a  wheelbarrow  full  of  popcorn.  ❜

❛  on  nice  days  i  like  to  make  a  picnic  and  nap!  i  mean,  that’s  pretty  much  what  i  do  at  home  anyway,  but  doing  it  outside  makes  it  feel  special.  ❜

❛  rumors  are  scary,  don’t  you  think?  ❜

❛  cinnamon  buns  aren’t  currency  …  not  yet,  anyway.  ❜

❛  gah!  ——-  nope,  i’m  still  sleeping.  ❜

❛  would  you  like  to  listen  to  my  manly  tale?  ❜

❛  had  to  be  ten  —  no,  fifty  pirates!  ❜

❛  i  put  together  a  self  depreciating  joke  and  a  pun.  height  of  comedy.  ❜

❛  please  don’t  make  me  explain  my  jokes.  ❜

❛  it  seems  my  ability  to  make  people  laugh  is  lost  to  the  cruel  mistress  of  the  sea.  ❜

❛  hard  to  believe  but  back  in  the  day  i  used  to  be  lean  and  mean.  ❜

❛  as  far  as  rumors  go,  that’s  not  half  bad.  i’ve  been  called  worse.  ❜

❛  in  a  way,  you’re  a  gentleman,  huh?  thanks  for  the  warning.  ❜

❛  if  i  may  be  so  bold,  you’re  looking  as  cool  as  a  fair  number  of  cucumbers.  ❜

“You. Rest. Now.”

“You took five steps and need to sit down again?”

“I’m absolutely fine, I just need to sit down.”

“I just need to sit-what do you mean I’m already laying down?”

“Your eyes aren’t focusing. Just close them for ten minutes.”

“Write one sentence on this piece of paper, and then I’ll let you up.”

“I just need a breather, that’s all. Maybe ten. No fifteen.”

“We’re both so exhausted we can’t even argue about not being exhausted.”

“When I said I needed five more minutes I meant it more like hours.”

“… no… I’m tired… let me sleep… I don’t want to get up.”

“We need to get out of the heat, you’re starting to look sick.”

“You can’t hide those shaking hands from me. You need to stop.”

“I’m just a little cold, I’m okay, really. Let me sit with a blanket or something.”

“Moving…? No I’m good thanks.”

“Gravity has a hold on me of which I have not the strength to break.”

“Was… was that actually there? That wasn’t there was it?”

“I’ve had no energy for three days.”

“You worked yourself so hard that you’ve been sentenced to three days of bed rest.”

“Listen I can… I can get up. It’s fine.”

“If we’re both in this state, we both really screwed up somewhere huh?”

“I have energy for exactly one more person of favourable standing, and going the hell to bed. With or without that person, bed is happening.”

“You’ve struggled to move anything for the last hour.”

“This is what happens when you over exert yourself.”

“You were almost dead from pushing it too far!”

CASTLE.

‘  sick of all these people talking.  ’ ‘  sick of all this noise.  ’ ‘  tired of all these cameras flashing.  ’ ‘  sick of being poised.  ’ ‘  my neck is open wide, begging for a fist around it.  ’ ‘  already choking on my pride.  ’ ‘  already choking on my pride, so there’s no use in crying about it.  ’ ‘  there’s no use in crying about it.  ’ ‘  they wanna make me their queen.  ’ ‘  i probably shouldn’t be so mean.  ’ ‘  i should probably keep my pretty mouth shut.  ’ ‘  sick of feeling used.  ’ ‘  if you wanna break these walls down, you’re gonna get bruised.  ’

HOLD ME DOWN.

‘  my demons are begging me to open up my mouth.  ’ ‘  they fight me, vigorous and angry.  ’ ‘  watch them pounce.  ’ ‘  ignite me.  ’ ’  i sold my soul to a three-piece.  ’ ‘  he told me i was holy.  ’ ‘  i sold my soul to a three-piece and he told me i was holy.  ’ ‘  he’s got me down on both knees, but it’s the devil that’s tryna hold me down.  ’ ‘  sneaking out the back door, make no sound.  ’ ‘  knock me out.  ’ ‘  i want more, this is what i live for.  ’ ‘  throw me in the deep end, watch me drown.  ’ ‘  selfish, taking what i want and call it mine.  ’ ‘  i’m helpless.  ’ ‘  i’m helpless clinging to a little bit of spine.  ’ ‘  they rush me, telling me i’m out of time.  ’

NEW AMERICANA.

‘  we were a community.  ’ ‘  they made me their leader when i never asked to be.  ’ ‘  the lightning in their eyes huddled me into whatever they needed me to become.  ’ ‘  we were hopeful we would win because nothing could scare us.  ’ ‘  we feared no man.  ’ ‘  turned dreams into an empire.  ’ ‘  survival of the richest.  ’ ‘  the city’s ours until the fall.  ’ ‘  we don’t feel like outsiders at all.  ’ ‘  we are the new americana.  ’ ‘  high on legal marijuana.  ’ ‘  some say he looks just like his father.  ’ ‘  he could never love somebody’s daughter.  ’ ‘  we know very well who we are.  ’ ‘  what kind of dough have you been spending?  ’ ‘  what kind of bubblegum have you been blowing lately?  ’

DRIVE.

‘  i can never keep my eyes off this.  ’ ‘  my neck, the feeling of your soft lips.  ’ ‘  all we do is drive.  ’ ‘  all we do is think about the feelings that we hide.  ’ ‘  all we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign.  ’ ‘  sick and full of pride.  ’ ‘  it never felt like home to me.  ’ ‘  hey, i was wondering if you wanna like… never mind.  ’ ‘  it’s bliss.  ’ ‘  it’s so simple, but we can’t stay.  ’ ‘  would it really kill you if we kissed?  ’

HURRICANE.

‘  i let him climb inside my body and held him captive in my kiss.  ’ ‘  there’s a storm you’re starting now.  ’ ‘  i’m a wanderess.  ’ ‘  i’m a one night stand.  ’ ‘  don’t belong to no city.  ’ ‘  don’t belong to no man.  ’ ‘  i’m the violence in the pouring rain.  ’ ‘  i’m a hurricane.  ’ ‘  i found myself reminded to keep you far away from me.  ’ ‘  baby, beggin’ you to save me.  ’ ‘  though lately, i like ‘em crazy.  ’ ‘  maybe you could devastate me.  ’ ‘  little lady, come and fade me.  ’

ROMAN HOLIDAY.

‘  do you remember the taste of my lips that night?  ’ ‘  i remember when my father put his fist through the wall.  ’ ‘  i remember the fear in your eyes.  ’ ‘  didn’t know where we were running to, but don’t look back.  ’ ‘  we know that we’re headstrong.  ’ ‘  our heart’s gone  ’ ‘  the timing’s never right.  ’ ‘  but for now, let’s get away.  ’ ‘  the timing’s never right, but for now let’s get away.  ’ ‘  i imagine the weight of your ribs if you lied between my hips in the backseat.  ’ ‘  i imagine the tears in your eyes.  ’ ‘  the very first night i’ll sleep without you.  ’ ‘  when it happens i’ll be miles away.  ’ ‘  didn’t know where i was running to, but i won’t look back.  ’ ‘  feet first, don’t fall.  ’ ‘  we’ll be running again.  ’ ‘  keep close, stand tall.  ’

GHOST.

‘  i’m searching for something that i can’t reach.  ’ ‘  i don’t like them innocent.  ’ ‘  i don’t want no face fresh.  ’ ‘  want them wearing leather.  ’ ‘  let me be your taste test.  ’ ‘  want them wearing leather, begging, let me be your taste test.   ’ ‘  i like the sad eyes, bad guys, mouth full of white lies.  ’ ‘  you say that you’re no good for me cause i’m always tugging at your sleeve.  ’ ‘  i swear i hate you when you leave.  ’ ‘  i swear i hate you when you leave, but i like it anyway.  ’ ‘  my ghost, where’d you go?  ’ ‘  i can’t find you in the body sleeping next to me.  ’ ‘  what happened to the soul that you used to be?  ’ ‘  you’re a rolling stone boy, never-sleep-alone boy.  ’ ‘  got a million numbers and they’re filling up your phone, boy.  ’ ‘  i’m off the deep end, sleeping all night through the weekend.  ’ ‘  i love him, but i know i’m gonna leave him.  ’

COLORS.

‘  your little brother never tells you but he loves you so.  ’ ‘  you’re only happy when your sorry head is filled with dope.  ’ ‘  i’ll hope you make it to the day you’re twenty-eight years old.  ’ ‘  you’re dripping like a saturated sunrise.  ’ ‘  you’re spilling like an overflowing sink.  ’ ‘  you’re ripped at every edge, but you’re a masterpiece.  ’ ‘  everything is blue.  ’ ‘  now i’m covered in the colors, pulled apart at the seams.  ’ ‘  everything is grey.  ’ ‘  he’s so devoid of color he don’t know what it means.  ’ ‘  you were a vision in the morning when the light came through.  ’ ‘  i know i’ve only felt religion when i’ve lied with you.  ’ ‘  you’ll never be forgiven till your boys are too.  ’ ‘  i’m still waking every morning, but it’s not with you.  ’ ‘  you were red and you liked me because i was blue.  ’ ‘  but you touched me and suddenly i was a lilac sky then you decided purple just wasn’t for you.  ’

STRANGE LOVE.

‘  everybody wants to know if we fucked on the bathroom sink.  ’ ‘  everybody wants to know how your hands felt in my hair.  ’ ‘  everybody wants to know if we were high on amphetamines.  ’ ‘  everybody wants to hear how we chain smoked until three.  ’ ‘  everybody wants to hear how you laughed when you said my name.  ’ ‘  everybody wants to hear how you gripped my hips so mean.  ’ ‘  we wrote a story in the fog on the windows that night.  ’ ‘  the ending is the same every damn time.  ’ ‘  they think i’m insane.  ’ ‘  they think my lover is strange.  ’ ‘  i don’t have to fucking tell them anything.  ’ ‘  i’m gonna write it all down.  ’ ‘  i don’t have to fucking tell you anything.  ’ ‘  that’s the beauty of a secret, you know you’re supposed to keep it.  ’ ‘  everybody’s waiting up to hear if i dare speak your name.  ’ ‘  everybody wants to know about how it felt to hear you scream.  ’ ‘  they know you walk like you’re a god.  ’ ‘  they can’t believe i made you weak.  ’ ‘  these days i can’t seem to get along with anyone.  ’ ‘  these days i can’t seem to make this right.  ’ ‘  well, is this fine? will i be alright?  ’

COMING DOWN.

‘  i found god.  ’ ‘  i found god, i found him in a lover.  ’ ‘  i found god, i found him in a lover when his hair falls in his face and his hands so cold they shake.  ’ ‘  i found the devil.  ’ ‘  i found the devil, i found him in a lover.  ’ ‘  i found the devil, i found him in a lover and his lips like tangerines in his color-coded speak.  ’ ‘  now we’re lost somewhere in outer space in a hotel where demons play.  ’ ‘  we roll around beneath these sheets.  ’ ‘  i’ve got a lover.  ’ ‘  i’ve got a lover, a love like religion.  ’ ‘  i’m such a fool for sacrifice.  ’ ‘  he’s coming down.  ’ ‘  i’ve got a lover and i’m unforgiven.  ’ ‘  i’m such a fool to pay this price.  ’ ‘  i found a martyr.  ’ ‘  i found a martyr, he told me i’d never with his educated eyes and his head between my thighs.  ’ ‘  i found a savior, i don’t think he remembers.  ’ ‘  he’s off to pay his crimes.  ’ ‘  he’s got no time for me.  ’ ‘  every single night pray the sun will rise.  ’ ‘  every single time make a compromise.  ’

HAUNTING.

‘  keep on haunting me.  ’ ‘  i was as pure as a river, but now i think i’m possessed.  ’ ‘  you put a fever inside me and i’ve been cold since you left.  ’ ‘  i’ve got a boyfriend now.  ’ ‘  i’ve got a boyfriend now and he’s made of gold.  ’ ‘  you’ve got your own mistakes.  ’ ‘  i’m hoping you could save me now.  ’ ‘  you’ve got a fire inside, but your heart’s so cold.  ’ ‘  i’ve done some things that i can’t speak.  ’ ‘  i’ve tried to wash you away, but you won’t leave.  ’ ‘  won’t you take a breath and dive in deep?  ’ ‘  i came here so you’d come for me.  ’ ‘  i’m begging you to keep on haunting me.  ’ ‘  i know you’re gonna keep on haunting me.  ’ ‘  you weren’t looking for me.  ’

GASOLINE.

‘  are you insane like me?  ’ ‘  have you been in pain like me?  ’ ‘  have you bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like me just pour that motherfucker down the drain like me?  ’ ‘  would you use your water bill to dry the stain like me?  ’ ‘  are you high enough without the mary jane like me?  ’ ‘  do you tear yourself apart to entertain like me?  ’ ‘  do the people whisper about you on the train like me?  ’ ‘  you shouldn’t waste your pretty face.  ’ ‘  you can’t wake up, this is not a dream.  ’ ‘  you’re part of a machine.  ’ ‘  you are not a human being.  ’ ‘  low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline.  ’ ‘  i think there’s a flaw in my code.  ’ ‘  these voices won’t leave me alone.  ’ ‘  my heart is gold.  ’ ‘  my hands are cold.  ’ ‘  my heart is gold and my hands are cold.  ’ ‘  are you deranged like me?  ’ ‘  are you strange like me?  ’ ‘  are you lighting matches just to swallow up the flame like me?  ’ ‘  do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me?  ’ ‘  you’ll never take the blame like me.  ’

CONTROL.

‘  they send me away.  ’ ‘  the house was awake, the shadows and monsters.  ’ ‘  the hallways, they echo like gold.  ’ ‘  i sat alone in bed till the morning.  ’ ‘  they’re coming for me.  ’ ‘  i tried to hold these secrets inside me.  ’ ‘  my mind’s like a deadly disease.  ’ ‘  i’m bigger than my body.  ’ ‘  i’m colder than this home.  ’ ‘  i’m meaner than my demons.  ’ ‘  i’m bigger than these bones.  ’ ‘  please stop, you’re scaring me.  ’ ‘  i can’t help this awful energy.  ’ ‘  goddamn right, you should be scared of me.  ’ ‘  who is in control?  ’ ‘  i paced around for hours on empty, i jumped at the slightest of sounds.  ’ ‘  i couldn’t stand the person inside me, i turned all the mirrors around.  ’ ‘  i turned all the mirrors around.  ’ ‘  i’m well acquainted with villains that live in my bed.  ’ ‘  they’ll never die when i’m dead.  ’

YOUNG GOD.

‘  baby girl, you know we’re gonna be legends.  ’ ‘  i’m a king and you’re a queen.  ’ ‘  we will stumble through heaven.  ’ ‘  if there’s a light at the end, it’s just the sun in your eyes.  ’ ‘  i know you wanna go to heaven, but you’re human tonight.  ’ ‘  do you feel like a young god?  ’ ‘  you know the two of us are just young gods.  ’ ‘  they’re running, running, running again.  ’ ‘  baby girl, don’t get cut on my edges.  ’ ‘  i’m the king of everything.  ’ ‘  my tongue is a weapon.  ’ ‘  there’s a light in the crack that’s separating your thighs.  ’ ‘  if you wanna go to heaven, you should fuck me tonight.  ’

BONUS: IS THERE SOMEWHERE.

‘  light up one and hand it over.  ’ ‘  rest your head upon my shoulder.  ’ ‘  i just wanna feel your lips against my skin.  ’ ‘  this is right where it begins.  ’ ‘  your lips hang heavy underneath me.  ’ ‘  i promised myself i wouldn’t let you complete me.  ’ ‘  i’m trying not to let it show that i don’t wanna let this go.  ’ ‘  i don’t wanna let this go.  ’ ‘  is there somewhere you can meet me?  ’ ‘  you clutched my brain and eased my ailing.  ’ ‘  your girl’s got red in her cheeks ‘cause we’re something she can’t see.  ’ ‘  you’re stuck in my brain.  ’ ‘  all i do is cry and complain because second’s not the same.  ’ ‘  all i do is cry and complain.  ’ ‘  second’s not the same.  ’ ‘  i’m sorry but i fell in love tonight.  ’ ‘  i didn’t mean to fall in love tonight.  ’ ‘  you’re looking like you fell in love tonight.  ’ ‘  could we pretend that we’re in love?  ’

BONUS: EMPTY GOLD.

‘  i must confess how hard i tried to breathe through the trees of loneliness.  ’ ‘  you must confess how hard you need to see through the heart beating out of my chest.  ’ ‘  feel like we’ve been falling down like those autumn leaves.  ’ ‘  baby, don’t let the winter come. don’t let our hearts freeze.  ’ ‘  if the morning light don’t steal your soul, we will walk away from empty gold.  ’ ‘  we’re the underdogs in this world alone.  ’ ‘  i’m a believer, got a fever running through my bones.  ’ ‘  they can throw their stones.  ’ ‘  they can’t break our hearts.  ’ ‘  they won’t take our souls.  ’

BONUS: TROUBLE.