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White blank floors and boring colored walls. An hospital is quite the something, isn't it? It's peaceful, though, like a place for just thoughts. All people who end up here just think or idly watch the TV while they wait for their death.
The guests are truly outsiders of this 'haven'. They're alive, well and warm and they're always too reckless to think much. They're so focused on their life that they just come here for condolences.
Having a coma is something that I never pictured myself in. I don't remember much, to be frank. I remember I was sad and then it all was just drowned out completely. I thought that comas would be a little more peaceful than this.
I met Michael yesterday. He didn't have his eyepatch on, so I could see his other eye. He was here for a long time, and for the whole time he was here- I just wondered why he isn't at work yet. The nurse got kind of angry when Michael reacted aggressively when she mentioned that visitor hours were over.
"He might wake up!"
I'm not sure when I'll wake up. I'm not even sure if I'll wake up at all. I can feel that I'm starting to lose a piece of myself and that my loud heart beats will just, stop. I'm kind of scared of that still. They expect me to be dead later tonight so the funeral will be held immediately on Christmas. How ironic, isn't it? I never liked Christmas in the first place.
I just wish I could tell those I love to be strong. I know Darrel didn't take it well, he was here and clutched onto my hand, crying and screaming a lot. Daniel is breaking, I know that. His eyes reflect a storm, a complete mess, but he puts on such a calm face.
There's a golden rule in our household, we take turns on who to be the supporter.
I can feel myself slipping away again. I think I'll have to stop here. I'll see you around.
,MMMM DIARY PAGE FOR DAISUKE AND MICHAEL MAYHAPS :3c
Dear diary, (Eughhhh)
Okay, I think I’ve got a syndrome called- I am terribly in love with my boyfriend!
Hear me out here, but he’s just so… He’s amazing. Waking up next to him is always a nice surprise, too. It’s like, every time I just have some sort physical contact with him I kinda just, wow.
God I’m gay.
Anyway, I… I don’t know what I’d do without him. He gives me… Hope, a lot of it, too. He helps me so much and makes me smile and. I love him, I do.
Sometimes, I’m a bit scared, too.
Daisuke has more friends than me, right? Doesn’t that mean there’s more chances of him getting like, picked up by others? I know I’m not the best and I’m surprised that he… He’s always with me and.
There seems to be some wet drops here and there… The black ink was smearing a little bit on this section.
I don’t make sense anymore. I need to check up on him.
/David
---
He’s dead.
Daisuke Sarutobi is dead.
….
I’ll never forget the smiles we had together. I’ll never forget the intimate moments, nor will I forget the times when you were there for me when I was the weakest.
I’m sorry that I was so focused on myself and my own problems that I didn’t even see you. I’m so sorry, Daisuke. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m s—
David must have cried a lot during this last part, as this part of the text was smeared and unreadable. Turning a page, the smeared ink continues, but it becomes gradually more readable.
I love you the most, Daisuke Sarutobi. That is something that will never change. Please forgive me for those sins I committed. Perhaps someday we’ll cross paths again and find each other in our arms.
I miss you so badly, Daisuke. I do, I really do. I’m sorry, I am, please understand.
I love you, Daisuke.
Je t’aime.
We’ll meet soon, okay? Promise.
And for michael u goddamn sadist.
Helloooo and good evening.
I think Daisuke is tired of me staying up and sitting like a huge nerd writing in a little book. He’s like, nooo turn the lights off. Cute.
Anyway uh, I just came home from the bar, so I’m a little drunk still. Sorry if future me can’t read my shitty drunk handwriting.
Michael had to be lead home and seeing Naoki stand there was quite the thriller movie. Michael was whining like nooo don’t leave me partner what the FUCK.
Silly.
Michael is.. cool, he’s nice. He’s like a sibling I’ve always wanted to have, but its like- not awkward. Anyway, we drink a lot and do embarrassing shit. I think at one point we even got so drunk we went to a karaoke place. Awwwwkarddddd.
Maybe Daisuke thinks I’m feeding my inner addiction, but uh, heeey, the alcohol is good and Michael is good and I’m more relaxed than ever.
Michael is a good guy. I’d do anything for him, honestly. I mean, I’d even die for him. I just want him to be alive and well, that’s all.
Wow okay, sappy much??? Sorry I’m drunk and I should sleep before Daisuke wakes up and hits me.
Gooooodnighty lightly.
/David
annnd
Michael, if you ever come across this diary of mine, please remember to just breathe.
I care about you. I’m sor r y for mes sing up and not being t—there. Please forgive me, alright?..
I’ll miss you, partner. Stay lucky and cool, okay? Don’t drink too much and… Just, live, okay? Okay. I’m sorry for this.
im on mobile so symbols hate me but does david have a page in his diary explaining his undeniable gay for ryuu???
Dear fucking diary,
I feel a little burned up today. (lol) (Im so thirsty rn im so angry)
Anyway, where do I fucking start. I need to write something about this guy but I mean, my mind is a LITTLE clouded by a lot of other things. (fFFUCKKK)
So this shithead was on a wanted poster once. I remember he was smiling as if it was a family photo, but eugh. God, I have always had an undying hate for criminals. (Exception being Hisoka, but blah)
Ryuu tachibanana.
Wait its ryuu tachibana right. god idfk.
He likes fire right so uh hey ryuu burn in hell why not. i dont know you or anything but uh?? HAHA think about what you do, i guess.
okay i need to get some water brb
and I'm back. So uhhh, Ryuu Tachibana... Yeah, I'm still... Kind of hunting after him, honestly. We'll see what the future holds. I know that the police department is busy af with it.
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Hello diary! Long time no see, EVEN MORE STUPID, DAVID.
Okay, hey. ( That's better. ) It's uhh...August or something.
I guess I should start writing in this diary thing. Daisuke was like, hey David, take this hoihoihoi. Stupid idiot. ( My stupid idiot. )
Anyway, I met Bebe today. She's so weird, but whatever. We just talked and then went on with our lives so...Huh. Oh my god, I remember when we got blogs and all she did was get jealous over my total BROMANCE with daisuke. ( Lol jk im fucking gay )
Uh... Anyway, for Christmas, I think I'll buy her a puppy. She likes dogs, right? So... Yeah.
Goal: Buy her a dog.
I'll get her a little dog, I think. A maltese, maybe. Do you think she'll like it? ( Why am I asking paper... I think im going insane, lol.)
Uhaha, okay, that's all. I'm gonna go and snuggle with the boyfriend now, haha.
>Beginning of dark times: A pact of what sorts now?
"...L-look, Darrel.. You know we need to... G-go eventually, right? His funeral will be held on Christmas."
".......W-what's the point of having it on Christmas, Daniel? Christmas is supposed to spend it with people you love. David isn't here anymore, s-so what's the point?!"
".......W-we have to.. S-stay strong, Darrel."
"Y-you say that as if you were a hero, Daniel. I know about it, you know. You've been in your room seeing mother, right? She's touched you, no? It made you scratch at yourself- as if you felt something crawling under your skin. This family is nothing anymore, Daniel."
"D-Darrel, p-please... I b-beg you... D-don't m-mention her.... P-please, just listen- W-we need to l-live for David n-now."
"You don't understand, Daniel! He's dead! He's fucking dead! Our brother is dead because we just didn't do anything! This family is dead, can't you see?! Our parents are dead and all of these kids that are our siblings are scattered all over the world! S-stop denying it, Daniel! Our family is and forever will be fucked up! So why don't we die too!?"
"It's n-nothing we could do, Darrel! Y-you know yourself that David had troubles that he could never get away from! You know very much that David can't h-hold onto life without Daisuke-san! Y-you know it- you saw it! You see it in his eyes, goddammit!
David Blanc has always been set on death! We could never have stopped him!"
"I know!... I know, okay?! I don't w-want to think that he's gone!... He c-can't be gone! He's... He's always there f-for me! W-when I got out of my room, he was there! He hugged me, cried and gave me these patches!
I can't live l-like this... K-knowing that my brother died regretful! P-people always thinks he's such a bad guy, b-but he's not!
So I'd r-rather commit suicide now! We'll do it t-together D-Daniel.
"So then... I suppose this is it, huh?... I guess I shouldn't rub salt into the wound too much, but, hehe.. I... I too have some words to say."
"...L-look, I....I'm r-really sorry, okay?.. A-and I'll... I'm not really sure w-where to begin. The amount of r-regrets I have is... It's a-a l-lot, but I!...P-please I..."
".. If there's something I've learned, h-hold the people you love close. If y-you see someone you love, hold onto them and... And never let go."
"Hehe.. It's... Haha, b-been a long ride, no? Hehehe, I'll miss this.. Ghk-- P-place! R-really.. I... Thank you.
I'm not a b-believer in heaven or h-hell, but... I'm sure this way- I'll meet him.. I'll g-get to say sorry to him, n-no?.. Hehehe, mm. I'm sorry, but it's.. been great.
Don't do stupid shit, okay? I don't w-want to rise from the dead and interrogate you or something s-stupid like that!
...
B-be... you. Be happy, okay? Please please, don't let t-this sadness consume you. This soon will also pass.
Dark times had fallen into the french family known as the Bridgeworths.
Daniel’s quiet mumbling faded into the dark. His crimson eyes shifting between his little brother and the portrait of Dominique, his deceased mother.
The curious glint in Darrel’s eye had faded ever since that incident. An incident that had killed, twisted and destroyed the order in the family. For the last couple of months, Darrel had forgotten himself. He had forgotten what truly makes him happy in the world and his life happiness- were long gone by now.
Darrel have been sitting on the couch near the fireplace, holding an orchid given by David. It was a gift, in fact. It seemed so simple, but yet it held so much meaning. David had easily explained to Darrel that he gave it to him due to Darrel’s lack of dedication to taking care of flowers.
"Orchids live for a long time and they’re low maintenance. Take care of it as if I were that flower."
Daniel sharply inhaled, running his fingers through his hair as he seemed to struggle to find the right words. His lips were dry, his body freezing and his mind wouldn’t stop chanting David’s name.
”I T S Y O U R F A U L T”
The silence in the room was uncomfortable. All that was heard was the wind blowing outside and the energetic fire that was happily dancing with one and another. Daniel bit his lip, his eyes widen at the familiar voice.
"Don't you love me, Daniel? I'm your mother, after all."
It felt as if there was someone who had touched him, a shiver lead into trembling, and before he could even mutter out something to Darrel- he escaped, ran off with a door slamming hard after him.
Darrel sat quiet, not flinching or questioning why his big brother was in such a panic. He only looked at the white orchid, feeling the texture of the petals with his fingers. Without hesitation, Darrel pulled off a petal, one by one till there was nothing left.
There was an imagine in the boy’s head. A young male with a genuine smile on his lips. His eyes had a beautiful red hue to them, his skin was pale and his hair was like snow.
David Bridgeworth, dead.
Every single trace of his death was covered up.
After all, why would anyone want to know that a petty interrogator had committed suicide out of pure desperation? No one.
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I’m upset that your birthday’s been so hollow and shitty so far! I hope tomorrow and the days that come after keep getting better and better! Here’s a drawing of a happy blushing dearest Lucas with David hair because your pretty long hair is hard to do justice!
any you feel like... from anyone.. for the herscha. how did they get this creepy bioterrorist's number? we may never know.
Send “✘” for a hateful text. (David!)
TEXT TO: [Unknown]: I'll tell you one thing right now. If I so see you near my friends or me I'll kill you. I'd probably arrest you, honestly- but I know your fucking type.
TEXT TO: [Unknown]: I'll kill you. I'll break you as if you were a fucking toothpick. You look like the weakest shit and I'll stomp on you, kick you like a sack of shit.
TEXT TO: [Unknown]: So drop dead, teacher. Go to fucking hell.
nonetheless, now that its 19th december aka my birthday, id like to just say that i will from now on go with the name lucas! they/them pronouns please! i wont get super mad at you if you call me she/his etc i really dont mind- but my preference is they/them still!
well then uh
im not sure how i feel about my birthday. i cant say this is the best birthday, but i cant say its ultimately the worst. its just a lot of things are going on at home that im not sure if im actually comfortable being home. it feels very boring, actually. and its my birthday. it feels like a normal day. it doesnt feel very special. usually this would be fine, but this time its not- i think. its a little worse than "its just a normal friday" it feels empty, shallow and really just. nothing.
writing this and making me reflect over how bad this day really is makes me just want to cry even more oh d ear,,,,
i think ill just stop writing this here. i dont think i should cry on my birthday.
i am kalium and i want to deliver a big shout-out to the beautiful intxrrogator on their birthday! it’s so weird to recall that i’ve known clear for a fantastic half-a-year now, because it doesn’t seem like it’s really been that long~
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TEXT TO: [barrrrrrista]: please ohpg odo please help mei m c please please answer i dont k no w what to do pleas
Send “ø” for a late night text. (Daniel)
TEXT TO: [Hideki-san]: Life and thoughts keep me up at night. My mother keeps me up at night, too. I just can't sleep. Any tips or something? Counting sheeps don't count, by the way.
TEXT TO: [that one writer]: ever thought how fucked up it is that we will never see ourselves directly we will only see reflections and pictures.
Send “✘” for a hateful text. (David)
TEXT TO: [that one writer]: you always seem so innocent and pure, but is that really what you are? sometimes, i feel like you're fake. you're so so fake.
TEXT TO: [that one writer]: but then again- who isnt.
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