[“Q: What are ways you, or other sex workers you know, have found to stay safe from violence( from cops, customers, lovers and partners, child services, the med- ical and psych establishments, immi- gration, and other sources)?
MISS MAJOR: The thing about this question that you have to keep in mind is that there are different kinds of violence: spiritual, psychological, sexual, physical, and emotional.
Each one is going to have a different effect on us, and those effects impact each of us differently. For example, someone who is FTM will be different than an MTF because socialization will affect the results of the violence- how you receive or resist it. Taking that into consideration, one of the things I tell the young [trans women] is that you've got to find ways to stand up for yourself that don't incur more wrath on you. For a trans man, they're usually not over 5'7", and because of their size, I've noticed that the aggressor often takes it to an extreme. They will go beyond verbal assault to show that they are a “real man." With trans women, they're less likely to overpower us one-on-one because we're bigger than the average bear. It's more likely to be in groups or from a distance (for example, throwing shit from a car). The funny thing is, they'll attack people they think are fags because they think they're weak and effeminate but with black trans women, well, we have a reputation in black communities. You don't fuck with the sissies and queens. Going back to the 1950s, you hear them say it about trans women: “You can chase them but don't back them into a corner!"
So, with violence, you go through stages:
—You can fight back physically
— Sometimes you can't do that, especially for girls who are prostituting, so then we'd sometimes carry two bricks in our purse. Two red bricks, and reinforce the purse straps so that it wouldn't snap off when you'd hit someone with it.
— If girls had cars, we'd get little kids' baseball bats (about a foot long), soak them in water for two weeks. This way when you use it, it won't break. Then dry it, cover it with electrical tape just the exact width of your hand. One side of tape down, one side up so that once you grabbed it, it was in your hand till you were through. We'd keep these under the front seat. Necessity is the mother of invention.
— We would go to bars, take cue balls and put them in two socks. Girl, it takes ass to whip ass- if you're gonna take a piece of mine, I'm gonna take a piece of yours. Some of the girls would match the socks to whatever they were wearing. Had to be flashy!
— We would work in neighborhoods together. If we saw a girl running all she'd have to do was scream and we'd all wait for the boys to follow Then we'd all run behind the boys. We'd listen for this because we kne we weren't in a safe zone. When the girl knew we were behind her, she usually stop. And then it was on. We don't always win, but ... we've gotta protect ourselves because we can't afford to be hit in the face or in the chest and have our tits messed up. This reminds me of a scene in the movie To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar where it's the transgender woman who kicks ass— not the sissy or the gay boy.
-If you can't fight, you buy a gun.
MARIKO PASSION: In my personal escort work, I hire a security person to stay awake with me during my graveyard shift and check in and out of shows[ jobs]. He has a car and we've talked about emergency plans. He has copies of my driver's license to get me out of jail on my own recognizance and he has my car/ house keys. I carry a stun gun, pepper spray, and am currently training in self-defense!
I try to always screen well and not be in a hurry or desperate for cash, but that doesn't always go as planned. I know that neither the police nor my security person will help me during my next incident of violence, but they will be able to help me after, or hopefully help me out. I de-escalate angry customers with logic, calm, and nonviolence. I retreat before fighting. I blog about my experiences of violence to the world. I perform pieces about it. I Facebook about incidents of violence as soon as they happen.
I had a few friends while I was with my last boyfriend who helped encourage me to get out of that relationship. It was horrible to call the cops on someone who you lived with and loved for almost two years knowing that they were on probation and could go to jail. When the cops came to my door, they gave me the “No Excuse for Domestic Violence" training talking points. The cops did get me to see that this relationship needed to end. In my relationship both of us were on probation, so any run-in with the cops would be a violation. We were very aware of domestic violence laws and even sang a song by Snoop Dogg: “First one gets to the phone, the other one's goin' to jail ..." that captured this sentiment on our romance.
My boyfriend was my driver and he helped me stay safe, although reluctantly. Although he was paying his rent by being my driver, he was not exactly thrilled that I was having sex with people that he was driving me to the front door of. I wished he would get a job and he wished I would not be a sex worker.
The sex worker and driver couple can easily become a Bonnie and Clyde duo if they want to. Except because it's illegal to employ a driver, your boy- friend is then legally defined as your “pimp," and this can be another violation of probation. We had discussed that if he or we were pulled over in a prostitution sting that we were to tell the cops that we were NOT in a relationship and that we did NOT live together and that he did not know what I did behind closed doors. Those are the things that police try to link to pimping in an arrest.
The violence of the system has it so that the systems or people that you enlist to protect you become the targets of unjust laws, discouraging us from using our own systems of protection where the police have failed.”]
