No, I'm not a hypochondriac.

But when will I be be better? In 6 months? In a year? Longer?

^^ Link above. I was just explaining to someone this morning the whole concept of grieving with my illness. I'm 24 and I've lost my ability to drink alcohol, go to the gym, live independently, stay up late, and in a lot of ways, be young and spontaneous. I used to be a free spirit. I drank frequently, went out with friends, stayed up past 2am, worked out 6 days a week, and traveled as much as possible. Now I feel like my whole life needs to be planned around how I feel emotionally and physically, the side effects of my medications, and whether or not I will be awake enough to function. I'm usually drained by 4pm and even earlier if I've been outside... sounds like someone much older than 24.

My dream is to get my life back and be ME again. I just want to live on my own again, have an apartment, have a pet? I don't want to worry about paying for medications and getting taken care of by my parents. I can't help but compare myself to friends who are making major steps in their lives; getting apartments with loved ones, getting engaged/married, buying dogs, socializing, etc. When I'm better, I can make these dreams a reality. 8 months of treatment and I'm nowhere near the light at the end.