Dwight, You Ignorant Slut

DON’T 👏🏽CALL 👏🏽YOURSELF 👏🏽A 👏🏽ROSA 👏🏽DIAZ 👏🏽STAN 👏🏽UNLESS 👏🏽YOU 👏🏽CARRY 👏🏽AN 👏🏽AX 👏🏽WITH 👏🏽YOU 👏🏽AT 👏🏽ALL 👏🏽TIMES

DON’T 👏🏽CALL 👏🏽YOURSELF 👏🏽A 👏🏽GINNA 👏🏽LINETTI👏🏽STAN 👏🏽UNLESS 👏🏽YOU 👏🏽CARRY 👏🏽A 👏🏽HAIR 👏DRYER 👏🏽IN 👏🏽YOUR 👏PURSE 👏🏽AT 👏🏽ALL 👏🏽TIMES

DON’T 👏🏽CALL 👏🏽YOURSELF 👏🏽A 👏🏽 AMY 👏🏽SANTIAGO👏🏽STAN 👏🏽UNLESS 👏🏽YOU 👏🏽CARRY 👏🏽A 👏🏽BINDER 👏🏽IN 👏🏽YOUR 👏PURSE 👏🏽AT 👏🏽ALL 👏🏽TIMES

DON’T 👏🏼 CALL 👏🏼YOURSELF👏🏼 A 👏🏼JAKE👏🏼PERALTA👏🏼 STAN👏🏼UNLESS👏🏼YOU👏🏼CAN👏🏼QUOTE👏🏼ALL👏🏼THREE👏🏼DIE👏🏼HARD👏🏼MOVIES👏🏼FROM👏🏼MEMORY👏🏼AT👏🏼ALL👏🏼TIMES

Don’t call yourself a Captain Holt stan unless you realize that typing in all caps with claps between every word is a very inefficient way to communicate.

im in philosophy and were talking about how you can doubt everything’s existence except for your own consciousness and the guy that sits in front of me just turns around tears streaming down his face and goes “i am on so many drugs”