Do you think that suicide and self-harm are things that go hand in hand? Do you think self-harm is seen in a negative context only by what has been portrayed by the things we see every day (media, family, friends, etc) or do you think it is inherently something that the human psyche recognizes as āOh no, this shouldnāt be happening, make it stop.ā Personally, as someone who has dealt with both self-harm issues (about 14 years worth, cut-free for almost a year) and suicidal ideations (off and on for the last 12 years, but havenāt let them get to me in almost 9 months), I donāt see them working in tandem. Yes, some people who self-harm do commit suicide. No, not everyone does. Itās, in my opinion, pretty damn awful to have someone ask you about scars and cuts/burns like theyāre something that that person is entitled to do (newsflash- itās not) and itās even worse when someone assumes that youāre trying to (or have tried, but failed, to) kill yourself. Yes, Iāve thought about it before, yes, Iāve attempted it (years ago), no, Iāve never been hospitalized for it, and no, Iām not dwelling on it now. Iāve lost enough friends and people that I care about to suicide and the ones that really die in the end are the ones left. The parents who find their son. The husband who finds his wife. The daughter who finds her parent. They are lifeless husks that were once vivacious beings so full of joy that that person had brought to them, that that person had been part of, and nowā¦itās like theyāve been unplugged. They, as Iāve seen personally, cut themselves off from the world damn near completely or delve into coping mechanisms just to numb themselves against the memory that the person they loved so much is never coming through that door, down those stairs, that person is never going to call or text, that person is just gone. Of the people Iāve known, not one of them left a note behindā¦In a way, I think that mayāve been a little more cruel, giving no explanation as to what was going on in their head in those last fleeting momentsā¦but I can also understand the need for privacy and the feelings that no one will understand whatās going on, what youāre feeling, that no one cares, youāre just another face in their busy day. I know how all of those thoughts can race through someoneās mind, I know the fear that clenches the heart when the dark veil of absolution begins to overtake you, I know the emptiness when apathy begins to creep in and take hold of your life. I know them because Iāve been there. Iāve been at the edge of that abyss before, peering into the void, seeing nothing returning your gaze. Itās those moments that can define a person- either taking a swandive into the darkness or doing whatever it takes to get away from that quickly disintegrating edge. There are so many resources now for people who are still on that cliff peeking downward, staring into the void as it stares back in return, staring into the void of man. Sometimes they work, sometimes they donāt, but really, I believe, if we took the time to get off of our phones/tablets/computers/whathaveyou, and paid some actual attention to those that we love and cherish, maybe thatād help a little more too. So many people donāt realize just how important they are, how loved they are, and how much they impact a person. So many people donāt realize how much they loved someone, how important that person was, or how much they miss them with every fiber of their being down to their very soulā¦until that person is gone. Please, if youāre reading this and youāre contemplating suicide, please talk to someone you love and trust. If you canāt, then you can message me and Iāll listen to you and try my hardest to help you. Iāll be that hand to help you from the edge of the void. Sometimes just having someone to listen helps.
