Heya, soo, I guess I'm back? Somewhat?

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@int3rmittedst4rving
Heya, soo, I guess I'm back? Somewhat?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I really wish there'd be a cheat sheet for an Ed, cause I'm spectacularly bad at it.
What's up my guys? γΎ(^Ο^*)
Long time no see. Still alive but did put all my energy into changing my life.
So I'm practically in the middle of moving to my new partner. Away from the city.
So I'm doing pretty ok with my ed at the moment. I'm at a really good weight keep going even though there are still this shitty thoughts. Guess that will hunt me forever.
But I try to ignore it.
I also got a job today. I'm just a temporary helper at the moment but this is still amazing after 2 Β½ year being sick and not working.
Fotos are from Halloween but that's the latest I got... :3
Also my love for my pet snails grew and now I have 5 with a sixth one on the way.
I got still a lot financially issues... which is pretty bad for someone with an ed... but when the moving is over and I finally live here on the countryside I can relax a bit.
Also I apply for a new apprenticeship. So I have a lot of talking with different people to do. I hope I get a good one here.
Anyway. I hope you all doing fine.
Hey, I'm so happy and proud of you that everything is starting to get better. Sure, some struggles stick longer then others, and especially with ed's you have to make the choice every day again to keep on trying and getting better. You halloween costume looks lovely, as do your snails. And congratulations to your new job. Keep going!!
Tomorrow I'm gonna fast till dinner, cause this way I can sneak my "not eating" easily around my fiancΓ©. I really need to get my head back in the game, the vacation really messed up my ed thinking
Im Home again, which is great but also sad.
I'm happy to do my fasting and calorie counting again, but I'm scared to step on the scale tomorrow, aswell as sad that the vacation is over :(
Also between my home and the canary islands there a temperature difference of 20Β°c , so as of rn I'm so cold I'm shaking.
Also our house cooled down completely cause we did not start the central heating till today.
Wish me luck that I didn't gain all my weight back. I'll update you tomorrow:)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Im gonna be home in less then 48 hours and I'm so so so Incredibly scared that I gained all my weight back while on vacation π it took me a month of restricting etc to loose 2 kg cause my body is so fucked up...
"the club" isn't a real place. "clubs" are real. I've been to clubs, with their loudness of talking and loudness of music and actually pretty good cocktails and drinking until you think you can dance. none of them have ever been "the club." the club is erewhon, utopia, a dream of finding a reprieve from suffering and loneliness in pleasure. maybe he should be at "the club," but he cannot. we can none of us be there. also the cocktails were probably overpriced.
"the club" exists in the cave rave scene in that matrix sequel and like 2 taio cruz songs and thats it
The club is an ever-present phenomena that can only ever be approached but never truly achieved. Oneness with the club is impossible, but it is our relationship to the club that serves as a measurement for suffering. It also has wine sometimes. Two of the many ways in which the club is like god.
" the club" isn't the best place to find a lover so "the bar" is where I go
I just want to be skinny. The fact that I have to wait and do smith for it is really no fun.
Driving around instead of eating: Uber starve
Ok, im gonna say it. Vacation buildings should come with a scale. The fact that I'm still on vacation for another week ( yay) and I don't know if I'm loosing, maintaining or gaining all m lost kgs back is really making me want to peel my skin of. My boyfriends cousin and his stepsister are suuuper skinny and toned , the cousin in insanely sporty, but his sister just has the most incredible metabolism that exists. They easily weigh like almost half of me. I feel like the fattest, ugliest pig ever.
And the worst part is, they are both so incredibly nice and I love them dearly....

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Me opening the fridge like " yas girly, gimme nothing! "
Im so scared that during my vacation I'll gain back the few kg that I fought so hard for to loose....
I just did some Aquasports and now my neck is sore and crampy. That's what I get for being active
Ok currently on vacation and therefore a bit less active.
I'm currently eating about twice a day, breakfast and dinner, since this is a big family vacation and I don't want anyone to get suspicious. But I'm still trying not to go completely nuts. Also im burning a lot of calories with All the swimming etc.
I'll be more active again when I'm back. Take care :) an let's hope I still loose some weight while on vacation:)
So, in November I'm on vacation for 2 weeks , but that means Im not able to check the scale. I'm so scared that I might gain . I really will have to be careful with what I'm eating. Luckily I'll get some exercise with all the swimming .

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hey guys when i get a job π€ i can wear long sleeves under the short sleeves right.. also do i need to give them an explanation ..?
I don't think you will have to explain. And if you can always say it's for modesty reasons or smth like that.
Here's a quick PSA to my 25 + y/o gurls
I know we are comparing each other all the time. But please don't forget, our body's are not the same as they've been and we don't loose weight / funktion the same way as a teens body does. It's hard to accept and even harder to be nice to oneself. But I simply can't loose weight or fast the same way I did when I was 16. And that's ok, and no reason to bring myself down even more.
Grown bodys don't work the same way as growing bodys.