sans coeur

All the clothes I own for when I’m “skinnier”

To be able to have more fun in summer, aka wear less at beach, pool, on vacation.

To show my tattoos off more, and my piercings.

To spend less on food, and more on hobbies.

So I can travel in confidence

So I can finally get that belly piercing and show it off proudly

To look small next to him.

To wear his clothes again.

So his clothes are baggy on me.

So my face is thin.  

So my thighs are thin.

So my boobs shrink some.

So my stomach gets smaller. 

So I can wear “one size fits all”.

So I can shop in the mall again.

So All my hoodies I own now are cute and baggy.

So I can treat myself without guilt to whatever I want.

So I can wear the clothes of my dreams.

So I can buy a mermaid wedding dress one day

So my curves will just kill.

To achieve the thing that’s been hardest for me

To prove I can do anything.

To change my life.  

For my health

For my satisfaction

To impress my Mum and family

To be beautiful for my boyfriend

To shock people at sixth form

To impress friends

To feel happy

To feel comfortable

To wear shorts and skinny jeans 

To wear crop tops

To have prettier skin

To get rid of stretch marks 

To lose the dimples

To lose the wobbly bits

For better hygiene

To sweat less

So I can go on girls holidays and be comfortable

To look good in bikinis

To feel comfortable in any position

To never feel bloated again

To save money

To stop feeling sluggish

To see my collar bones and hip bones

To never feel chub rub again

So I can let my boyfriend pick me up without feeling horrible about myself

So people notice me

To not feel self conscious at party’s

To not feel self conscious doing exercise

To feel stronger

To feel comfortable riding shotgun

To not have to hold a jumper over my belly/crotch constantly

To sit on my boyfriends lap without feeling like I’m crushing him

To be comfortable riding a bike

To not have squash into theme park rides

To get rid of my chins

So I’m no longer the fat friend

And then I want to be skinnier…