missapple

Baran as a child never being diagnosed because 1) women and girls are historically mis/underdiagnosed unless they exhibit the traditional "male" autistic behaviors, 2) being an immigrant child, and 3) her seizures took first priority when it came to her health

She always knew she was a bit odd. Being in the hospital a lot as a child meant she had lots of time to read books and watch documentaries about her interests. Special interests can be very specific or even nonsensical at times, so yes, she had a very early special interest in the brain and neurology, but I hc that child her had an obsession with the different types of MRI machines. Don't get me wrong--she hated them, they were loud, compression, she had to be in them constantly--but she spent hours studying the serial numbers and the different types of MRIs in the medical textbooks she borrowed from the medical students interning on the pediatric neurology floor. She might have gone into radiology if she didn't get into med school

I think she also had a special interest in something like old star trek or an old sitcom that would replay over the hospital TVs. Her father would take her to conventions as a child when she was feeling ok and she would always dress up.

Baran having a hard time with friends during her school years. She was the odd kid who was always at the hospital, so the other kids were a bit wary of her. She was content to pace the fence of the playground, making up stories in her head, and making sure she took the same amount of steps each length of the fence. It was her special game.

She sometimes wished she had a best friend though.

Baran has learned to adapt and mask as an adult, even if she doesn't know that's what she's doing. She has learned how to hold conversations, how to engage in small talk, even if she doesn't enjoy it. Her new special interest is improving the healthcare system--she spends hours researching and brainstorming. She still enjoys watching reruns of star trek though.

Baran can still tell something is off though. Sometimes she'll be engaging in conversation with a colleague and they will give her an odd stare. Was it her tone? It didn't make her feel good but no one ever explained.

We see it all through S2...the standing too close to Robby, the intense eye contact, the blunt tone, the almost rehearsed speak to patients...neurodivergent baran you are so special to me