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if i look back, i am lost

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@insomniacacademic

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔶 𝔪𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔰
Week 1: romanticizing my side project. Not shown: any of the required coding. Still not sure how to handle that aesthetic…
Meanwhile in the study room..

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When I got here, I hated this place, with its horrible brutalist buildings and its relentless party spirit. I spent long hours sitting inside writing my thesis while the sun burned in the sweet tart blue sky and the waves arrived endlessly. I felt it misunderstood me. And now that I’m graduating and leaving, the thought of never coming back makes me want to vomit. I guess thats how these things go.
But my reading tree has gone now, and a dog had probably peed on the base anyway
Dark Academia Work Music
Writing my PhD thesis to the same playlist I did my high school homework to has made me slightly emotional, so I thought I would share the spotify version of it! Here are all the beautiful slow and contemplative songs, none of the intense battle music. But thankfully its not just repeats like those d*** Harry Potter for Sleep playlists. Enjoy :) (And let me know if I'm missing any)
ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴏᴋᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ʙʀᴏᴏᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ
P.D. Last queued mood board rn, the rest will be queued reblogs unless I have time/need to de-stress. Ty all ♡♡
“Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all of the lives I’m not living”

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Lady Chatterley's Lover < Mediocre Dramione Fanfiction
I finally read this expecting it to have some intellectual value to warrant being a classic, and instead I come away with a list of similarities between this and the majority of extremely mid dramione fan fiction. Here goes:
FMC and MMC go from being hardly civil to having sex in the span of 30 seconds
MMC refers to FMC using something considered to be a slur
while they hate each other they describe feelings in a manner such as “he looked at her and felt a stirring in his loins”
Copious and gratuitous trashing of the FMC’s former partner
A truly unnecessary number of smut scenes
All sex scenes described using super vague and strange terms
MMC is emotionally unavailable more or less the entire time - we only know he actually likes the FMC from his POV
Random 1000 word description of a setting in england that feels irrelevant to the plot
Ends with a bunch of formal lunch and dinner meetings for the FMC’s friends and family to meet her partner who they ultimately disapprove of but sort of accept.
I'm sure this has value for the cultural disruption it caused, but none of its reflections on class dynamics in england are particularly enlightening either. Save your time, go read a fanfiction written by a teen.
A contemplative, mostly-in-latin dark academia holiday playlist, for those who aren't ready to crank Mariah Carey while they read/think/work!
Moments of escape in my midwestern holiday + a trip to the alma mater 🖤📚
Farewell to floral sheets season (the rest of my autumn camera roll)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
A contemplative, mostly-in-latin dark academia holiday playlist, for those who aren't ready to crank Mariah Carey while they read/think/work!
Alternative Dark Academia: Dusty Answer (1927) by Rosamond Lehmann 🕯️
There is not a doubt in my mind that Donna Tartt has read this and that the greek class in the Secret History is heavily inspired by these characters, down to the incestuous blonde couple (Charlie and Mariella, instead of Charles and Camilla) and the intellectual brooding leader of the bunch who is named Julian here, instead of Henry. I am stunned at how few reviews it has on goodreads and can not recommend it enough. Its a coming of age book of a young woman named Judith and covers her efforts to insert herself into this close knit friend group as well as her romantic feelings towards both men and women during her time at Cambridge. The TLDR: Like the secret history but instead of murder there is sapphic romance and unrequited love