[ SOMETHING BUGGING YOU? ]

Bang bang! Two attacks so far! I'm feeling surprisingly motivated this year 💪

Body horror under the cut ‼️

doctor hansel would you still love me if i was a bug

headcanon prompts with questions based on plants   &   what they represent in flower language .  happy roleplaying !!  ♡

abatina :   is there anything in life your muse has changed their mind about over time   (   due to becoming more educated on the topic ,   certain experiences  ,   etc .   ) ,    or that they   would   change their mind about under certain circumstances ?  

acanthus :   is your muse deceptive ,   or willing to lie or deceive to achieve certain means ?   why or why not ?   

aloe :   how does your muse handle grief ?

amaryllis :   what is something or someone that your muse takes pride in ?   how do they express that pride ?   

anemone :   how does your muse view the world ;   as a cruel   &   unforgiving place ,   a land full of wonders ,   or something in - between ?  where does that world view come from   (   what experiences ,   life lessons ,   etc .   ) ?  

angelica :   where does your muse draw inspiration in life ?   what motivates them ?

apple blossom :   how does your muse go about expressing or not expressing their sexuality ?  

bachelor’s button :   does your muse actively seek romantic companionship ,   or cherish the liberties of being single ? 

basil :   does your muse have a love - hate relationship with anyone or anything ?

bay tree :   does your muse seek glory   &   accolades ,   or do they favour a simpler ,   more personal life ?  

begonia :   how cautious is your muse ?   are they prone to noticing red flags ,   or paranoid to the point of untrusting most everyone ?   why or why not ?  

belladonna :   how does your muse respond to silence ?   do they take comfort in soundlessness ,   or seek to fill the void with noise ?   

bluebell :   does your muse learn from their past ,   or are they prone to repeating the same mistakes ?  

carnation :   what is your muse’s relationship with their gender ?   how do they express or not express this relationship ?  

chamomile :   what is your muse likely to take away from a painful experience ?   are they one to be haunted by adversity ,   or to use what they’ve gone through to become stronger ?  

chrysanthemum :   how does your muse express romantic love ?  how do they feel about love as a concept ?  

daffodil :   is your muse one to be loyal in relationships ,   or are they likely to quickly move from one bond to another ?

daisy :   did your muse ever feel as though their innocence had been lost ?   what moment in their life could be described as the end of their innocence ?  

edelweiss :   what was the bravest moment in your muse’s life ?  are they known to be courageous from then on ?  

fern :   does your muse believe in magic or cosmic forces ,   or are they more likely to think their life is ultimately a matter of their own control ?  

forget - me - not :   has your muse ever forgotten something that is or was important to them ?   are they afraid of forgetting things like that ?  

gardenia :   is your muse one to confess romantic feelings early on ,   or to conceal them for long periods of time ?  

gladiolus :   describe a moment from your muse’s life that they will never forget .

goldenrod :   does your muse believe in luck or fortune ?  why or why not ?   where do they believe these things come from ?  

heliotrope :   does your muse believe in soulmates ?

hibiscus :   how does your muse view the gentler ,   daintier things in life ?   as things worth preserving   &   caring for ,   or things only bound to wither   &   disappear ?  

holly :   how strong is your muse’s sense of intuition ?  are they aware of it ?   do they ever fear that it is only paranoia ?  

hollyhock :   how strong is your muse’s sense of ambition ?  what’s something they strive for in life ?  

hyacinth :   is your muse athletic ?   does it come naturally to them ,   or have they had to work for their physique and/or skill ?  

hydrangea :   how much does your muse value communication in their relationships with others ?  are they prone to being misunderstood ?

iris :   if your muse could convey one last message to someone they have lost or left behind ,   what would it be ?  

ivy :   what are your muse’s views on marriage ?   do they believe it is something strictly for love ,   or an institution rooted in business   &   social benefits ?   do they desire or have they desired to be married ?

lavender :   how easy is it to gain your muse’s trust ?  once their trust is broken ,   how might one go about mending it ?  

lilac :   what was your muse’s childhood like ?   how has their upbringing affected them as they’ve aged ? 

lily :   how does your muse view their mother ?  

lotus :   has your muse ever felt as though they’ve been reborn ?  have they ever desired the feeling of a fresh start ,   or a better understanding of themself and/or the world around them ?  

magnolia :   describe your muse’s relationship with nature   &   the natural world .  

marigold :   is your muse prone to jealousy ?  how might they handle envious feelings ?  

mint :   does your muse view themself as virtuous   &   moral ?  what do these words mean to them ?

nasturtium :   describe your muse’s relationship with their birthplace ,   or homeland .  

oak :   who would your muse consider the strongest person they know ?  

pansy :   does your muse often reflect on their own actions ?   do they ever think a lot about the past ,   and what they could have done differently ?

parsley :   describe a holiday your muse enjoys ,   and why they enjoy it .

peony :   what would a   ‘  happy life  ’   look like in your muse’s eyes ?

poppy :   what comforts your muse ?

rhododendron :   is your muse receptive to warnings   &   advice given by others ?

rose :   how much does your muse value other people ?   do they wish to have many friends ,   lovers ,   and/or associates ?   are they an easy person to love ?

sage :   what is your muse’s legacy ?   what do they want to be remembered for   &   what might they actually be remembered for ?  

salvia :   is your muse possessive over people or things that matter a lot to them ?  how do they express that possessiveness ,   or lack thereof ? 

snapdragon :   is your muse merciful ?  why or why not ?

southernwood :   how seriously does your muse take themself ?   do they prefer a solemn   &   intellectual atmosphere or do they delight in jokes   &   banter ?  

sunflower :   what brings your muse the most joy in life ?  

tulip :   how does your muse view people in general ?  

violet :   how does your muse respond to betrayal ?

willow :   how does your muse handle sadness   &   depression ?

the grand design:

can't generate his own body heat

falls asleep on the spot if he gets under like 5C

have fun spending 200$ a month on disposable hand warmers idiot

constant unrelenting back pain

suffocates on the lining of his own throat on a monthly basis

27 going on 57

can't fit in a car

can't fit in most chairs

can't fit in most clothes

gets a headache from caffeine by virtue of being a bug

no he hasn't quite figured out that caffeine is an insecticide yet

voted world's most likely to keel over and die from inhaling secondhand smoke

Can we talk sex? Let's talk sex. We're talking sex. Here's the sex post!!!

Noland has none! He is broke! End of story!

He can always manage to scrounge up the cash for what he needs, and he's happy to live off cheap staples — 60% rice, 30% chicken that was half-off at the supermarket because it was expiring the next day, 10% frozen vegetables — but any spare cash he has gets funneled into supplies for his surgical exploration.

Many of the things Noland owns are secondhand, are relics from the 90's, bought at flea markets and garage sales. Can't go wrong with a 40 year old slow cooker that he got for 5 dollars! Estate sales, secondhand stores, yard sales -- he's there. Torrented research papers and entomology books, extreme couponing tendencies, bugging acquaintances for discounts on services -- he's cheap!

When it comes to anything beyond his personal necessities... Noland is the world's worst tipper. Hates the idea of handing over a tenner for gas money, rarely eats out — if ever.

He carries no debts, thankfully -- he fully owns his own land and can grumble about his utilities and nearly nonexistent property tax all he wants, but there's no other owed payments weighing on his shoulders. No mortgage, no student loans still owing.

For where he gets his money? Unfortunately for Noland, there's not much money to be made in cataloging clicking beetles and performing surgeries on himself for fun, so yes -- he does have a little bit of a part time job. A very, very unsteady one. Pest control is his main source of income, spread by word of mouth. Termites? Ants? Wasp nest in your crawlspace? He's there, using those entomology brain cells of his to get the job done. Mouse problem? Fuck it man sure he can do that too, a mouse is a type of bug for these purposes. Plenty of work to be had in the summer, not so much in the off season.

( It should be noted that Noland does have the skillset for remote work, to find himself a better source of income -- but he'd rather stick with his own schedule, it gives him more free time for his hobby! )

He's got a modest savings account that lasts him through the winter, but beyond that? There's a reason why he has to use his older looks at the end of his moulting cycle to swindle senior discounts wherever he can.