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I really can’t fucking deal with this right now. I need to watch twilight and lower my blood pressure

it is hot summer nights mid July. im fucking dying over here

i feel apathetic towards almost everything these days. i can't care if i live or die. i can't care if i'm loved or hated. i can't care if i end up homeless. nothing feels real. people don't seem real to me anymore. these are supposed to be the best days of my life. days i look back on. i dont know if im making it to the next day whenever i go to bed.

Chopped fat babes where are we eatin tonight

How about multimillionaires. How about 8 inches. And thick. How about talented. How about loving and respectful. I lost my wife 10 weeks ago. 21 years faithful. I lost my daughter 3 weeks ago. 13. She was faster than me at 12, and I run a 6 minute mile.

life at the moment feels like a buddhist cycle of death. i'm failing miserably everyday to liberate myself from samsara because i'm seeing everything through fear. whatever veil is between me and reality is getting more and more opaque. and everyday i am reborn into a new misery.