devil in me

taemin’s well aware that he and jaesung wouldn’t have any kind of relationship to begin with if it weren’t for his own nightmares and the younger’s charity-loving hero complex which is trying to save the struggling one. but what happens when your savior becomes the root of your terrors? everlastingly paranoid, taemin watches jaesung push him away as he whispers something he can’t understand - often he panics that when jaesung speaks to jaewon and daehyun in korean, he’s telling them about how horrible taemin is and they’re all laughing at his face together. “if it’s pot, i don’t feel like smoking tonight, jae,” taemin says before letting go and silently slipping onto the passenger’s seat. it’s the hundredth time he’s rejecting drugs, because he knows that being under the influence and not clear-headed would lead him right into jaesung’s lap, kissing his mouth until they both suffocate, which is something they agreed against doing. he never imagined the reason behind him waking up in cold sweat in the middle of the night would be a boy - a boy leaving him, finding someone else, walking out of his life. curled up on his seat, he stays quiet as he unlocks his phone. he keeps his homescreen hidden from the musician - even while they’re cuddling and looking at cute videos on his phone, locking it without exiting the app first - all because his wallpaper is a screenshot of the two of them kissing from a cute little video they filmed while high. the picture makes him nostalgic, the mathematician going into his gallery and slowly watching all of the content they’ve made together, which there has been a depressing lack of lately. he comes across a photo of his body covered in jaesung’s lovebites and after that - nothing, not a sight of them. he sighs and gazes up at the boy who’s driving, wishing he could hold his hand, but there’s nothing he can do about it.

occasionally, when he gets held up at work or when the traffic makes it almost impossible for him to get home, taemin messages the group chat to start having lunch without him, since he doesn’t want a bunch of hungry bellies waiting around only for him. it happens today as well, but thankfully he manages to arrive just as his housemates are starting to set up the table. he announces his presence, and makes his way to the basement in order to wash up quickly and get a fresh change of clothes, picking out both jaesung’s shorts and t-shirt to chill in after his swift shower. he sniffs at the collar, inhaling his lover’s scent deeply since he missed the younger so much. when he goes upstairs and lowers himself onto his usual chair, he notices that jaesung, jaewon and jeremy are taking part in a conversation all three seem to be deeply interested in, with dae and kerry left to exchange giggly looks because of those three class clowns. since he’s so tiny and quiet after a long day with a packed schedule, he doubts anyone notices his presence, so he doesn’t bother speaking up, just slowly starts filling his plate. he looks down the table, pushing his lips into a pout when he realized he can’t reach the pot with noodles, which is to the right of his lover. “baby..” he calls for him softly with a whisper, but to no avail because said baby is speaking enthusiastically to his friends. the pout intensifies as taemin grips the hem of jae’s shirt and yanks on it like a child demanding attention. “baby..” he tries again, until jaesung ultimately stops talking and turns to him. he doesn’t really realize everyone else has quieted down as well, interested in what taemin has to say. “pass the noodles, please,” he says with his adorable lisp more prominent due to his pursed lips. his hand lowers from jaesung’s shirt to his leg where he keeps it as his boyfriend fills his bowl, making him feel warm. as a silent thank you, without thinking too much about it, he leans in to connect their lips in a peck. it’s the first time ever he shows such affection towards jaesung in front of the others, even though they have been aware of something going on between them for the longest time. tired, sleepy and having not seen his baby all day, he gives in and nuzzles against his nose, since they didn’t even get to say hello ever since taemin got home from work. “i missed you,” he hums just for him to hear and steals another short but sweet kiss in front of everyone, cheesing softly as he hears fond words back, enjoying their little lovebird bubble, until he notices smooching, kissy noises coming from across the table, jaewon, he assumes, when his head snaps towards the couple sitting opposite of them. “you better stuff your mouth with food or else i’ll knock your head into your plate.” ah, there’s the old taemin they all known and love, except he’s holding hands with jaesung under the table.

it amazes taemin that jaesung is still by his side after that, still willing to help him, and still promising that tomorrow they’ll be around each other, even if it just consists of putting face masks on together. taemin finds him incredible for that, since if he were in his shoes, he’d break down and abandon the person completely. however, he did notice they haven’t kissed or done anything really after his comments... “i’ll give you something to eat then,” he flirts suggestively, lewd as ever, trying to throw jaesung off from thinking there’s anything wrong with him. his eyes start shining like a cat’s, and he tilts his head like one as well. “award? what award...? i want an award,” taemin insists and grips the collar of jae’s shirt with his free hand, trying to bite jaesung’s finger which booped him. is it a kiss? can it please be a kiss...

taemin can’t pinpoint when exactly was the last time every muscle of his body burned like this. perhaps when he tried going to the gym with daehyun and jeremy that one time, persuaded by the former to work on his glutes in order to give his lover a sweet treat, though he’d never admit that. but it’s the pleasant kind of ache, which spreads warmth and pure sensation of love all the way to the apples of his fingers and toes. he barely got any wink of sleep in the pre-booked romantic suite of the lotte busan hotel which served as an appropriate engagement celebration setting unlike jaesung’s pubescent room and childish sheets, with his mother getting an earful of just how bratty and nasty-mouthed taemin is. never before has he had jaesung literally pass out after their playtime, but never before has he been crying ‘more’ the entire night as if his life depended on it, so sugary sweet and needy that no one would have the power to resist his mewls. he lost count of how many rounds they went for, but judging by how sensitive he got and how his tummy was in flames, he could only imagine how painful jaesung’s orgasms got since after the final one he collapsed on top of taemin and started snoring almost immediately, trapping taemin in an uncomfortable position with his legs spread and a whole human’s weight pressing him into the mattress, making it even harder for him to breathe, especially with the younger not even managing to pull out first - he left taemin feeling full, but far from fully satisfied. he graced his fiancé with some rest, abandoned to whine continuously under his breath while jaesung was sleeping. he did his best not to wake him up when he gently made him roll onto his side, but he didn’t bother to make him slip out either, carrying on with the intimate cockwarming whilst trying to calm the fire in the pit of his belly which was urging him to shake jaesung awake and make him hammer into him again and again until taemin has no active brain cells in his skull. who would have known that baring yourself and stripping away all of your defenses, showing every single emotion in the book would make taemin’s always satisfying sex life with jae skyrocket in quality past the limits the older thought they’ve already reached? although he’s currently still desiring him, he’s mindful of his baby’s wellbeing, so he attempts to distract himself and ends up staring at the brand new ring on his finger, tracing in and leaving fond kisses all over it, cherishing it in total disbelief that he, rhee taemin, has found someone who loves him enough to want to continue loving him his entire life whilst being the absolute love of taemin’s life at the same time. rhee? he no longer knows such name, it feels strange in his heart, the petit mathematician having embarrassingly dreamed about carrying the name bak for such a long time now. bak taemin. it feels so, so right. he closes his eyes and presses his lips against his engagement ring for the hundredth time, not knowing his lover has woken up and is gazing at him. he only becomes aware and thinks to look up when he feels jaesung’s morning wood stiffening inside of him, and hears teasing words about how he loves the ring more that jaesung himself. though bashful, his eyes meet jaesung’s and instantly become fond - it’s officially their first day as fiancés and it’s safe to say taemin didn’t get all of his feelings out due to jae falling asleep. “there’s not a single thing or soul i love more than you,” he says it easily, his fear of abandonment significantly lessening over the years so he has almost no trouble saying such words. jaesung’s literally seen him at his worst, there’s nothing more he can do to shock him or disgust him anymore. “you better mean that back.” taemin threatens as he pushes jaesung’s shoulder and makes him turn on his back, the older straddling his lap when on top of him. “you know how, a few years ago, i told you to leave me behind for the sake of your happiness, blah blah? well. now i’m telling you - if you leave me, i’ll hunt you down and disembowel you and make you eat your own guts. you’re mine. forever. just mine. no one else’s. you’re taemin’s jaesung. mine.” he’s getting hot due to his own words, possessive as always, having already slicked up the bond between their bodies, his own not wasting a single moment before it starts rocking. “please… more… just a little bit more…” taemin begs shamelessly, and when he feels jaesung’s approving, though tender hands on the flesh of his hips, all he can do is bend over while in his favorite position, connecting their mouths sloppily, as if they haven’t kissed for ages. with his bouncing going on, it makes it even harder for them to kiss properly, the french kiss dirty but full of pure love and need for each other, ones that they tried to keep to themselves for years, because of which they are now coming out with full force.

when taemin told jaesung he couldn’t go out for lunch during the weekend because he would be volunteering at an orphanage, he genuinely didn’t expect the younger to ask if he could come along, let alone spend the whole friday helping him pick out and pack clothes they no longer needed, as well as go shopping for kid toys and food. it’s something taemin is really passionate about and doesn’t regret investing his money and time into, because when you have kids, whom he already loves to begin with, but who also have pasts that are devastatingly similar to his own, his heart ultimately breaks. he didn’t end up in a group home himself, but he had an aunt who was always on the verge of sending him to one, he didn’t grow up in a loving setting either, so he wants to show them all that there is someone out there who cares about them and who was in the same situation yet somehow overcame it, got himself proper education, a job, friends, family, and a lover whom he adores more than life itself. “thank you for doing this with me,” tae whispers while jaesung’s driving them to their destination, the backseat as well as the trunk filled with all sorts of goodies. he’s holding jaesung’s hand gently with his own which is decorated with an engagement ring that makes him smile whenever he looks at it. once they arrive and the staff take them to the common room, taemin nearly immediately squats as the little ones run to him to hug him, already acquainted with the boy with the gummy smile and really cool hair which changes color whenever he visits. he says hi to all of them and gives them a hug each before going to the teenagers and giving them a fist bumps - they were really skeptical about him at first, but grew to find him cool because of his tattoos and interesting outfits as well as stories. he helps jaesung get to know the kids and tells them all about him, a couple of toddlers bringing him their toy instruments so that he’d sing for them. taemin kisses him on the cheek and leaves him for a little while to greet the staff and give them his donation as well as food, chatting about some of the new kids and the ones who left due to being adopted, giving him happy tears. with the formalities put to rest, the mathematician joins his fiancé during playtime with the kids, and helps prepare their meals, as well as feed the little babies. during so, a particular baby girl who was among new arrivals, and had both parents pass away due to overdose, clings to taemin and refuses to leave his arms even when she’s done with her food, becoming fussy whenever they take her away from his arms. “it’s okay, i’ll take her with me on a break, maybe put her to sleep, yeah?” he asks for permission and as all the kids have some quiet painting time while digesting and before nap time, he goes into the yard of the big house with jaesung and sits on one of the benches of the gazebo, the baby girl snuggled into his arms. they get served some lemonade and gifted cute little drawings and paintings that the kids made to thank them and express their love. his endeared smile shows how much the uplifting words mean to him and he lets jaesung see the way one kid drew them in a heart. “i’m so happy. so happy,” taemin announces and looks at jaesung’s face, completely enamored with him. “thank you for helping today, you’re such a good man. the best. i love you.” he’s smiley when their lips meet in a chaste kiss, the little one on his lap probably never before surrounded by such warmth. taemin only pulls back when he feels her poking at their cheeks, turning his head around to kiss her tiny hands. she’s around one years old, and he knows he’ll be praying to all gods and goddesses from all religions for someone to adopt her as soon as possible before she even forms memories of this place. “hey, jae? i was thinking and i know in vitro fertilization and surrogate mommies are a wonderful thing, really, but i was wondering if you’d ever want to adopt a precious little orphan?” taemin looks up at him with kind eyes and nibbles on his bottom lip before continuing. “i know people consider us damaged goods and think that orphans with troubling backgrounds can brings nothing good, but i don’t agree with that. if you raise and treat them right, i believe they blossom into the most grateful little humans who can love more than anyone else, because they know what it feels like not to have that love, security and safety. i don’t know. i feel like if i can save a baby who was doomed from the start, maybe when i’m dying i can look back and go peacefully knowing that i gave someone everything that was taken away from them, another chance at life.” taemin chuckles and his eyes shift onto the baby who’s playing with his fingers and slowly falling asleep. god, he’ll have to come and visit her more often. “what do you say, baby? well… don’t answer it yet. maybe think about it? and tell me when you feel like you’re finally ready for kids. i’ll wait until then,” taemin promises and smooches his cheek. “can you sing a lullaby for her now?”

“it wasn’t over thin air, there was a big rock right there... i don’t have my glasses on and it’s dark, don’t make fun of me,” taemin huffs as he gets lifted and carried bridal style, not doing much complaining afterwards since he’s pretty comfortable in jaesung’s arms. truth is, the insomniac got dizzy for a moment due to lack of sleep, feet wobbly and unable to keep his body up, but thankfully jaesung caught him just in time for taemin to play it off as a trip. he would never admit this to the other since the last thing he wants to do is scare jaesung and end up on an iv in the hospital. he’s content in jaesung’s arms, closing his eyes while breathing against his neck, light banter keeping him up until they reach their destination. it happens to be a flower-filled meadow perfect for stargazing, but as soon as taemin’s lowered onto the grass, he pushes his body up in order to straddle the musician and sit in his lap, faces comfortably close. “i wanna talk to you about something,” taemin announces quite seriously and brushes a few strands away from jaesung’s pretty eyes, heart skipping a beat as he feels arms around his waist. “so i was thinking and... you’re obviously an attractive guy...” he rolls his eyes and smiles at himself after saying that, pecking a smirk off jaesung’s lips as he lowers his hands onto his collarbones. “... and sooner or later, you’re... you’re gonna find someone you really like, and they’re gonna like you back because it’s impossible not to, even though you’re insufferable and annoying as hell,” this time he’s the one to chuckle, bite the very tip of jaesung’s nose and steal another kiss which he desperately needs in order to continue. “that person will probably have an issue with this... with you spending nights with me because i’m a car crash in human form. i know they won’t be okay with it, and i just want you to know that... when that happens, i want you to let me go, yeah?” he nearly pleads, the beginnings of his brows gently raised as he cups jaesung’s cheeks and pretends that he isn’t biting back tears, that this isn’t the reason he couldn’t sleep this night. “i promise to you, i will be fine. i will miss this, but i will understand and be happy for you. i promise i won’t spiral and self-destruct, like i told you i did in the past. i promise i will try to do better. i won’t drink until i puke my stomach out, i’ll just... come here and listen to your songs,” he nods and looks down at his lap, not wanting to face jaesung as a tear rolls down his cheek. he truly means every word he’s saying. in an ideal world, he wouldn’t be a depressed wreck, he’d be the perfect boyfriend bak jaesung deserves, and he’d make him happy as fuck. in that world, he wouldn’t hesitate twice before making his feelings known and asking jaesung out, he’d be so bold, and he’d love fearlessly. but he’s scared, scared of ruining the younger, scared of being torn apart again. “so do we have a deal?” he asks as he lifts his chin, cheeks completely wet once he looks into jaesung’s eyes softly. “you won’t hesitate, you won’t look back once an opportunity like that comes? i’d hate to stand in the way of your true happiness,” he whispers and presses their foreheads together, hugging him weakly. he then glues his face to the space between jaesung’s neck and shoulder, so, so tired both physically and emotionally. “thank you for hearing me out.”

online article writers must be 100% valid, knowledgeable and trustworthy, right? perhaps it’s just junhyunk grasping at straws by believing them when they say a change of setting would help writers get their creative juices flowing after being stuck in a very long and tiring rut. this is why, instead of in his own bed, he’s all spread out on the sofa in the living room, right across the currently useless fireplace, dressed in a shorts-and-t-shirt kind of pajamas, with his laptop warming up his thighs as he furiously types away at his piece, the usually silent keyboard now producing loud clicking noises. he’s not sure when cassius got back home from the nextdoor game night, which junhyuk had declined joining because of his responsibilities, but he can definitely notice his presence now, since the taller man has sat right next to him, rambling away about something that junhyuk currently has no interest in, nor willpower to listen to because of how stressed he is. “can we not talk now, please?” junhyuk raises his voice, which would come as a shock for such a polite and calm person to do, but his eyes are deadly serious when they snap at cas, jun at his wits’ end with him right now. it doesn’t register how he reacted until he hears cassius’ clearly hurt statement and watches him pick himself up and leave the living room, abandoning junhyuk with his own guilt. “shit, shit!” he lets out anxious curses before shoving his device onto the sofa, and rushing to his feet, following the sound of his housemate’s footsteps. he catches up to him in the kitchen where he finds him chugging water, and hugs him tightly from the back, even though he’s not naturally a person who initiates physical contact, face buried in the taller’s back. “i’m so sorry, cassius, truly sorry. this project is due tomorrow and i’m in a really bad place mentally and inspiration-wise, and i just released all my negativity onto you. i’m so sorry. please accept my apology and tell me how the game night went.” junhyuk pleads and pulls back, hoping cassius would turn around and understand where he’s coming from.

one day, maybe one day he’ll hear that statement without the whole night drives with part in it. it’s not a lie that taemin has taken a bit of a deeper interest in the tall male in front of him, one that has majorly developed over the last couple of nights taemin has had trouble with nightmares and sleep overall. he hates even assuming it, but there could be some root of his night terrors in the fact that he’s been anxious about his feelings towards this man for days now. this man who appears to be hinting at a date, or that might just be tae’s wishful thinking? you see, taemin could have sex easily with people, but holding hands is much more difficult for him, something sacred, something he could only dream about. and now as his fingers are locked with jaesung’s, he freezes up, eyes coming to a close. he tries to imagine asking him out, leaning in to bring their lips to a close, and he might get rejected, but in case he doesn’t, he pictures meeting the musician’s very korean parents in the very depths of korea while taemin himself is a pure disgrace, a polar opposite of a proper korean upbringing and morals, hell, they’d probably laugh at him for not knowing the language of his people and not being able to communicate with them. heck, he only learned how to say thank you to jaesung a while ago when he got shitfaced, and maybe in the meantime asked daehyun how to tell someone they’re handsome, but he’d rather die than say it. he’d bring jaesung so much unnecessary pain. wincing before he opens his eyes, his free hand goes up jaesung’s chest and rests at the base of his neck, thumb being able to graze the lower portion of his cheek and jawline. “i’m not hungry, so your stupid face can get a break. can’t guarantee things will be the same tomorrow night,” his voice is hoarse and low, like a whisper after a long silence, but there’s a hint of their typical playfulness to it. his eyes are heavily hooded as he gazes at jaesung’s features. he’s too beautiful, even when he unexpectedly gets up in the middle of the night, while taemin is lifeless and definitely not a sight for sore eyes. he feels really small and wants to hide from jaesung’s browns, bury his face in his chest but they... they’re not really like that, you know? “what are you gonna do if i don’t?” taemin asks doing his best to improve his mood and not be a mess third night in a row, even though all he wants is to curl up into jae’s side and maybe get his hair played with. “all i’m saying is, i can’t treat you with a meal if i’m dead.”

cold strawberry milkshake slides down taemin’s throat, the temperature making him slightly shiver as he chases it with a mildly warm, salty fry. for once, jaesung’s car smells like that signature mcdonalds scent rather than weed, as he slowly distances the vehicle away from the 24/7 drive through. taemin’s staring through the window even though it’s pitch black outside, and fails to react when jaesung parks at their usual spot, that is until he finishes his treats and the older asks him directly why he isn’t getting out. without verbally responding, he throws himself onto the backseat, curling on top of it and looking at jae with hooded eyes, hoping he’ll get what he wants. he chuckles once he sees the other pull out two joints and a flask filled with an unknown fluid, offering them to the male who’s experienced yet another one of his traumatic nightmares. “no.i feel sick after the food. just come,” he whispers as he pats the seat which obviously has no room for both of them to be comfortable. he snorts and rolls his eyes at the sarcastic remark, even though it made him a little alert, and moves for a moment to let jaesung spread over the backseat before lowering himself on top of him - he rests his wary head on the older’s shoulder and gazes up at him. “i don’t like you, this all is just... convenient for me. and don’t even dare to think i like you because we kiss when i get fucked up - that just happens because i’m gay and have nothing else better to do,” taemin lies in a desperate attempt to explain himself without looking pathetic. “imagine if i claimed you liked me just because you hang out with me after my freakouts and get me food. that’d be crazy...” he ends it by nosing his way into jaesung’s neck where he finally feels at ease, threatening to doze off. 

there’s no point in hiding anything from dylan, since they can read both men better than they can themselves. yoongi feels the safest with them and daehyun when it comes to discussing the relationship he has with jaesung, since they’ve been their silent supporters from day one, even when tae and jae failed to see the other’s feelings. the two stepped out from the house party for a smoke, chatting in the backyard surrounded by flowers and twinkling lights, and somehow the focal point of their conversation becomes jaesung and his cute facial expressions when he sleeps - keep in mind, this is the hundredth time dylan’s hearing this story in the last three years. the question doesn’t catch taemin off guard, it’s something that’s crossed his mind more than once as he was gazing at jae’s sleeping face, wondering if they could ever be boyfriends, even though taemin was dreaming of something much more. jaesung’s his safe haven, his home, someone who’s brought him out of his shell and helped him deal with trauma, someone who knows him like the back of his hand and knows how to soothe every ache, and multiply the shared happiness. “yes. i mean..” taemin’s eyes get lost in the darkness of the night sky as he gathers his racing thoughts. “if he’ll have me. no matter how many times we kiss and he tells me he loves me, i still wonder why he never asked me to be with him, you know? so i’m a little insecure. it feels like, ten years from now, we’ll still be in this same basement and i’ll still be wondering if i’m single or not.” taemin chuckles at the thought and his eyes shift down to the ground. “even if... even if one day he leaves me behind, he will always be the one for me. i can’t picture a future without him. it just consists of us moving out, buying a nice little house, having a daughter and a puppy and living a perfectly boring life together. i’m honestly tired of this young adult bullshit. i want to settle down with the love of my life,” taemin finishes it off. it’s been a while since taemin quit all the drugs and alcohol and started living healthily, taking his sleep medication. he’s been doing it all for his own and jaesung’s sake, for the sake of their, hopefully joint, future. he glances at dylan to see why they’re being quiet, but only catches them frozen, staring at something behind him. taemin furrows his brows and turns around, coming face to face with the tall jazz boy himself, eyes becoming two donuts as he doesn’t know how to act. with his cat eyes shifting back to dylan, he notices they bolted inside and left the couple alone, or more so, left taemin to struggle like a fish on dry land. “jae, i...” he begins helplessly, but all he can ultimately do is bury his tomato face in the younger’s chest, clutching the fabric of his outfit tightly with his hands which are drenched in cold sweat. “i’m sorry. please.. please don’t get scared off, i promise i’ll tone it down,” taemin looks up at him with orbs filled with tears, scared, bambi-like, getting up on his tippy toes in order to press their foreheads together. taemin rarely cries, which is why it’s a devastating sight to see. “please don’t leave me,” he nearly sobs it out, terrified that jaesung will see him as overly attached and delusional.

getting adapted to a new job and therefore a new schedule not only affects taemin, but the rest of his housemates as well since now they have to be considerate of his new habits and responsibilities as well as availability upon planning certain group events. but there might be a special someone who’s taking this fresh development a bit harder than the rest, a certain lanky aries currently glued to his side. if viewed from afar, taemin would seem unaware of jaesung’s presence, if it weren’t for the little hums and lulls of appreciation he lets out while having his belly rubbed, neck kissed and hair played with - yes they’ve known each other for ages, but during these last three years something changed between them, they’ve really learned how the other ticks. it’s known that after coming home from work, taemin needs to shower and eat, which is followed by a calm session of snuggles and occasionally work complaints, which are all ways of taemin recharging. right now, he’s resting on his back, his lover molded into his side as the older seems to be more focused on his phone. though at first he was reading the news and scrolling through social media as well as watching a few cat videos, now he’s typing up a lazy reply to one of his coworkers - the man is blatantly flirting with the petit mathematician who seems to be painfully oblivious of his shameless advances. he can hear a couple of mumbles and groans coming from jaesung, as well as his own phone being snatched from his hands - he had no idea the younger was reading the conversation, although he had nothing to hide in the first place. “yah, who was flirting? he was just being nice,” taemin complains with a click of his tongue and smoothly rolls onto his side in order to face the artist, not really caring where his phone ended up or if his colleague had anything else to say. he’s watching jaesung and listening to him speak with a growing pout. he’s read it somewhere that it’s toxic calling someone yours in a relationship, that it’s possessive and manipulative, controlling, caging, that it exposes a deep-rooted psychological issue (as if tae doesn’t already have a couple of those). so be it, he’s messed up, but the same old butterflies from years ago eat him up whenever jaesung calls him his, and he so desperately wants to belong to this man wholly. “don’t want to share?” he asks, pretending to be as curious as a cat as he lifts his brows carefully. during the last three years they’ve been hooking up, kissing, holding and supporting each other, and though they never clearly put a name to their status, everyone and their grandmother knows they’re together. neither has looked into other people, preoccupied with adoring one another. “i have a solution for that…” taemin announces secretively and puckers his lips invitingly until jaesung complies and presses his own against them. the older uses this opportunity to smirk. “ask me out,” he orders before ruthlessly biting down on the other man’s lower lip.

[text]: Sometimes I worry that you won't know how much I love you.

once he’s sure that jun has walked out thanks to the sound of his footsteps losing its intensity, taemin finally looks up at jaesung with an entertained beam on his lips. he pushes his tongue into a corner of his mouth in order to stop himself from grinning. “yes,” he answers shortly as if the whole incident with jun never happened. “yes,” he repeats, this time around his voice a bit more rushed and high pitched as his hands surge up to tangle in jaesung’s hair and pull him down into a deep kiss. he’s not aware of jun standing behind the door and waiting for them to get outside so that he could lock up the mansion. 

taemin stays uncomfortably quiet while following jaesung, fingers curled into his palms and forming trembling fists as they venture through the unlit house whose darkness is making him cripplingly scared, and he’s already awfully jumpy due to his disturbing night terror. at one point, he even reaches out in order to grab jaesung’s hoodie and hold on to it until they step outside where it becomes easier for him to breathe because of the numerous streetlights shining away the monsters from the mathematician’s brain. he’s unable to fully focus on jaesung’s rant, hearing every other word which often proves to be enough for taemin to catch on jaesung’s usual word vomit. once the car door is opened, tae leans against the vehicle right in front of the taller and emits a snort, as well as releasing the briefest smile in the history in response to his final sentence. “yeah, i’m cool with it, dumbass.. oh, and,” he looks up at jaesung’s face, unaware that his own looks ghostly under the artificial lightning. he grabs the sides of the man’s hood, making sure that he has his full attention for a couple of seconds. “thanks for this. i’m sorry for waking you up yet again...”