BURN THE HERETIC, DESTROY THE MUTANT

I am drawing way too many "Abaddon showing off his ginormous tits with crossed arms and looking heroic" for Marine Meat Monday.

FUCKKKKK 😵

Dark Apostle

(*after the prologue fight with the Red Ring/Shroud + Mecha Man explosion*) Medical Official: "You were in a four week coma." Robert, in hospital bed: "Shit." Medical Official: "Your mech suit was destroyed." Robert: "Fuuuuuck!" Medical Official, flipping page on clipboard: "You're also a couple of weeks pregnant." Robert: "Son of a- oh wait I knew that." Chase, contacted as next of kin: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KNEW!?"

Robert tries to ignore the situation all the way up until it goes on medical record that he's pregnant. This... new thing can wait until he has his revenge. Of course the destruction of the mech suit + Chase finding out about Robert's condition puts a screeching halt to that plan.

Chase and Vitalia (who I def hc as the worrying mother hen of the old brigade) are nearly force-feeding him vitamins and solid foods, since Robert's diet consists mainly of sweets and coffee. Chase doesn't so much recommend Robert to the SDN, as he threatens him to join.

Chase: "Or I swear to god, I'll resurrect your daddy and I'll have you grounded for the rest of your muthafucking life!"

Blonde Blazer/Mandy def knows, Chase told her specially to keep Robert out of trouble. Press conference still goes poorly. Robert mourns the fact he can't drink alcohol at Crypto Night (ice water and lime tasty tho). Flambae still gets humiliated by his old nemesis.

Robert doesn't tell anyone on the Z-Team about his condition, but they figure it out anyway. Most figure it out from seeing Robert during the meeting in Episode 3, but others are a little faster/slower to connect the dots.

Invisigal/Courtney was in the conference room when Robert and Blazer were discussing work and parental supports. Visi's "dad bod" comment is a little more applicable. She seems a lot more guilty for some reason. Has to physically restrain herself from punching Robert in Episode 2 cus she aint that low.

Sonar/Victor heard it the moment Robert walked into the breakroom after the 1st Shift.

Sonar: "Uhhh... you got that uh... other heartbeat checked out, Bro-bert?"

Robert, deadpan: "Yeah."

Sonar, sweats nervously: "Cool! Cool cool."

Sonar is desperately trying not to spill the beans to the rest of the team. Their dispatcher is a tiny pregnant dude who orders them around like a military general. It's hilarious (and kinda hot).

Flambae is... probably is one of the last to know. The only reason he figures it out is from recognising the prenatal vitamins on Robert's desk (he'd seen his niece's mom take them before). He explodes in more ways than one.

Prism is the one to tell everybody to stfu about it until Robert tells them all directly. It's his own damn business. Not-so-subtly sends Robert cute baby videos on the team group chat.

Malevola: "lol. Robert's soul looks like it swallowed another- wait."

Punch Up/Colm was like one of the last to figure it out, only because he wasn't paying attention. Robert still catches friendly fire at Sardines - Punch Up is mortified.

Coupe/Janette suspected it since Crypto Night. Antibiotics/painkillers or not, what other sort of person (other than those with severe heart conditions) would order a caffeine and alcohol-free drink at a bar? She stalked Mecha Man for a bit after that, and her suspicions were proven correct. She thinks its admirable he continues to work in spite of his condition, even if he's been (semi-forcibly) demoted to desk duty.

Golem/Bruno didn't suspect until he bumped against Robert in the hallway before their 2nd Dispatch. The tiny dispatcher was carrying a box of office supplies + dog in a weird way, and Bruno politely carried it to Robert's desk without question. The construct has carried heavy stuff for pregnant people before, no biggie. Despite being a little more cautious, he still accidentally hits Robert with the conference room door. Bruno is mortified to realise that the pregnant guy he helped earlier is their pain-in-the-ass dispatcher. Apologies profusely as Robert hits him with a chair.

Waterboy/Herman found out like seconds after meeting Robert/Mecha Man in the lobby. Robert had gotten pretty close while fixing his tie, and Waterboy swears he felt something kick him. His brain fries a lil bit seeing Robert in his civvie SDN uniform, a distinct bump on display. Answers to Robert like a gotdang soldier afterwards.

Phenomaman, as delicate as always (/sarcasm): "I must congratulate you, Third Robert Robertson! We must celebrate!"

Robert has to politely excuse himself + inform Phenomaman that pregnant people can't eat raw fish. Phenomaman makes a mental note to research other hazards he must keep safe from the smaller man. Are melons safe? He must restrain himself from accidentally harming his new companion.

Royd/Roy was warned by BB about Robert's condition so they can make a more long-term game plan for what to do with the mech suit. It certainly gives Royd a lot more time to research. He still meets Robert in the bathroom, albeit the smaller man in the stalls with morning sickness rather at the urinals. Royd will physically carry Robert away from messing with the mech suit if he has to. He doesn't want to risk learning what the Pulse could do to a hāpai person.

(Bonus spice: natural or not, the other genetic parent is a member of the Z-Team)

The "housewarming" party in Episode 6 is also one-part baby-shower. Cus none of Robert's friends trust he actually has any childcare supplies in his apartment.

The 2 canon female love interests you choose between

The 2 male characters you can choose to add to your team