I really dislike how totalizing descriptive language is. A huge barrier in the way of helping someone stop a behavior they want to stop is reassuring them that they're not That Kind of person, you know? If I tend to solve interpersonal problems by scanning for what I can do for the other person to resolve it, that's pushover behavior, but I obviously don't want to be a *pushover*- the fact that our language requires someone to merge their identity with the strawman Bad Person Category (or elseways walk around using that word in a way that keeps it torturously in the mind's eye, almost worse than just saying it) is a barrier to positive behavioral change that is genuinely difficult to clear! Maybe there's some clever combination of words that solves this problem, but I think the crevasse that we're trying to bridge is kind of inherent to the way we conceptualize problematic behaviors as per-unit problems- if a person is defective (meaning guilty of anti-social behavior), that means they are entirely a lost cause, and compromised from the point of infection onwards, and the contradiction between the group and the outlier can only be resolved by exile or voluntary self-abnegation- stripping away all of one's right to self-determination, self-identification, any right to have one's opinion respected or even listened to- the only solution is for the therapized subject to tear open their own chest in a show of loyalty, have their friends and lovers and metamours pick over every steaming lump of flesh until they are told that the cancer has been found，feel the gloved hands firmly grip something in their ribcage and yank. You don't know afterwards if it was something you needed. You seem to walk fine, breathe fine, your heart beats a little weaker, but everyone says you're much easier to get along with now, and you don't want to make them think you might be relapsing, so you agree, and do the dishes. The sucking cavity is a small price to pay for peace.
annaxmalina
titsay
gummygunk
germansingergirl
