inner thoughts librarian

Working on six patron resumes only to return to my desk and work on my own 😵‍💫😮‍💨

Ma’am I am not the notary’s caretaker; if the front desk says they’re coming then they’re coming

Sir, trust me, I checked this morning to make sure you couldn’t see my cleavage; please look somewhere else

sir please do not trim your nails at the desks

when you’re worried about the incompleteness of your answer but the customer is happy anyway 🙌

Sir, if you have the Plague, WHY ARE YOU HERE

my child, no matter how many times you tell me that you saw sour patch kids in the very candy bucket through which I am now permitting you to dig, I am still incapable of conjuring sour candy out of thin air

Sir if you knew the answer why did you just take up thirty minutes asking me?

Sir this is not cellphone store; you cannot purchase minutes in here

I’m not stupid, but I have to ask you stupid questions because you would not believe the shit that I’ve seen

Can someone please tell management that technologically illiterate people are incapable of signing up for computer classes online

Sir I love literature as much as the next librarian but we do exist in a capitalist, technological society and there is not enough financing for us to continue as a quiet building filled with “just books”

Ma’am that specific service is a courtesy, not a right

I’m sorry ma’am are you really asking for notary services ten minutes before closing?

Actually sir, since you live out of county, your tax dollars do not pay for my job, so

Yes they’ve never been to the library before and I get to tell them about ALL OUR COOL THINGS!!!

Im sorry sir but I am not familiar with the street layout of a city halfway across the world please don’t get mad