I write, therefore I am

Okay, all the requests - bar one OC special that I’m incapable of even starting - have been finished!

This blog is now officially dead. I was going to put it on hiatus, in case I never wanted to come back, but honestly? I don’t think I never will. I’ll keep it up in case anyone wants to read through it again though.

Here’s your request, @mietzi2511, apologies for the wait. I hope you enjoy these headcanons. ^^

Leiftan -

For once, he doesn’t have to feignhis surprise – he’s just as shocked as the rest of them.

Not once had he thought Lance would ever expose himself.He’d always wanted to keep his brother in the dark; probably out of somemisguided attempt to save him the pain.

But he has now and Leiftan’s furious.

For a man who cared so much for the plan, he lovedsabotaging it, didn’t he?

The guard knew who they were dealing with now, what they’relooking for. This would undoubtedly make things harder for them in the long run.

he’ll do his best to ensure the stupid dragon escapes this encounter, but damnwould the brat suffer for it later.

 Nevra -

Should be wondering how Lance’s still alive, hurt that he’dattack the guard – but honestly? He’s just pissed.

Valkyon spent years mourning this piece of shit, and he wasalive this entire time?

What the point of it? Needlessly causing Valkyon pain whenhe was more than welcome to go through the door. At least then Valkyon wouldknow his brother lived.

This revelation reignites his hatred of Ash-Lanceand it’s only because of Valkyon does he not leap the fucker.

 Ezarel -

Once upon a time, he thought the strangest thing he’d everdiscovered was a human was actually part fae.

This easily tops that.

There’s so manyquestions he wants to ask – a number of them with an unnecessary amount of expletives – but that in the end it reallydoesn’t matter.

It pained him to admit it, but Lance wasn’t the man theyonce knew. The numerous attacks on the guard proved that.

No matter how he personally felt about the situation, Lancewas their enemy – they can’t afford to think of him as anything else.

Valkyon -

There’s strange roaring in his ears. His vision’s blurry,head dizzy but he can see Lance in sharp acuity.

There’s so many thingshe wants to say, to ask, but a mixture of confusion,  hurt and relief clogs his throat, blockingthe words.

All this time, all this mourning, and he was alive. And he didn’tsay anything. Not a letter, a visit, nothing. He just… disappeared.

…Did he hate him thatmuch? He had to, right? Why else would he knowingly let him suffer for allthese years?

For the first time since joining the guard, Valkyon has tosit a battle out. He’s more of a hindrance of the help in the state he’s in.

Tried to experiment a little with this. I hope it turned out okay!

Enjoy ^^

‘I’m sorry. But Idon’t like you like that. I never have.’ Those words floated through hishead endlessly. A phrase he was so familiar with. One he’d spoken countlesstimes before, but never the receiver until now.

“I don’t know what I was expecting.” He stared out at the moonlit scenery from the gazebo, seeing nothing.

He shouldn’t feel this bitter. It’s entirely his fault fornot making a move earlier. For being a bumbling dolt who let fear rule his mindand push you away.

If he hadn’t been so shameless with his flirting, ignoringyou for women he didn’t give a shit about, then maybe things would bedifferent.

Maybe he’d at your side instead of him. His replacement.

He’d made the mistake of calling him that earlier. Itslipped from his tongue in a desperate attempt to make you see, but all it’ddone was infuriate you.

‘He’s not a replacement.’You hissed, ‘Don’t talk about him like he’s some spare part.’

‘Okay, that wasuncalled for. I apologise. But, _____.” He took your hand, praying you couldsee the earnest in his eyes. ‘Please.Give me one more chance.’

‘So you can ignore me?Hurt me all over again?’’ The raw pain in your eyes cut him deep and it dawnedon him just how badly he’d hurt you.

‘Just let me explain,please. I just need another chance, _____. I love you.’ You shook your head,pulling your hand from his grip.

‘I’m sorry. But I don’tlike you like that. I never have.’

You’d left shortly after that, leaving him here with hisself-deprecating thoughts.

He’d messed up. He’d messed up badly. Oracle he wished hecould just rewind time. Go back to the days when you didn’t have a boyfriendand didn’t hate him.  Back when he’drealised how madly in love he was and ask you out properly. Back when yousmiled at him with pain and sadness in your eyes.

But life doesn’t work like that. You’re happy with anotherman now; he lost his chance, and your friendship, a long time ago.

Thanks for the kind words! I really appreciate them ^^

I hope you enjoy these scenarios! =)

Leiftan -

“Excuse me, Y/N, I know it’s late but I found the-” He drawsshort when he looks up from the books in his grasp.

You look at him expectantly, surprisingly unconcerned with –or unaware of – your current state of dress. Or lack of such.

He shouldn’t be looking, and he isn’t. Really! He’s notlooking at your shapely legs or the waythe nightgown fits so snugly around your bust…

Fuck.

“I-I apologise. I’ll come back later.” Preferably whenyou’re fully dressed. And his little ‘problem’ has died down.

 Valkyon -

He should’ve knocked, he knew he should’ve knocked. But hedidn’t and now he got a good eyeful of your barely covered body.

The shimmering gossamer that covered your body barely leftanything to the imagination, and anything that was hidden only served to makehim even embarrassed.

“I, um…” You twist the edges of your robes, offering him anervous smile. “Did you need something?”

That slaps him back to reality, and he barely spits out anapology before he high-tails it out of there.

 Nevra -

He probably shouldn’t be so casual about catching youunawares, but you didn’t seem to mind too much simply telling him to shut thedoor on his way in. So he unabashedly took in your choice in nightwear. Andboy, what a choice it was.

Short and silk, it hid most of your body from view, but notthe contour which, in his opinion, was so much better. Especially when it was complemented by just a hint of cleavage.

“Have you finished ogling?” You huff, a red tint to yourcheeks.

He grins cheekily. “Hardly. Mind if I get a closer look?”

 Ezarel -

Why the hell had he decided now was a good time to get yourfield report? If he just waited until the morning like Ewelein had advised him, he wouldn’t be awkwardly examining yourdresser while you look for said report.

“Here it is!” Your cry of victory makes him turn to faceyou, something he’d been trying not to do since he’d clapped eyes on yournightwear.

And dammit, there wasn’t anything overtly sexual about it.But that little glimpse of leg when youwalked, the way it pinched around your waist- it made him hotter than it rightly should.

Thanks for this @penguingirlanzu! I’ve actually been wantingto write something for my poor mistreated farm boy, but haven’t been able tokick my ass into gear.

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writingit. =)

It’s surprising how the farm life has claimed him.

Originally, he’d hated it with a passion. It’d takeneverything he’d wanted from life and replaced it with a life he’d sworn toleave behind.

By now, he’s learnt to… not love it exactly, but it’s hislife now. The lights of the stage have long been replaced by the light ofrising dawn, the beat of the drums by the roar of tractors.

It’s not the life he wanted, but he really can’t imagineanything else now.

You, on the other hand, seemed to take utter umbrage at theapparent waste of his talents.

“Can’t you just sell the farm? How can you be happy there?”

He’d laughed, told you he’d be fine, that you should visitif you were so worried about him. He hadn’t expected for you to actually do it.

But you’re here now, cooing over the lambs and theirmothers, clumsily helping milk the cows and curling up beside him at the end of the hard day’s work in front of thefireplace.

Winding your fingers in his, he presses a kiss your knucklescausing a lazy smile on your face. You return the gesture directly on his lips,and he sighs in content, pressing you against him insistently as he indulges inyou.

“I’ve missed you.” He breathes as he pulls away.

With this, I’ve completed all the OC specials, sort of.

There’s still one more, but the person never sent the info I need so I haven’t been able to write it. I could just ask them for it, but it’s been a while, and I think I bothered them enough at the time (AKA, I’m a asocial coward who doesn’t like messaging people).

Anyhoo, this one’s for @tea-ee​. Sorry it took so long. I hope you enjoy! ^^

TW: Mentions of death and violence

The attack had been brutal. All battles were, he knew that, but this kind of mindless destruction hadn’t been seen in centuries.

People milled around the shattered guard, careful not to tread on the innumerable injured member lined up on the floor. Ewelein and her team were working overtime to accommodate the many, many hurt member who’d been caught in the initial blast. Working so hard to keep anyone from joining those who’d passed.

Ezarel looked away from the sight, focusing on the slow drip of his burette. It was calming on the worst of days. The regular drops falling into the beaker, filling it slowly with vibrant colours gave him time to think. To breathe.

Now it felt like choking.

He can still remember the first explosion. How people were literally thrown through the air from the force. The bloody battle that had followed after. He’d gained new scars in that fight. Nothing to be proud about; he’d almost lost his life after all.

But those hadn’t been the worse part of the attack. No. It was the aftermath.

Names were called, people searched for. Some answered back, a few were found. Most were not.

They searched, and they saved and they hoped, but no. They’d lost more than they could’ve ever imagined in less than an hour.

The entire Eldaryan guard brought to its knees by a small group of people and some explosives.

“Pathetic.” He hissed, fist curling against the table.

“Don’t be so harsh on yourself, Ez.” You stood in the destroyed doorway of his lab, a cheeky smile on your face. “You can’t help it.”

Whoo, another headcanon done! If I keep up this pace, I should finish the requests this week.

That aside, I hope you enjoy this, @dragongirl98765! ^^

Chrome –

Colour him unsurprised. About the guard thing, not the dragon thing. That he wasn’t expecting.

Despite the absolute bullcrapthose bastards put you through, you were loyal.

They took you in, helped you when most fae would leave youto die - or worse. There’s no chance you’d ever consider betraying them.

And while he didn’t wish you any harm – in fact, your dragonic nature makes him wish for the exact opposite – it’s just too dangerous to try convincing you of the guard’sblack deeds.

 They’re better off leaving you be with your mistaken loyalty.

Lance –

Were you a masochist? You must be, right? How else could youpossibly align yourself with those bastards after all his warnings and alltheir actions?

Oracle, he wants to slap some sense into you. Remind you howdisposable you are to them, assure you that he can keep you safe with the otherdragons.

But for once, he and Chrome are in agreement. As painful as it is to watch one of his own self-destruct in such a way, you’re a lostcause and a risk to the plan. 

It’s safer to let you burn with the guard.

Leiftan -

He can’t believe it.

Your entire situation should’ve assured you joining him,that you’d want revenge just as much as the rest of them. Why were you sostupidly loyal?

Of course, he knows that’ssimply how you are and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t admire you for it.But that loyalty throws a major wrench in his plans and he can’t let you screwit up.

Despite Lance and Chrome’s misgivings, he’s going to trychanging your mind. Not all at once, just little baby steps.

I hope you enjoy these, dear! ^^

Miiko –

Always had complete confidence in her decisions, that she knew what’s good for the guard.

But now she knows the truth - she’s just a coward.

A monster who uses her orders as a shield to protect herselffrom things she doesn’t understand and fears.

She can’t hide behind them anymore, not when the entireguard – herself included – questions whether she’s really the one they want incharge.

If it weren’t so last-minute,she’d step down immediately. Run from the position stained with your blood.

But she can’t. And she won’t.

Maybe it’s to gain your forgiveness,or seemly to right her terrible wrong, but she squares her shoulders andmarches on: all her decisions, thoughts, actions driven by the burning desireto right her wrong.

 Leiftan –

Has never hated the guard more in his life.

How could they drive you to this? Hurt you so deeply thatyou were cornered to such a decision?

But he can’t pretend they’re the only ones at fault.

He knew as well. And he did nothing to stop them.

It was because hethought that they’d never go through with it, that they’d come to their senseswithout his intervention. At least that’s what he tells himself.

But a small nagging voice questions: Is that really why?

I hope you enjoy this (hopefully) cutesy drabble, you lovely anon!

Karuto doesn’t make kicking companions a habit. In fact, he’s never kicked one. Thought about it?Definitely. Actually done it? Never, and he’d like to keep it that way.

But he gets the strange, uneasy feeling that if he ever didkick a companion, it’d have the exact same sorrowful expression you currentlydid.

The temptation to ask is there, but he’s never been good atcomfort or compassion, and the last thing you need is a grumpy old man prying.

So instead, he turns to his cooking – a sublime stew that he’dbeen watching all day – and wonders.

For you to risk coming into his space meant you eitherwanted a favour – doubtful consideringyou’ve been silent for the last 5 minutes– or, more likely, you’re hiding from something.

Those poor excuses forcaptains probably. They seemed to be the only people in the guard incapable ofleaving you be.

But why here? He hasn’t exactly been hospitable to you. Ifanything, wouldn’t the infirmary be a better choice? You were friends with Eweleïn,weren’t you?

“But then, they’re not afraid of Eweleïn.” His mumbling catchesyour attention, and you glance nervously at him.

“I’m not bothering you, am I?” Not really. In fact, it was nice having some company for once,but he’ll be damned if he admits that.

The whistling of the kettle saves him from answeringimmediately, and he busies himself with the stew’s finishing touches. “Nevermind that. You want some?”

“…Yes, pleased.” It only takes him a few moments to slide abowl of steaming soup before you, and even less time for you to dig in.

“It’s good.” You mumble around a mouthful.

He snorts, a pleased smile softening his face a smidgen. “Ofcourse it is.” Your lips quirk into a small smile of your own, and acomfortable silent reigns.

“Hey, Karuto?” He grunts, once again in front of the stove. “I-Can I talk to you about something for a bit?”

I wanted to make thislonger, but didn’t know how to =/ 

I hope it’s okay as it is, Anon! ^^

Lance -

The afterglow of the pleasure doesn’t fade as quickly ashe’d like. It makes him too vulnerable, too soft. Something you don’t hesitateto exploit, snuggling into his side, something he rarely let you do even on thebest of days.

He wonders if heshould push you away as a sort of reminder that he’s not as soft as you makehim out to be. But your warmth’s comforting and moving feels like too mucheffort. Instead, he lets his eyes close, letting whatever words you speak washover him like a comforting breeze.

You figure out that he’s not listening, gently poking him inthe side to gain his attention. Only one eye is opened, gazing down at youcuriously. “If you say anything sappy, I’m leaving.”

First Jamon request, and I did it pretty well. i think

I hope this is sweet enough for you, @lalelilolusworld! Enjoy =)

It’s strange how different the boys are. Ezarel’s acerbic,unbelievably harsh but well-meaning, despite his flirty tendencies Nevra’s gota honest compassion that borders on maternal, and Valkyon’s… well, Valkyon;blunter than a spoon but with a heart of gold.

They all had they own way of taking your mind off the bloodstaining your hands;  facts and reasoning,compassion and sympathy, a reassuring shoulder to cry on. All of itappreciated, truly, but you didn’t want to go over the situation logically, don’tneed to be smothered with pity or a shoulder to cry on.

You just needed him. Your sweet, simple-minded Jamon.

He doesn’t pretend to know how you feel, doesn’t try toeither. But he understands that nothing will ever be the same for you, that youmay never be okay again. And, blissfully, he says nothing –  simply notinghow messy your hair is and ineffectively trying to neaten it.

He offers you his honey rations, mostly because he knows youhaven’t eaten since you got back and you won’t if he doesn’t.

But most of all, he listens. Doesn’t try to tell you how tofeel, or invalidate your thoughts. He’s just there, arms around you, listeningto whatever springs from your mouth.

Decided that for the last few headcanons\drabbles\etc, I’ll be including Leiftan by default! Consider it a parting gift of sorts =)

Ezarel -

He knew it. He fucking knew it.

Hadn’t he said from the beginning? You’d leave the second you had thechance. 

He knew it. He said it. He believedit. And yet he still let himself get attached.

The letter is read over andover again, more out of a perverse need for validation than searching for a hint of yourcurrent location.

Why would he go look for you?You’d made this choice, danger be damned. And if he wasn’t enough to make you stay, what was it that he could do or say that would bring you back?

 Nevra -

If he had it his way, there’dbe a search party scouring every inch of the land for you right now.

But he can’t have it his way,Miiko made sure of that. 

‘It’s for the guard, Nevra.The guard comes first.’ What bullshit.

She was scared of what thehumans could do, so like a spinelesscoward  she sacrificedyou for a temporary peace of mind.

And you. What the hell were you thinking, running away without even aproper goodbye? Didn’t you think thepeople you’d left behind? About him? Did he really mean so little to you?

With you gone Oracle knows where, he’ll never know, and somehow, that makes this awful situation even shittier.

Valkyon -

It takes all the strength hepossesses to stop himself from chasing you down.

Regardless of how he feelsabout the situation, you chose this. It was your decision, and he respects it

But dammit,it hurts. 

Anything to could happen toyou and he’d never know. Even now youmight be suffering and there’s nothing he can do.

Oracle, he wished you insisted someone go with you. It didn’t even have to be him. Just someone youtrusted to shadow you until you were safe.

There’s no doubt in his mindthat he’ll never stop wondering what became of you.

 Leiftan -

Unlike Valkyon, Leiftandoesn’t bother restraining himself; he searches the guard for you immediately.

And, of course, he findsnothing. It’s infuriating… and saddening.

Were you so unhappy here thatyou’d leave with only a letter for him to remember you by?

Why hadn’t you said anything?There’s nothing he wouldn’t do to make you happy - not a damn thing.

It’s too late for thosethoughts now though. You’ve left, and he has limited time to find you.

I should really stop making these so long - it’s making it very hard to maintain a constant schedule.

Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy this scenario =)

Inhindsight, charging headfirst intouncharted territory because you were pissed at the resident science nerd (Alchemynerd?) might not have been the smartest decision.

Neitherwas exploring that cave without the appropriate gear – namely, your weapons. Inyour defence, it was supposed to be arelatively safe area, how were you supposed to know there’d be a Kerit livingthere? Weren’t those things indigenous to the Savannah or something?

Butyou know what they say, hindsight’s 20/20. Not that you could see very well,sweat blurring your vision as you rushed through the vegetation.

Behind you the roars and snarls of thebear-like monstrosity grew ever louder, spurring you on. You knew you couldn’tcontinue like this. Despite your initial headstart on the beast – being whackedacross the cave really helped, though you hadn’t thought so at the time – itwas gaining quickly, you could already feel your side burning something fierceand doubted you could maintain this pace much longer.

A plan was needed. But between the runningfor your life and constant flow of ‘OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD’ in your mind,there wasn’t really any time to think. Which is why when the person you leastwanted to see barreled into you, you almost sobbed with relief.

Aw, thank you! ^///^ Of course you can; c’mere!

I won’t lie, when I saw this my mind jumped right into another fandom of mine, so these hcs are heavily based on that.

Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy. =)

Ezarel -

Straight up calls you a liar.

A lot of things are possiblein the world of fae: giants, four-armed wonders, fucking horsemen but gods?Nope. Too far-fetched.

He’s especially condescendingabout it, explaining how the ‘gods’ the humans used to worship are simplypowerful fae all up to the point where your form ripples and you turn into whatcan only be described as a divine monstrous reaper.

That shuts him up sharpish.

Nevra -

Is equally doubtful as Ez,but at least he isn’t rude about it.

He does tease you forthinking you’re some kind of demigod though, pointing out that while your beauty might be heavenly - causing you toroll your eyes - there’s no way such a thing is possible.

You quickly demonstrate that,yes, it is possible when you set ablaze, pulling a gigantic sword from thin air and slam it into the ground withenough force to leave a crater.

Nevra’s stunned, confused andin dire need of some answers.

 Valkyon -

Doesn’t know much about godsand the like, but they’re not usually interested in humans, right?

Still, he gives you benefitof the doubt, asking about your divine parent and what’s it like being ademigod.

At some point, the idea ofsparring so he can see your powers in action comes up and you both prepare todo battle.

At the end of the spar,Valkyon’s awed and a little scared.

He’s never seen such power inhis life, and knowing that you, the tiny thing he always thought neededprotecting, are much stronger than he could be is a tad humbling.

 Leiftan -

Immediately asks if you’reokay.

There’s no way you can be ademigod. It’s Impossible. The old gods have long since lost interest in thelives of mortals: humans and fae alike.

But your display of power, asummoning of the grim reaper itself, proves that what you say is the truth.

He’s torn between excitementand fear. 

Not that he fears you, ofcourse. You’re much too reasonable to act in the destructively dismissive wayof the deities past.

Nope, it’s big, bad dad (ormum, you weren’t exactly clear) that has him shivering. From the sounds ofthings, they’re quite protective of you and if they were to find out he hasdesigns on their daughter…