Rat Bastard

"homer was a real person" "homer wasnt a real person" "homer was real and he was a woman" enough of this debate. homer IS real and if youre currently reading the iliad or odyssey youre homer now

homer is real and he is married.to marge :)

i hate being here i want to be home doing weed and gay shit

Same but without the gay shit

actually supervillains with kid hero nemeses are hysterical bc if i was a billionaire and i found out the kid who was also my nemesis was a preteen orphan i would simply adopt them. oh you’re going to stop my nefarious schemes? how when you’re grounded. go to your room

the trick is be a good parent so they don’t wanna fight you. son if you topple my criminal empire how will i pay for your college? reverse batmanning

Weaponized guilt. Son you’re out on a school night? When you have that big science test tomorrow? I thought you’d be studying…getti g some rest…no I’m not mad I’m just. Well a little disappointed I guess. What do you mean this wouldn’t be happening if I’d stop robbing banks their insurance covers it son money isn’t real

Who’s this guy is he your “sidekick”? That’s so cute when are you having him over for dinner. I’m not teasing I think it’s sweet I’m glad you’re making friends. Side note how durable is he I’m about to throw a car at you

i can fix him *traumatizes him*

parents when their kids exhibit symptoms of neurodivergency 

i can fix him *traumatizes him*

parents when their kids exhibit symptoms of neurodivergency 

U know when ur hairs greasy and it makes u feel so so so bad about urself. And ur entire life. Everything is awful bc my hair is greasy

i don’t believe in torture methods but i do believe jeff bezos should be forced to work in one of his amazon warehouses for the rest of his life and also in hell when he dies forever and ever and demons should poke and prod his shitty body if he stops for even one second

clap if you think he should suffer

I love girls so much hiiii girls

actually NFT is the token that proves ownership. the hideous randomly generated furry character you're thinking of is NFT's Monster.

If you're at my funeral and you think it's a little boring, just spice it up. Drink a little too much. Flirt with a few people here and there. Start a fight. It's what I would've wanted

staring into the bathroom mirror gripping the sink and telling myself "you are not uniquely horrible you are literally just some guy"

Happy anniversary, you stupid fucks!

when hamsters are born they see a silver thread that connects them to their gruesome and peculiar death and they follow it like soldiers marching to war.