jinkies!

“it’s so boring, mai,” he says —- with a sigh and a slight laugh, as if to say you’re so boring, mai. this is so boring, mai. waiting for you is so boring, mai. did i expect anything else? and really, it just comes out of him. stumbles past his lips. slips out of his tongue. whatever you want to call being too tired to even think of what to say.

and it’s not the sleepy kind of tired, not the school deadlines are unreasonable tired, not swim practice until twelve tired. because suji is very much awake, probably more so now than he has been for the past few weeks.

but this is draining his energy —- being around her, wanting to be around her, trying to spend time with her and feeling like he’s bothering her.

and it’s not that he thinks she’s boring. in fact, he thinks she’s one of the most interesting people in the world. it’s just that this is boring. waiting is boring, and he’s always been a little restless, and she’s always kept him waiting.

she’s an observant girl. she has to be. so while the message behind his words is sort of blurred, she still picks up on the fact that there is something behind them. her grip around the can tightens slightly, tiny beads of condensation slowly trailing down her wrist.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” it comes out in a sharper tone than she intended, or maybe she did mean for it to sound like that. accusatory. frankly, she doesn’t care — well, she shouldn’t care. there’s no point in trying to patch things up at this rate. let the bridges burn for all she cares.

euiin just had dinner and he could already feel the pasta trying to make its way back up from where it came. no, euiin isn’t sick, nor did he eat to fast, he just can’t help but feel sick to his stomach during moments like these, moments where he was on assignment for psic. after hearing the stories, reading the legends that circulated around, it is no wonder the boy felt like this.

with hands gripped tightly on his camera that’s hung around his neck, euiin follows mai, the psic leader, closely – very closely.

              “are you sure this is it?”

euiin gulps at that and adds,

               “what is down there again?”

the photographer knew all to well what was down there, but he would rather hear it from mai, herself. maybe he’s got the story all wrong? maybe there’s no ghost of a student? maybe there’s just a refrigerator full of ice cream?

he has to stop in his tracks as soon as the club leader turns around, he was that close to bumping into her if he hadn’t.

euiin pouts at her teasing before clearing his throat, trying to shake the fear of his voice,

               “h-hey, I’m not.”

if that was graded, he’d probably earn a C- ‘cause it wasn’t all that convincing.

his eyes light up in surprise from the older’s kind offer. he doesn’t bother thinking about it and holds her hand in a heartbeat,

              “u-uhm…”

with his hand now on clasped on mai’s, euiin chews on his bottom lip, looking for the perfect excuse,

              “i’m not holding your hand because I’m scared okay? I’m just holding it because –because maybe you’re scared,”

he grins at that with his braces on full display, hoping the girl would buy it.

“did you already forget what i told you earlier?”

mai playfully huffs, phone in hand for flashlight purposes. technically, still a rule broken, but does she care?

no, not particularly.

“there’s a ghost of a female student down there. supposedly, we’ll be able to hear her sobbing in this hallway, and if we’re really lucky, we’ll see her ourselves.” she deliberately makes her tone in the end somewhat sinister to tease euiin.

she can’t help but laugh a little when she sees him pout, reminding her of a petulant child almost. 

“hm, yeah, you’re not scared, and i’m not currently on the hunt for ghosts. sounds about right.”

she laughs again, squeezing his hand and continuing to walk, leading him as if he’s a little kindergartener. honestly, he does remind her of one sometimes. such as now.

“oh, i’m terrified. my bones are shaking!”

a few more steps and mai stops right before the infamous hallway with the younger student in tow. “here we are.” she turns to face euiin with a grin. “so, if you get spooked, please don’t throw your camera at the ghost.”

she leans in closer.

“i don’t think she’d appreciate it.”

gave you a minute when you needed an hour / @infmai

he lined up the bottles and set out the cups. while everyone watched the sunset from the balcony, he basked in the silence of the kitchen. plastic and glass bumping, fumbling, stumbling against each other clumsily.

their elbows brushed —- yet another reminder that it was the first time in fourteen days that they didn’t have entire oceans between them. but, who was counting? who was wondering if all the conversations they ever had were real? who was beginning to think that her smile was just something he saw out of a dream? 

suji. he was wondering.

and he was wondering, and thinking, and trying not feel as raw as sandpaper-scrubbed-skin but he couldn’t help himself. maybe he had dried blood under his fingernails, but he still didn’t know how anyone could be so… cold. “maybe…” he started, holding a can of beer, thinking of some way or another to make an age-old drinking game more creative, “something like… have you played the beer tower?” and it was something about the way he said it, like he was saying something else entirely.

if this took place two weeks ago, the smile on mai’s face wouldn’t be forced.

it’s not all fake though. there’s some genuine amusement in her expression when the other members brush and stumble against her. these gatherings are meant to be amusing, fun, a means to forget about their shitty school for a few hours. she drinks from her can of beer, then stares at him.

there’s no way of avoiding him here.

now she’s made plenty of mistakes, and continues to do so, but this isn’t what she would consider a mistake. there was something to learn here, and it’s that with her mind occupied by thoughts of things that possibly don’t even exist, nakano mai is not capable of devoting her attention to those that deserve it. there’s some irony in that, she thinks. in other words, she’s a terrible girlfriend. but hey, at least she’s aware of it now. 

lesson learned.

           (  @infmai​  )

          𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚎 had convinced himself to not be eaten by anger  ,  by frustration  .  to settle things down civilly  ,  no argument  ,  just a healthy conversation between them   —   but somehow  ,  he just can’t hold it all too long  .  sometime he wonders why he managed to forgive her over  ,  and over again  .  one mistake after another  ,  he still find himself orbiting around her and he hates himself to actually feel use to whatever happened just now  ;  like he expected it to happened, only the matter of time  .  he wonders what make him forgive her over and over again and perhaps it is because her midnight hair still flowing like a river and eyes that are like little rabbit  ,  jumping from one thing to another  —  how very lively it is  ,  and lips that are kind of tiny and puckered  ;  reminds him on how cute she looked like back then, and she still is  .  and mind that carries thousand  ,  and thousand mad ideas and curiousity  .  

     »   nakama  !  jesus——     «

     »  you—   «

     » jesus fucking christ——   «

sometimes edmund does that  .  he tries to actually angry at her  ,  really meant to scold her properly to actually be careful on the plants  ,  but he found himself too caught up in his anger and the side of not wanting to scold his childhood friend  .  so when he wants to say something  ,  he will end up with no words at all  .  almost like a cat got his tongue  .  no further words come out of him, no korean words  ,  no english words  ,  nothing  .  just edmund open and close his mouth in frustration  .

      »   are you out of your mind  ?!  what have you done  ?!   «

despite being a proud member of the gardening club for two years, plants and mai have never gotten along. a part of her feels terrible for the number of plant deaths, cacti included, that she’s responsible for. then again, it’s not that she does it on purpose. it just happens. most of the time, it’s because she’s somehow watering the plant wrong. but there are also other circumstances, such as today’s, that are a little more complicated.

actually, no. it’s not complicated at all.

it’s just another case of mai letting her excitement get the best of her, paired with her lack of spatial awareness. this brings them to where they are now: the greenhouse, with a broken pot spilling out its dirty ( pun intended ) contents on the floor. the culprit? none other than nakano mai, whose now-dirt stained shoes betray her innocence.

that, and edmund witnessed the whole disaster unfold when she came running in to find him.

“hey, watch your tone,” she scowls, though it doesn’t mean anything. her scowls and glares hardly mean anything when they’re directed at her best friend. she could never get properly angry at him, and neither could he at her. 

it’s great.

if you’re my BEST FRIEND  ,   i shouldn’t have to ask you to lie for me  .  i shouldn’t have to ask your PERMISSION for me to put you in my lie  .  you know why  ?   ‘cause you’re my BEST fucking FRIEND  ,  bitch  .  that’s your job  .  the day that we signed up and said that we best friends  ,  that means that MY bullshit is YOUR bullshit  &  your bullshit is my bullshit.

Arrival In Nara | Alt-J