wishful thinking

I built a wall with a door in it. The door is not locked, just terribly heavy. From my side, I watch your shadow pass, and my hand floats up—a pale, quiet flag— to trace the shape of you on the stone. Come closer, I think, until you do. Then the air changes. A old, cold alarm sounds in my bones. This warmth you bring is a language I've forgotten how to speak. My smile stiffens. My words retreat. Please stay, but also, please go now. I dream of a bridge, sturdy and wide, but when I try to cross, I find myself sawing at the planks, one by one, marveling at the splash they make in the chasm below. It’s not you. It’s the echo after you, the terrible silence I know too well. So I live in the in-between, in the draft of the door I cannot open or shut. Loving you from a distance that feels like safety, hating the distance that feels like a cage. A creature of want, and a creature of flight, forever circling a fire I lit myself. Overcome FA Tendencies with This Workbook

I still love this website so much because it feels like the last connection we have to an internet that doesn’t exist anymore like I can come on here and scroll through posts that are literally just funny or beautiful or interesting with no intention to sell me something or influence me we are all just here for a laugh. Nothing is just for laughs anymore EXCEPT tumblr dot com

crazy how I think I'm not brave enough to do some things and then I just go and get them done. and it's always like this

That 40 min walk to nowhere particular Will save your life

it really is all about love i think. like that’s our whole purpose

man I love loving

it really is all about love i think. like that’s our whole purpose

I love sitting down in the evening and trying to decide what activity I should do to unwind and then realizing an hour later that I have neither done an activity nor unwound

Sometimes killing myself doesn't feel like enough. Sometimes I think I need to be erased from history