DEAR READER

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

oozey mess
wallacepolsom
Sade Olutola
h
One Nice Bug Per Day
Today's Document

JVL
Sweet Seals For You, Always
trying on a metaphor
NASA
we're not kids anymore.
d e v o n
Three Goblin Art

titsay
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

Jules of Nature
seen from Russia
seen from United Arab Emirates

seen from France

seen from Mexico

seen from Malaysia
seen from Germany
seen from Mexico

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Austria
seen from United States
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seen from United States
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seen from Singapore
@infamousserendipity

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cheating is not “bound to happen” i’ve been alive almost 24 years and not once have i ever thought “hey i wonder what it’d be like to go outside of my relationship and destroy a persons self esteem and ability to trust”
never bitch
cheating is an active choice. its not second nature. and if it is second nature to you, then you need to do some real soul searching and figure out what the fuck went wrong in your life
i hate how reward systems never work for me like i can’t just say “if i finish this assignment i can have a cookie” bc my brain is like “…..or u could just have one right now” and i can’t argue with that logic
Self-imposed deadlines don’t work either because I know the guy who set them and he’s full of shit
I had a realization the other day that seems obvious in retrospect, but I hadn’t put these two things together before.
I was telling my mom that I’m kind of dreading having a private practice someday because it’ll mean working lots of late nights to accommodate my clients’ schedules and make enough money, and as I know from working 12-8 last year, that’ll wreck my social life. She was like, “So you’ll have a social life on the weekends.” And I’m like, and what, spend every weekday night alone in my apartment because it’s too late to go out and see people? She gave me this knowing look and was like, “Well, hopefully you won’t be *alone*…”
That’s when it hit me that this thing–this whole monogamous couple/nuclear family ideal thing–directly enables work to take over our entire lives. Because, yes, if I had someone living in my house–in my bedroom, even–who prioritizes me higher than anyone else in his (because, let’s face it, it would always be a he in this scenario) life, who doesn’t sleep with or date any other people, who treats his free time as our shared time, who drops plans with friends or family the moment I need him, who convincingly promises to never leave me–if I had someone like that, and if I believed in that fantasy, then yes, I’d be fine working late every night and coming home at 9. I could see my friends on weekends sometimes, but I wouldn’t *need* to because I’d never be lonely or bored.
Because however you look at it, cultivating and maintaining a group of friends and a broader social circle or community takes more effort–especially more *intentional* effort–than cultivating just one person with whom you share your life. When we have to work unreasonable hours just to get by, guess which one’s more likely to fall by the wayside?
No wonder it feels like my like-minded friends and I are constantly wading through waist-deep snowdrifts. It’s not set up to work the way we want it to. Yes, life would be easier if I had someone who is always a few yards (or less) away from me when we’re not at work and who can provide romance, friendship, emotional support, entertainment, household help, financial assistance, AND hot sex (and maybe eventually co-parenting) without me ever needing to seek out other people or even leave the house. But that’s…horrifying.
Remember that the nuclear family ideal (husband/wife/child as the entire family unit) is an aberration of the 20th century. Everyone else in the world for almost all of human history has lived in large groups, either tribes or extended families, usually a blend of both. When a woman married she joined her husband’s family, or he joined hers, but humans have generally always lived in large groups with multiple generations sharing space for all of our history.
Our western experiment with making two people entirely dependent on each other for all of the emotional support normal people get from a large extended family group is part of the reason we’ve got a high divorce rate. One person isn’t enough to sustain another entirely.
I just confessed last night to my gf that I was missing something, that I was lonely in a way, that it wasn’t her fault, and she understood that, and she told me that she supports anything I would need to do to feel more connected; make more friends, hang out more with the ones I have, visit my family, etc. but in a way I wasn’t comforted by it at all because I think on some level I understand that at the end of the day when I’m tired and come home she’s the person there - the person who society has told me all my life would fulfill all my needs - and it’s just not realistic or true!
it’s a much bigger problem than us not being perfect for each other. this whole system is flawed. I wish I did live in a real community, in a giant complex with my friends and family. that archaic desire has never gone away. and now that I’m older and most of my life consists of work and I’m no longer in school I feel like I have a reduced sense of community and I feel it on a visceral level sometimes.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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There are two ways to be happy: change the situation, or change your mindset towards it.
Unknown (via deeplifequotes)
More inspiring quotes here
You have to go through the worst to get the best.
Unknown (via deeplifequotes)
One. Do not promise when you’re happy. Two. When you are angry, do not respond. Three. Do not decide when you’re sad.
This is so important. (via c-oquetry)
Don’t stress yourself out over things you can’t control or change.
http://twitter.com/goodquoteco (via kushandwizdom)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Everything happens for a reason. Positive or negative. You create the meaning for yourself.
http://twitter.com/goodquoteco (via kushandwizdom)
Just because it isn’t happening right now doesn’t mean it never will
I pray that I always stay focused on the bigger picture, and never lose sight of my goals. Amen.
(via kushandwizdom)
(via kushandwizdom)
Sometimes things are great! Sometimes… they’re really, really not. This is my personal plan for fixing everything when I don’t know what to do, and I thought other people might find it helpful. If you identify with this sentiment, but don’t think this is the right way for you to work on the problems you’re facing, that’s totally fine, and sometimes these aren’t things to work through by yourself.
This is what works for me, but really consider what your goals are and consider this as less of a how-to and more of possible framework to figure out where you want to go. A lot of this also refers to managing things within my apartment that aren’t super applicable if you aren’t the one responsible for your own groceries say. Use what’s useful and skip what’s not. You’ve got this.
Step One: Breathe, baby. This probably feels awful, whatever’s going on. Icky maybe. And that’s something that should change, but before the visible problems can shift, take a look at how you’re taking care of yourself right now. This step is the reset button - just a beginner’s step in areas that are central and maybe stressing you out. Stop the cycle of whatever was throwing you off.
I like to start with the executive function stuff. There might be a lot you feel like you have a lot to do - it’s been a while since things have been good about notes on all those readings, right? But unless there’s something absolutely 100% immediate and pressing, this first:
Drink some water. Wash your water bottle or a cup you like to drink from. Just one dish. The rest of them can wait just a little bit longer. Keep remembering to drink water. You’ll feel better.
How’s your room? Can you do some laundry? Get some things in the trash? Make your bed? Start with a single task that will get some things off the floor, but doesn’t feel scary. Leave the rest of it. You can fix it later.
When was the last time you ate something? Has it been a while? If there’s something at home, good. Eat that. If there isn’t, go pick something up from somewhere you feel safe. Worry about vegetables later. Eat anything right now.
Find somewhere you feel comfortable. Pick something acheivable. Do that thing. Whatever you’re ready for. Nothing scary. Nothing heavy. Spend some doing enough work that you feel like you’re being productive again; like you’ve finished something because you have! Then come back. Do you feel better?
In the interest of space, the rest is under the cut. :)
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Eventually all things fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moments, and know everything happens for a reason.
(via words-of-emotion)
(via words-of-emotion)