M

hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.

hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy

hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it

hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently

hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love

You’re too good to be true

INSERT CHARACTER X READER

You both are slow dancing, alone. As the songs go from one ear to another. Your so close to each other. Only centimeters away. You look them in the eyes, and they radiate such aura you never witnessed before.

An aura.. an aura that radiates love. An aura that radiates safety, and vulnerability. A presence that makes you feel safe, a presence that makes you feel at home. The feeling makes your heart have butterflies. The moment is just generally, so sweet and pure. As you both are giggling, and look at each other with such adoration.

As you both are just lost in the moment, they pull you close. Closer than ever. So close that you can feel their breath, as they lean in, and give you a passionate kiss.

But. Even if you can feel their warmth, even if you can feel their touch. Something is a bit.. off. As if, there’s a boundary seperating you both, no matter how close you are. The barrier is present.

Knowing this. Tears start to spill and stain your cheeks. Seeing this, had made them worried, as they cup your cheeks with a worried face. Cooing to calm you down.

“I’m sorry.. I didn’t know you wouldn’t like that, I’m really sorry. I should’ve asked.” They say feeling sorry.

“N-no. You did nothing wrong. It’s just.” You struggle to form your words.

They tilt their head slightly, feigning confusion, as they kiss your forehead, in an attempt to calm you down.

You gathered up enough courage, as the next words you will say, you know will shatter your heart, in more than a million pieces.

“No matter how hard I try, no matter how close you are. I know..” you couldn’t say the next word, as you hug them tightly, a river of tears start to spill and stain your face.

“That I’m not real..” they whispered meekly, as their tone cleared that they were just as sad as you were. If not more.

You grip and hug them so tightly. For you are afraid they’ll disappear, for you want to be with them till the end of time. Although fate forbids you so.

“Why can’t you be here? Why can’t you be real? Real and here with me? Why must we be separated, by the boundary of reality and fiction?” You protest, as the world just had to be so cruel.

You say, with tears, anger and sorrow clearly evident in your eyes.

“Why must I fall, for someone I haven’t even seen?, for someone I haven’t met face to face? Why must I fall, for someone I know won’t be real?”

Hearing this, made their heart crack. But they still managed to give you a soft smile, as they solace and pull you closer.

“I know I’m not real, I’m sorry. But I promise, in another reality. I will be yours.” They say, as they give you another kiss.

And as they say those last words. You close your eyes, open them once more.

To see that you were alone. Reality hit you.

They were never here in the first place.