telling people to "be grateful" for the good things they have when they live(d) a traumatic life often misses the mark completely
being depressed is a natural and understandable response to trauma. it's not an issue of whether the person is grateful for what they have or not. it's not an issue fo character.
it's about human, emotional pain. it's about how they've lost hope for themselves. telling someone who's lost that to be grateful for things outside themselves can be deeply invalidating.
sometimes what someone needs isn't a reminder to be grateful for the good things they have. sometimes people need to be reminded that they deserve the good things they have, in spite of all the bad things that happened to them.
trauma can leave you with sense of worthlessness or helplessness. you think it's your fault. you think you should be better than this. you think no one can or will help you. you forget that people really can & do love you.
gratitude comes after believing you actually deserve any of the good things "you should feel grateful" for in the first place. happiness and joy come from there. you don't get any of that if you just moralize someone else's distress.
people deserve to feel like they matter and their pain is seen with depth - not just the same toxic positivity over and over. self-gratitude is important too.