I NEED EYEGLASSES

After hanging in the midair for four years, we finally get to hit the ground and see what that cliffhanger from Season 3 will lead us to. Veronica Mars has the most loyal fans even going their way to fund the movie. You see this is how badly people want to know will it be Logan or will it be Piz? Well, partly. The other reason being we miss the quips, the puns, the father-daughter bonding, the detectiving and the most lovable characters ever made for TV.

If you don’t have enough time to watch the whole three seasons of the TV series, there is a five minute TL:DR introduction for the film. Veronica Mars is now a lawyer in New York on her way to the top after climbing from the rubbles, dating a great, great looking man, and is about to become an ultimate law school success story. And then one call sent her digging back into those rubbles that she has so desperately escaped for nine years. That call came from Logan Echolls, who is now looking regal in a white military uniform, still driving an expensive car, still equipped with loads of charm and still being accused of murder.

What will Veronica Mars do?

If you have been a fan of the TV series, you’ll know what she will do. She’s the same Veronica Mars who gets obsessed with solving a case. She’s the same Veronica Mars who says “how high?” when Logan Echolss says “jump”. She’s the same Veronica Mars who does the exact opposite of what her dad says. She’s the same Veronica Mars, only with a law degree.

Let me just add how I pictured this whole epic would end. I had imagined Piz and Veronica in New York being successful. Veronica helps out Logan but eventually gets back to Piz. But then again, that would lack drama.

If you loved the series, you’ll enjoy the film with the characters resurrected in their hotter adult version. Dick Casablancas aged well as evident in the first shots of him wearing a wetsuit down to his hip. Mac outgrew her baby fats and has a hairstyle that belongs to an art museum. Wallace has ditched the afro.  Weevil looks the same but is not the outlaw biker that he used to be.

"We used to be friends a long time ago."...

Remember that song? Of course you do. If someone asks me what is my favorite TV series of all time, I'd say "Veronica Mars" in a heartbeat.

In the light of the upcoming movie, I'm going to rewatch and review as many Veronica Mars episodes as I can until March 14. So yeah, bring it on, bring it on.

The first Veronica Mars episode is titled "Pilot", and the first character introduced was Neptune High. And then the almost naked Wallace Fennell, strapped in a flagpole. Veronica then saved him. Welcome to Neptune High.

What kept the series compelling is the sass in Kristen Bell's narration (probably the reason why she was chosen to narrate Gossip Girl). Veronica tells us that she moonlights as a private investigator and she then introduces every relevant character using the voice in her mind. She pauses and appears pensive and then we hear her internal monologue. It makes us feel like we are investigating this series ourselves. Or it's three o'clock in the morning and I've been feeling things. Also, it makes it easier for my slow mind to follow the story.

Veronica also tells us the story of how her best friend Lily Kane was found bathing in her own blood beside the family's swimming pool. Lily is Duncan Kane's sister. Duncan is Veronica's boyfriend. Kieth Mars, Veronica's father, the local sheriff, suspected that Lily was murdered by her own father, software billionaire Jake Cane. Someone later admitted to the crime disproving his accusations. From then on, Veronica's life went from the adored blonde girl next door to the outcasted badass noir chick. Her mother left leaving her a music box and a note. Duncan kind of dumped him. And every one in Neptune pretty much hated her. Everyone except her father. And their dog Backup. Oh and now Wallace Fennell too.

And after Veronica helped Wallace escape from the evil PCH bikers, saw her mom's car outside Jake Kane's motel, the well written episode closes with a promise, Veronica will find out what happened to Lily and bring her family back together.

The reason why I watch this show over and over and over and over are the scenes where Veronica argues with the different men in her life. She is surrounded by men with such strong personality yet her badassery out-powers them. There's Logan Echolls, Neptune High's obligatory psychotic jackass and Lily's ex whose past time is to make Veronica regret she was once friends with him but Veronica ends up tricking him into retreating inside his fancy truck. There's Weevil, the leader of the local bike group, whose outlaw ways always intersects with Veronica's PI tasks but she managed to con him into physically defending her. There's Wallace, new who managed to piss off the local bikers and the sheriff, also Veronica's eventual best friend, whom she persuaded to be her own go-to accomplice. And of course, Kieth Mars, the very efficient private eye who could track down difficult to find bail jumpers, but by the end of the day Veronica could make him surrender and watch South Park with her.

Another reason why I watch this show, look at Veronica's outfit.

In as much as I would like to claim that I am an ardent film fan, it shames me to admit that I have no clue what this movie is all about. I see Jennifer Lawrence on the poster. And strange looking Christian Bale and Bradley Cooper. Other than those, I am a clean slate when it comes to this movie. Despite that, being a brave, open minded, worshiper of cinema that I am, I went with my friends to see it. And yes, you read it right, I have friends.

The first scene baffled the shit out of me, a semi-bald Christian Bale putting on a wig. As if his bloated belly is already not weird enough, he has a full on dad beard that is just all over his face. This man would cut his foot off if that means perfectly getting in the character. The movie is set, in 1978.In a decade where the badassery of beards, along with the tweed jackets, chest hair, elephant pants etc were originally invented. Amy Adams and her bare chest then enter the scene tugging a kinky haired and bearded Bradley Cooper. I had to adjust my brain for a while because it was all too weird for me. Batman, Lois Lane and they would have been Green Lantern, all in one scene wearing clothes out of a Wes Anderson film. And then came Jeremy Renner, Hawkeye joining the crew.

The story revolves around Christian Bale and Amy Adams' character; they are con artists who have fallen in the hands of a Fed seeking a name for him, played by Bradley Cooper. One person conned the others, then the others conned that one person. It’s about what's fake and what's real. Jeremy Renner got mixed up in all of these cons. And Jennifer Lawrence's honest character as the alcoholic wife of Christian Bale did not help the situation either. Eventually, everyone got what they deserved, some changed some did not. The writers followed a troupe or two and the actors did well maintaining the characters genuinely. I have never seen Christian Bale as an overweight man, I have never seen Amy Adams trashed and wasted, I have never seen Bradley Cooper with too much chest hair but they made me forget the actors and be engrossed with the characters. Jeremy Renner especially did really well, he'll rouse your suspicion and he'll get your sympathy the next. He also looks mad fun mouthing the words of Tom Jones' "Delilah".

Oh and the most bonus performance of all, Louis CK as Bradley Coopers FBI mentor. There is something about his voice that makes you listen whenever he tells a story. In this film, he tells Bradley Cooper a story, which was then repeated as the main metaphor of their relationship.

To not spoil everyone who has plans of watching the film, David O. Russell's American Hustle is a con film, intricately written with catchy dialogue and a Robert de Niro appearance. Unlike some crime centered film, no one died (except for some unimportant random dude) and there was virtually no violence (except from Jennifer Lawrence's reenactment of her emotionally violent Silver Linings Playbook character), only pure trickery. It is almost safe to say that it is a heartwarming con film.

A little back story here, I watched Dawson’s Creek as a kid, when this episode came out, I was 9. I vaguely remember anything, the most vivid memory I have of Dawson’s Creek is of course the intro song. It was ubiquitous back then. I was exchanging TV series with my best friend the other day, and I saw this on her hard drive, I figured I’d copy it and transport myself back to the cheesy 90’s.

The Pilot opens with a shot of Dawson’s Creek, of course, and pans up close to Dawson and Joey watching Psycho. Katie Holmes is just too cute (I’m just going to use this word because it has never been appropriate) with her cheeks and crooked smile. James van der Beek looks like a 90’s poster boy. And then they argue about Gandhi winning Oscars over  Psycho. Dawson drops some Stephen Spielberg “Peter Pan Syndrome“comments. Both show hints of being ardent film geeks.

I’m just going to assume everyone else know this show’s story. I mean, I kind of know its theme. Joey and Dawson are best friends since they were kids. Joey climbs a ladder to Dawson’s window to sleep in his room every night. Then the pilot creates a conflict that would stir that friendship, emerging hormones. Joey raises a logical thought to Dawson, them having gone through some bodily changes might affect their relationship. Joey being a female and Dawson being a guy he just shrugs it off. Both goes to sleep and into the awkwardness of being a teenager.

Cut to the song! I swear I sing along to this song every time I hear it. It’s crazy.

And then, shots of Joey sun bathing on the dock, a monster comes up from the water and grabs her and Dawson screams ‘cut!’ It turns out they’re shooting a film. The monster takes his monster head off to reveal a cute Joshua Jackson! (I might use the word ‘cute’ a lot in this review). Camera switches to a cab, the door opens and reveals a hot Michelle Williams. Dawson and Pacey (Joshua Jackson) enter Dawson’s house. Pacey switches shirts! He was wearing a different shirt on the way to the house. Anyway, they enter the doors just in time to see Dawson’s parents humping on the coffee table.  I had a feeling that more scenes like this are going to come.

Every important character has been introduced so far which is makes the story really easy to follow.

As if the teenage life is not cringe worthy enough, next scenes follow Pacey and Dawson working in a video store where a considerably hot old woman walks in and Pacey flirts with her. True to this shows loyalty to pop culture allusions, she rents “The Graduate”. Cringe-fest.

Dawson goes home and sees Jen sitting on the dock. Cue the generic 90’s pop song. He goes and talk to her, about what else? Movies. Then Dawson drops my favorite line of the show so far “I reject reality” when Jen asks him why he likes movies. He then invites Jen to see his Spielberg donned boy cave. Joey catches the two while she climbs her ladder. Jen goes home and Joey enters Dawson's room. She pretends she did not see Jen. Dawson then starts an argument about his suspicion that his mother is sleeping with her co-anchor. Joey strongly disagrees saying Dawson is always looking for a conflict in his perfect life.  These two are too smart to be 15 year-olds.

Next scenes follow Jen’s relationship with her grandparents.  Her gramps especially is conservative and do not want her to hang out with Joey and Dawson. Jen declares she’s an atheist and the look on her grandmother’s face is priceless.  

Cut to Capeside High School, another main character of the show, I suppose.  Dawson is starting to play his “I’ll walk you to your class” card with Jen. Hmmm. I went through that phase too Dawson. And then come more scenes of Dawson declaring his love for film. It is quite commendable. Jen and Dawson are becoming noticeably chummy, much to Joey’s jealousy. Also, the hot older woman whom Pacey flirted with is actually his new English teacher. Yaay high school!

Fast forward to the gang deciding to watch a movie so Pacey could go on flirting with his English teacher. Pacey invites Dawson to appear inconspicuous. Dawson invites Jen, well because he likes her. And somehow Dawson also invites Joey to appear like they’re having a double date at the movies. Conflict rises when Joey starts making sarcastic jokes about Jen, well, because Dawson is not saying a word to her and his attention is a hundred percent focused on Jen. And then a confrontation follows. Joey then throws a big “Stop living in the movies, grow up” speech not just at Dawson, but also at me.

The pilot ends with Pacey somehow kissing his teacher. I loved The Graduate but again, cringe-fest. Dawson on the other hand was not able to kiss Jen (a pretend kiss does not count as a kiss, duh). And Joey and Dawson had another long argument on how adulthood is going to affect their lives because there are things they can’t tell each other anymore. But the two settles the argument just like typical teenagers bickering, only their argument is a bit more well put than most adult arguments I’ve heard in real life.  

Apart from the cinematic allusions, what I like about Dawson’s Creek is that you can watch a scene and say that I went through the same situation, except the kissing your teacher part (in my case that is). 

This book has been sitting on my bedside table judging me for neglecting it for almost a month, and because of the cold weather, I finally got to jump on bed with my sweatpants and sweatshirt and read this Pulitzer Prize awardee.

If you hate spoilers, please jump to paragraph numero tres.

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao is not just about the story of Oscar, it is a collection of intertwined stories of an immigrant family from Dominican Republic, told by a slightly reliable narrator, who rarely includes himself in the stories. Oscar, the main character of this story, is a stereotypical geek who in his younger days could not get a girl. Lola is Oscar's beautiful but conflicted sister and was established as the love of the narrator's life (if only he manned up and fought for her). Hypatia is Oscar and Lola's dictator of a mom. Every character has their own story, of struggle that originated from the ancient DR belief of 'fuku' or a curse handed down from generation to generation. Every story has their own ending, of loss and love (but mostly loss).

And because the whole title itself is a huge spoiler, yes, Oscar did die. It is what kept me turning the pages. How will he die? Why did he die? I initially thought that he'd kill himself but Oscar is too big of a sci-fi/fantasy fan for suicide. Nobody killed himself in Lord of the Rings. Nobody killed himself in Star Trek. Nobody killed himself in Star Wars. At least not with the intention of directly ending his pain, and not because of some heroic act. The best thing I personally enjoyed about this book is the pop culture allusion overload, and how it was romantically mashed up with the fictitious/superstitious beliefs of old Dominican Republic. The narrator could go on taking notes of Oscar's somber behavior and then drop a Joy Division from out of nowhere. It makes a reader like me easily grasp the tumultuous years of Oscar Wao. He did die - you might think he is stupid, but in the end he'll redeem himself. Well, like a superhero.

If you have opened this book and was concerned about the recurring lines written in Spanish and not translated in English, just let those lines be, the author is merely trying to be JRR Tolkien but did not have enough time to create a language. But seriously, the Spanish really doesn’t matter, well, it does to native speakers. It is the author’s code of showing respect to his roots. I did not understand some of the lines but I did understand the whole message of the book. And it has bonus Dominican Republic history on the footnotes too.

This is one of those novels with many subplots but the main arc itself is a grand story of bravery and of love. My favorite of all the back stories, is the juxtaposition of the lives of narrator and Oscar. The narrator is a ladies’ man, a stereotypical jock in his younger days who was forced to room with Oscar because he loved Lola. But he did nothing about that love for her. Maybe he did something but not as Watchmen-like as what Oscar has done for the girl he eventually fell in love with. And Oscar was the odd one, the man who stayed a virgin until the last 27 days of his life.

If you are looking for a tragic ending, read this book. If you are looking for a happy ending, read this book. Hispanic or not, you need to read this book. Junot Diaz depicted a story of a man who lived his short life to the fullest, even when everyone else thought he was foolish. 

Alright, I felt dragged by my male friends to watch this, but upon learning that Chris Pine is the new Jack Ryan, I got off work to watch the movie.

If you want to watch this because you think Chris Pine is hot, then you better go home and re-watch Just My Luck, because this movie is the most unflattering I have seen him in. That being out of the way, this movie is, uhhh let me think of a better word, what do you call movies you watch with your dad on Saturday nights? Because that's exactly what this movie is.

I am not familiar with the source material, I know that it is from a famous Tom Clancy novel, hence my male friends wanting to see this film. But basing on what I heard, he was an analyst, who turned out to be a spy who saved great deals of nations (this dude literally stopped World War III from happening), he became the president of the US,and went to have a son who also became a spy for the CIA. All these things are made for the entertainment of espionage enthusiasts, who are currently on the thirty something age range. I have read a few Tom Clancy novels and I enjoyed them. This movie however is not on a Cold War era setting, hence Russia being the antagonist may be a little outdated. But if you just want to go with the producers flow, then you'll just have to ride with the Russian war veteran seeking revenge by blowing up the modern day underground NYC tunnel as an ode to Battle of Waterloo (the painting).

Let me tell you first what I like about this movie, first and the obvious, Kenneth Branagh doing an excellent acting despite the not too convincing Russian accent. His stern facial expression alone, overshadows everyone's performance. There is a point in the film that he vilely stares at Keira Knightly (she plays Jack Ryan's wife) for a whole minute and it plants a "you're gonna be dead" thought in your mind.

So what don't I like about this movie? I have watched enough Jason Bourne, I have watched enough Die Hard and this movies is no different than them. And the source material has a lot of potential, because he is a systematic guy(an analyst!) but then he eventually turned out to be just another man who accidentally gets in the way of two nations bickering.

Overall, Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit is an okay movie. I rarely watch action films, but when I do I want everyone to run around, shoot each other, want to kill each other, blow up each other's cars, and this film has all of that. 

I know. Let me explain. Where I’m from, Doctor Who is not as big as it is where you are from, although I heard about it from my father a few times. Reddit has been talking a lot about it, so after five years someone has finally procured DVDs for me to see why generations and generations have submitted to the series’ charm.

Initially, I intended to write about episodes for this blog, but I’ll make this one an exception and write about the whole ‘season’. (I got so hooked on watching and ended up watching the entire season before I could even write episode reviews. Ha)

Let me tell you first what I love about the show, Christopher Eccleston is fantastic as the Doctor. He complements the dullness of the shows visual by adding his eclectic energy into every scene he is in. I admit I am anal about the imagery I see on the screen, but with Doctor Who, who cares? The Doctor is fun to watch!  

On the other hand, it was a challenge liking Rose. Partly because she is a character I would not get along well with, in real life. She has a strong personality that is initially repulsive but eventually admirable. Her compassion towards living creatures, both on Earth and alien, makes her worthy as the Doctor’s companion. If you hate Rose, wait till the Dalek episode and she’ll surely win you over. After the ninth Doctor regenerated I sort of feared he’ll leave Rose behind, although that fear was preempted by spoiler photos that showed up on my Tumblr dashboard.

It is impossible to include an episode by episode, detailed review so I listed down my top three episodes, being 1.) The Empty Child because it is chilling and it is the first episode where I first saw Captain Jack Harkness. And it is definitely one of those episodes which will stick under your skin. 2.) Bad Wolf because despite the episode drawing Christopher Eccleston’s run as the Doctor to a close, it is thrilling to watch. I had no idea that the season was about to end when I watched it, hence there was no separation anxiety, only pure excitement 3.) Boom Town because no matter how impressed I already was with the Doctor, he impressed me even more with his smooth over the dinner moves with a Slitheen,

So what do I think about the Dalek? They look like salt and pepper shakers blown up and given an electronic voice of my neighbor’s parrot. They are kind of adorable but when they start squealing “exterminate” it makes me want to exterminate them.

(And oh I found a real Dalek salt shaker.)

The time and space travel theme give this series a vast and almost limitless pool of ideas for each episode, and the writers are obviously basking in that freedom. With the ninth doctor, I enjoyed it more when he is facing aliens because there is so much running and escaping. At this point, after finishing the season, I still don’t get why the Doctor is just doing this intergalactic nomadic life. He  just goes back in time or in space and then mess something up and then fix it. For what? For fun? Or is he just serving his purpose as the last remaining time lord? If so, is he happy that he’s doing this? Or is he left with no choice?

If you’re a girl you got to see this movie! It may appear as if it was written to glorify the ‘esquires’, but I saw it as a movie that sealed this whole male are ‘stupid’ deal.

Before I end up in a long rant about why men are stupid, the plot – it’s about a nameless man (yes, credited as man) played by the charming Adam Brody in a quest that covered five states with one goal, to write the wrongs in his past relationships before he gets married. The catch is, [SPOILER] we won’t really know if he really is getting hitched or if he is just using his impending marriage as a bait to get the girls spilling almost forgotten secrets about their relationship with this man.

The movie opened in a pretty hotel in Seattle, with Adam talking to his now married high school girlfriend, they were talking about how he went to a prom with some other girl, and he defending there wasn't anything romantic between him and that particular date. At this point in this movie, the script was a bit hard for me to swallow. Fucking immature man, you’re getting married and you call your ex whom you have not seen or heard of in years and then you dig deep into that long buried dead relationship and as if that is not generally insensitive enough, you ask her if she tweets. Score one for men being stupid. This episode ended with the girl storming out of his room and his life. Also, scene one has to drop the title phrase “Some Girls”, it’s glaring in my screen screaming notice me, notice me!

Next scene is well, yet another pretty hotel in Chicago this time, Adam is meeting another girl, well, woman. This girl so much different from the first girl he met, she has tattoos, smokes inside a serene hotel room, asked him if he wanted to have sex with her, that type of girl, the tough kind. There was so much talk about him being not the marrying type and they ended up not having sex. So minus one to the score we’re counting to keep tabs on how stupid men are.

Another scene, another girl, another hotel, in Boston. The woman he’s meeting looks relatively older than him, and she’s married. She even has her husband downstairs while she casually invited Adam to have sex with her. These talks that he is having with these women, did sound like he is making amends. Asking them if he hurt them, and somehow trying to open the drapes that are covering the view of how at some point those relationships were worth both parties’ time. Again, he did not have sex with this woman, although he almost did. Another point back up for men being stupid, not stupid, but jerk may be. Same thought though.

The fourth girl he met is probably the most interesting persona. The hotel it’s as pretty as the others (much like the girls) and it’s in Seattle. The girl is his best-friend’s little sister, whom he literally molested when she was 11 and he was 16. It did not feel like it was something painful then, but judging on how mad the girl sounded, the pain was not because of the past, it was because of the present. Her anger is as red as her lipstick. A few Shakespeare puns after, came the confrontation and the apologies. He ended up getting a kiss, hard on the lips, leaving a red stain in his mouth; part of her anger is marked all over where his words came. He is stupid for letting a writer go.

The fifth girl is Kristen Bell! Excuse me but yaay! Now pay attention to this part of the movie, because without the preceding scenes, this scene could even stand as itself. So Kristen Bell sounded like she is some girl, until he started referring to her as the “best thing in his life”. Fuck him because she’s not who he is marrying! Instead he is marrying a girl who reminded him of her.  That is some level of manly stupidity. They somehow ended up in this huge fight that got Adam’s shirt ripped off (because Veronica Mars), revealing our charming dude’s little secret. [SPOILER] He is taping all conversations for a piece he is writing for Esquire. All the shots of him in between scenes, on a plane with his earphones on, he is probably listening to how these women fell for his words. Men are not stupid, they are evil.

This film presented one man, in five different relationships and five different personalities. What more was, the film ends with Adam on a plane, saying I love you on his phone and giving a lets-have-sex glance at the blonde flight attendant. Adam is the textbook esquire, you have met many of his bros before, and you have been in place of one of those women, you are some girls, hence why you should watch this film.

Alright delta loving crowd, I cave in. I had to listen to this Alt-J that you all spoke of.

                   As much as I love the surprise of the shuffle button, this particular album must be listened to in order, as dictated by the first track titled "Intro", which was actually a great track although it was too short.

The next song "Interlude 1" gets really weird. How many people are singing in this track? Remember that interlude in Bohemian Rhapsody; it was like that except it was 'sung' by robots.

Cut to "Tassellate" that was trippy. If you have wondered why they call this album An Awesome Wave, you need to listen to this song wash you away.

It got even trippier with "Breezeblocks". Where the previous track was light, this one was thicker with the layers of bass thrown in. This song climaxed to the strangest singing of an overused line in music history "Please don't go, I love you so". It was pleading, threatening but catchy.

Another interlude. "Intelude 2" sounded like someone has been jamming alone on the beach with a few people talking within barely audible distance.

"Something Good" was my favorite track so far. The indie folk in this song was strong. Trip-hoppy. And with a title I could easily understand. I want to put this song in a movie against a scene of some James Dean-y guy walking on the streets out of a bar on a windy two in the morning. His footsteps matched the bass this song dropped. True to its title this track was indeed something good.

If there was a track that showcased the vocals of this band it was "Dissolve Me". Songs in this very electronic genre were hard to mix with the vocals. But in this song, the vocals melt perfectly with the music, in a smooth blend that was so sweet to the ears.

Five songs in and I think the album has been great.

"Matilda" came off as a déjà vu of Tassellate but it swelled into the most emotional song of this album with its gloomy beats and the vocals singing "and she needs you, this is from Matilda".

Alt-J has the knack to start a track weird and make it flow to an awesome wave and then slice it again and again with more weird sonic sounds. "Ms" and "Fitzpleasure" were best examples of it.

"Interlude 3" was what happened when robots molest Gregorian hymns.

More weird sounds against trippy beats. And "Bloodflood" flowed steadily giving me visions of light leaks and lens flares. This song just summarized the whole album. If you need to pick one song to listen from this album, it has to be this one.

"Taro" picked up the same flow and "Hand-Made" faded as the album ended.

Okay. First thing first, when people told you to not watch the film, you probably should not watch it. But if you were like me (if you survived through Martyrs, Cannibal Holocaust, and all Alejandro Jodorowsky films), go watch it and deal with the consequences later.

A Serbian Film was what people tagged NSFL and judging by its Wikipedia entry, that was a consensus And that was where the problem begun, the temptation of seeing something just for the sake of proving what people was making a fuss of. Curiosity is a tough adversary to overcome. Only way out is to yield to it. It's human nature; and A Serbian Film dealt exactly about it, the evils lurking behind the brain of a man.

I'm not going to talk about the plot but it mostly centered on manipulation; a 'director' tricking a 'porn star' into making money by selling his trade. And everything that followed was the most fucked up for the sake of fucked-up-ness I have even seen.

The film started with a trashy textbook 90's porn which involves big-breasted girl, a guy out of a Rick Astley video and a macho motorcycle. You know that it gets disturbing because it then showed the audience that, what they were initially seeing was a porn film being watched by a kid, probably 6 or 7 years old. And the guy on the video was his father, the porn star.

That could be your cue that you were probably better off watching some other film with an adorable dog in it.

But if you get more curious, then you stay. What was surprising about this film was the camera work was pretty passable as a decent film, it was good even. That made me stay.

Next scene involved sex.

Then more gross porn clips.

The conflict of this story was that Milos, the has-been porn star, was torn between making an ideal family life and money. He thought money would give them that ideal family life, despite the fact that he was a porn star whose DVD’s lay around for his kid to watch. He was pursued by a film director who talked him in using some political speech about how government sucked. In all fairness to him, I was beginning to think that every governing body in every country sucked. But anyway Philosophical Art Film Director made Milos to sign a contract. He did not even give away anything about the film, except that it would be the film that would redeem the porn genre.

Dialogue was not the main driving force of this film; it was the too-graphic-for-your-brain-to-handle that was the main selling point. You know, just like porn.

And then followed the most disturbing scenes of cinema history, disturbing because they were brutally senseless. Not a jab on your gut but just shock for your eyes. Some gore films are shock and punch, this one was just shock, shock, shock, and more shock. Although some of the bits became laughable at times. Milos was drugged so he could do bloods-to-the-wall, blow-your-mind, eyeballs-out-of-the-socket kind of fucked up things.

I would not elaborate on child rape, necrophilia and torture. But they were all pretty heavy metal shit.

Fast-forward to the ending, Milos did get a happy ending if you look at the surface of the film. He did inhumanly things that got his wife and his child involved. Their soul ripped and torn beyond recovery, Milos did them a favor by giving them all the easy way out. The ending scene was pretty dramatic.

After watching the film, I thought of an explanation why the director came up with this, aside from the fact that he could really be fucked up. The only sensible thing I came across with was political. (Insert slow claps.) It could be an allegory of how the government fucked the people. And I'm not just talking about Serbia because I know less about their rich history. The government could be a porn film that exploits people. Some politicians have balls, some are just dicks. If that was the intention, then this film could be a masterpiece.

Lately, twisted fairy-tales set in the present world has been a thing with TV shows. My friends have been blabbering about "Grimm". Fast-forward to tonight, I found myself watching its first episode. The only knowledge I have of this show was that it was based on Grimm's fairy-tales. Or was it? I'll take note to google that later.

The episode opened with a song, Eurythmics’ “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” and the camera followed a girl in a red hooded jacket, the music appeared to be coming from her iPod. There were trees. She was jogging in a forest, or a park full of trees. Neat.  Little Red Riding Hood.  However, bad song choice. That song was overplayed and was associated with other scenes far from the mood this scene was probably trying to create. While I was debating whether the song was good or bad, the girl suddenly screamed. Camera still focused on the trees. The song still played. Girl screamed some more. She was being attacked.

Scene shifted to a guy flashing a ring to another guy's camera. This guy must be the Prince Charming. He looked like one. His buddy called him Nick and they were detectives. A blonde lady holding a coffee cup (or a cup probably not coffee inside) passed by, when Nick stared at her, her face got distorted like a Guillermo del Toro character.

Then, back to the forest. It was then revealed that these guys were the detectives assigned to investigate the attack that left Nike shoes and iPod scattered beside logs and ferns as clues. Th iPod was still playing the "Sweet Dream" song. Nick's buddy sung along to it to which Nick replied "I did not know you could sing," Which was probably the generic reply to every singing attempt in all TV shows.

This Nick guy seemed to be having visions of people turning into monsters.

A scene of a skinhead woman followed. She has the witch aura in her. She could be a witch but the scene was pretty undetailed for a main character introduction. It only included her driving and peeking through a door. She has a secret. This confirmed, she could be a villain.

Then back to the detectives again, they have id-ed Red Riding Hood. When asked what shoes she was wearing, her roommate answered "pink Nikes". Nice product placement. Nick then declared “it's been a long day” and his buddy wished him "good luck Romeo", on went the next scene with Nick calling out "Juliet", his fiancée. Romeo and Juliet was not a fairy-tale, was it?

Everything was dark. I figured they did not call this Grimm for no reason. The next scene revealed that the Bald Witch, was Nick's family and she was about to tell Nick something that looked urgent and life changing. She then asked if Nick has experienced strange things lately. And right on cue, a monster with a scythe appeared and attacked them. He looked like the Grim Reaper! But Nick killed him, easy, with a gunshot. Bald Witch was wounded, she handed Nick a necklace and ordered him to protect it. She also told him that his parents did not die in a car crash, they were killed. Another TV show cliché, the car crash.

Bald Witch turned out alive and in the hospital she told Nick that they "can see what other people don't see" and that they "can see what people truly are". From what I could now guess, when Nick saw someone and turned into a monster, they were secretly evil. The Bald Witch revealed that Nick was one of the last Grimms.

Wait. Nick looked like someone. Superman? Brandon Routh?

The next scene confirmed that Bald Witch was indeed a witch. Nick went inside her trailer and found out, a closet full of medieval weapons and a large book with weird illustrations and photos. Also, her name was Marie.

Another girl got attacked; she was also wearing a red sweatshirt. Nick and his buddy were sent to search for the little girl. He tracked the boot prints and saw a man who then turned into a wolfy monster! So Nick's weird visions could actually help with his police works. The problem was that he was the only one who can see this. Next scenes included Big Bad Wolf admitting what he was but denied that he was the one doing the attacks. In his defense he did look like he did not do it. He also spilled that there are more of his likes, Big Bad Wolves.

I get how this show was desperately trying to break the stereotype that has been created by fairy-tales as they have been passed down. Their attempt to settle that was by exposing the true natures of werewolves through the dialogues which I could not figure if humorous or forced.

Reluctant Wolf then helped Nick to locate the Guilty Wolf. They drove to the forest. Fifty percent of this show was shot in the dark. The wolf continued to give trivia about werewolves. But he eventually ditched Nick fearing he would turn against him and take his kindred's side.

Time to call another back-up. Nick called his buddy.

More trekking in the dark forest.

And they found a house. A gentle looking man answered. Nick knew that he was a wolf too. Wolf denied that he kidnapped the kid and allowed the detectives to search his house. Having kept his victim in a basement behind a trap door covered under his rug, he knew they would not find the little kid. The two kept searching but did not find the girl. The guilty wolf eventually let them out while humming the "sweet dream" song. Nick's buddy realized that the song was the same song on the dead girl's iPod and broken into the house again, this time sure that he got the correct man. A SONG LINKED AN ACCUSED MAN TO A PREVIOUS MURDER. That is pretty accurate portrayal of a murder investigation.

Back in the hospital Nick was sitting beside Marie, who was actually his Aunt. A blonde girl came in, the same girl she saw earlier, this time not holding a cup of coffee but holding a syringe. Nick realized she was one of the bad guys when she turned into a monster again, and tackled him when he fought for her not to inject possible deadly chemicals to his aunt. Bad blonde girl then stabbed Nick with the syringe instead. She then gracefully exited the hospital and got in a van. Last scene revealed bad blonde girl's boss in fairy-tale land, is Nick's boss in normal life. Which was pretty interesting.

There is so much arc to play around in this type of shows. The story could be good but the delivery needs to improve. Anyone wants to recommend me seeing more episodes?