Indy French

Falling like black smoke,

Forcing me to the ground

Where I think there's fresh air.

But the smoke is there too,

Filling my lungs,

Seeping into my very cells and

Forming a black sticky tar.

How will I ever get rid of it?

It's such a part of me.

How will I stand tall again

I've felt so lonely recently Even among the few I consider friends I've felt lost Untethered Floating in shadow

I've cried A lot

I know now I was grieving I recognize that those I thought were my people Are not my tribe The place I call home is not where I belong

I'm mourning the idea of letting it all go Family, friends, my career All I have ever known

I am untethered Floating Not lost But free

Free to find myself To find my tribe My purpose My true home

So I will mourn a bit longer As I plot my course Gather my compass Say goodbye to my old life To the life I had hoped would fit me

And when I am done crying When I have the horizon in sight When I see the light to guide me I will let go