Wade: Hey Ivan, why are all your vaccines on the same date? Ivan: it was a bad day Wade: isn't that the day you got brought into Rookstone? Ivan: It was a bad day

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@incorrectvillainscode
Wade: Hey Ivan, why are all your vaccines on the same date? Ivan: it was a bad day Wade: isn't that the day you got brought into Rookstone? Ivan: It was a bad day

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(In Rookstone) Fornax: Lodestar what the fuck are they injecting me with? Lodestar: Tetanus shot Fornax: What??
Fornax: I can bite. I have bitten before. I will bite again Lodestar: Fornax, you aren't helping. This dentist is here to help you. Rookstone Dentist (suspiciously high pitched): Do your teeth hurt anywhere sir?
Pseudonym: what are you cooking?
Balaam: for the last time Im brewing a potion
Ivan: When I decide you're my daughter its all over bitches. (I'm formally adopting you)

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Xelas: Sorry about the late fic update, I was in jail then wound up fighting for life against a sentient black hole. Anyay things are chilling now and maybe forming a secret society lmao
Ivan , on the phone: What’s up, Tori?
Tori: I’m sitting in a pool of blood.
Ivan: …Um, is it YOUR blood?
Tori: I think so.
Ivan: Do you know where the blood’s coming from?
Tori: Probably the stab wound.
Ivan: YOU’VE BEEN STABBED?!
Tori: Oh, yeah, definitely.
Ivan: Have I ever told you that you cook well?
Wade: Awww, no, you haven't!
Ivan: So why do you keep trying to cook?