Incorrect Turn Quotes

John André: Do you know how we keep warm in England? Peggy Shippen: I can guess, baby. John André: We play cricket. Peggy Shippen: I guessed wrong.

Robert Rogers: Some people say “If you can’t beat them, join them”. I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.

Robert Townsend: The voices in my hear may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Charles Lee: I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

Anna Strong: Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with an iron bar.

John Simcoe: I was thinking I like animals. Maybe I’d be a vet. Akinbode: An evil vet? John Simcoe: No! Maybe like work in a petting zoo. Akinbode: An evil petting zoo? John Simcoe: You always do that!

Caleb Brewster: Look, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather… Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his carriage.

Anna Strong: Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.

Benjamin Tallmadge: Well, if I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

John Simcoe: Major, the last thing I want to do is kill you. But it’s still on the list.

Robert Rogers: First lesson: War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

George Washington: What do Politicans and diapers have in common? Benjamin Tallmadge: I do not know, Sir. George Washington: They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

Caleb Brewster: If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?

Edmund Hewlett: If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

Marquis de Lafayette: [in french] Do you speak french? George Washington: You know, I did learn a little when my high school class went to France, but that was just stuff to pick up chicks. Marquis de Lafayette: [french] I really think it would make Benedict Arnold feel better if he could fight, ok? George Washington: [bad french] I have… and… Eiffel Tower… in my pants. Marquis de Lafayette: What? George Washington: [bad french] Grapefruit!

Benjamin Tallmadge: I have come home, General. George Washington: This is no longer your home, and I am no longer your General! Benjamin Tallmadge: Oh, yes. You have a new favorite. So where is this Lafayette?