You're a good guy, you know, if you ignore everything that you do on purpose and concentrate on all of the things that you do by accident.
Thomas to Gally
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@incorrecttmrquotes
You're a good guy, you know, if you ignore everything that you do on purpose and concentrate on all of the things that you do by accident.
Thomas to Gally

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Gally: You look happy. Let me guess: your egg sandwich fell on the floor and they gave it to you for free.
Thomas: No. You can do that? Why doesn’t everyone just drop their sandwiches on the floor?
Gally: I was trying to insult you.
Thomas: And instead you gave me an amazing life hack!
Thomas: You know, you're not pleasant when you're like this, Gally.
Gally: I'm always like this.
Thomas: My point exactly.
Shit, you guys are kids! I better watch my damn mouth around you little bastards! Sorry, sorry–I mean ‘SHOOT, I better watch my damn mouth around you little bastards.’
Jorge
Aw, I believe this is the beginning of a beautiful mutual tolerance.
Minho, about Thomas and Gally

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Newt: You need to decide!
Thomas: I tried! I even made a pros and cons list. Teresa, good shoulder to cry on. Minho, good shoulders.
by the way people should submit stuff
Thomas: Has anyone seen Newt?
Newt, lying on the floor: Present.
Gally: This time baby, I’ll be bulletproof.
Gally [to Thomas]: You’re like a Chihuahua in a box of free puppies that no one picks because they know you’re the most annoying one.
Thomas: You’re like the one asshole in a group of friends who everybody secretly hates and couldn’t care less about if you were on the ground with a pole sticking out through your chest.
Gally: …That second part actually happened. We’re supposed to be using analogies.
Thomas: Well it’s still true, isn’t it?

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If you were in the wild, I would attack you, even if you weren't in my food chain. I would go out of my way and attack you. If I were a lion and you were a tuna, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you. And then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.
Gally, to Thomas
Thomas: Isn't that unethical?
Ava Paige: No!
Thomas: ''Unethical'' means 'morally wrong'.
Ava Paige: Oh. Then yes.
Teresa: Justify your existence. What contribution have you made?
Minho: I have given pleasure to the world because I have such a beautiful ass.
Newt: Hey, guys? I think I might be coming down with something.
Thomas: Are you kidding me, dude? Like, I think you're gonna die.
reminder to source your submissions
i have gotten so many submissions without sources lately and it’s frustrating

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Gally: god do you know who i hate EVERYONE
Minho: Has anyone seen Newt? Thomas, do you know where he is? Thomas: Sorry, Minho, I haven’t seen him since the last time I saw him. Minho: Yeah, but when was that? Thomas: Last time I saw him? It was definitely the time I saw him last.