Crack Quotes

Cragen: Would you slap your best friend for a thousand bucks? Fin: I would slap Munch for free. Munch, tearing up: I’m your best friend??

Emily: Would you slap your best friend for a thousand bucks? Penelope: I would slap Luke for free. Luke, tearing up: I’m your best friend??

Elliot: So, who's the clingiest? Alex: [sitting on Olivia's lap with her arms wrapped around her neck and her face buried into her chest] Alex: Liv, clearly.

Barba: Please understand, I am not emotionally invested in any of this. Carisi: That's the nicest way of saying "I don't give a fuck" I've ever seen.

Olivia: Do you ever get pre-annoyed? Like you already know someone is going to piss you off? Alex: What? No, I- Elliot: *enters the room* Alex: *clenches jaw*

Olivia: Where are you going? Alex: To get MYSELF a gift cause somebody didn't get me one! Olivia: I told you I did! It's getting here on Friday! Noah, knowing full well Olivia got Alex an engagement ring: *eats popcorn and plays video games.

Amanda: I gotta be honest, I'm not having a baja blast right now. Carisi: Like for real, I am having a crunch wrap supremely difficult time. Barba: What the fuck, are you two having a stroke?

Alex: Hey Babe. Alex: I met a guy today. Alex: He was really handsome and I think I'm in love with him. Alex: His name is Uno. Olivia, sighs: Show me the cat!

Amanda: Alex won't come out of her office. Olivia: Just tell her I said something. Amanda: Like what? Olivia: Anything factually incorrect. Amanda, sighs: If you say so. Alex, angrily storms out of her office: Did you just say the sun is a planet?!

Olivia: Amanda, update? Amanda: Overall, like a 7/10 day. A nice lady gave me a hotdog and I got to play with a dog. The -3 points is because Sonny said he preferred Billie's hair style over Jesse's. I don't know why he even told me that, it wasn't helpful or nice, somethings can be kept to yourself. Anyways, it was a very good day. Thank you for asking. Olivia, pinching the bridge of her nose: I meant an update about if you plan on coming back to the NYPD? Amanda: Oh, no, I'm enjoying being able to put my kids to bed every night.

Elliot: We can make this work! We're like Romeo and Juliet. Kathy: It didn't work for Romeo and Juliet. That play ends in a tragic double suicide. Elliot: That's how it ends? Why do people like it so much?

Amanda: My father is not a man. He's a one-star Yelp review come to life.

Olivia: Why is Amanda spitting out paper? Carisi: I made an origami cupcake and apparently it looked real enough for her.

Carisi: Can I ride this scooter outside? Olivia: I'm not your mom, do what you want. Carisi: Okay! Olivia: Not in the street!