I'm Going Slightly Mad!

Deaky: Yeah, that was right before he had him taken out to the lake and shot.

Brian: The important thing is he forgave him.

Roger: Dad, was that you?

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Brian: Honestly, Roger, Sometimes I don't know where your head is.

Brian: How did this happen? I called him at 8:00 this morning and pretended it was 11:00.

John: I printed up that fake rehearsal schedule, for him saying we started at 9:00 instead of noon.

Roger: And I set all his watches and clocks to say p.m., when it's really a.m.

Brian: ... We may ave over done it.

Deaky: Tell it, Roger. Tell it.

Roger: Really?? All the way through?

Deaky: All the way through. But please try to make the end come as close to the beginning as possible.

Roger: Well, Gunilla Ufstader was a nurse at Cedars of King’s Lynn Hospital. One night she was taking care of Sven Bjornsson, and he asked her if she would get him some more mouth moisteners and then kill him. Gunilla brought the mouth moisteners right away, but the killing thing, it seemed to go against everything she’d bee taught… He begged and he begged, and by her coffee break, she couldn’t stand it anymore, so she pulled the plug and he died. Well, she was racked with guilt that night. Not only had she parked her car in a doctor’s spot, but she was never sure whether Sven’s pleading was the pain talking, or the medication talking, or the guy in next bed talking! You see, the guy in the next bed was Ingmar Von Bergen, King Lynn’s meanest ventriloquist.

Deaky: Roger, we are going somewhere with this, aren’t we? I mean, if not, I’m gonna cut out your tongue.

Roger: Yes! Sven came back to haunt Gunilla – since then, every Tuesday night at ten. Nine, Central. She hears noises. Some say it’s the wind, but some say it’s Sven’s voice whispering back from the other side, saying, ‘Turn quick – his lips are movie!’

Freddie: Shut-up you little twizzler!

Brian: Yeah, you'll notice I don't have to sound out the words, either.

Miami: ...What?!