Mr. D: It’s St Patrick’s Day, the holiday of my people!
Chrion: You’re not Irish.
Mr. D: Binge Drinkers.

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@incorrectpercyquotes
Mr. D: It’s St Patrick’s Day, the holiday of my people!
Chrion: You’re not Irish.
Mr. D: Binge Drinkers.

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Nico: Penguins don’t get married.
Percy: *scoffs* Like you could possibly know that.
Calypso: Leo and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other’s-
Leo:-sentences.
Calypso: Please don’t interrupt me.
Hazel: It feels like you’re being a little harsh.
Nico: Thanks, good note. I was going for extremely harsh, I’ll turn it up.
Reyna: When it comes to shooting patterns, I like to go PB&J. Penis, Brain, Jaw.

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Frank: Love you, cutie pie.
Frank: Sorry, I’ll think of a better one than ‘cutie pie.’
Frank: You’re my angel... dust.
Frank: Sorry, that’s a drug-
Jason: I made this friendship bracelet for you.
Nico: I'm not really a handmade jewelry person.
Jason: You don't have to wear it
Nico: No, I'm gonna wear it forever. Back off.
Leo: Oh my god. Frank, I just realized something. I had a bad childhood.
Frank: Yeah, I know.
Leo: What do you mean, you know?
Frank: Look at you.
Leo: What do you mean, look at me?
Frank: Look at how you stand. People who had good childhoods don’t stand like that.
Percy: Look, Jason, I want to apologize for everything I said. For what it's worth, I really like having you around.
Jason: No you don't.
Percy: I know. I have dreams where I staple your fingers to your face.
Annabeth: You’re cooking?
Percy: Yup!
Annabeth: Are you sure that’s a good idea after last time? You looked really creepy without eyebrows.

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Nico: I touched poison oak. Will says I have to keep my hands bandaged for a week so I don’t scratch them.
Jason: How did it happen?
Nico: I was on a nature hike and I went off trail to pick a little flower.
Jason: Awwww
[The Last Olympian]
Silena: Hasn't anyone noticed Grover is missing too?
Tyson: OH NO! I knew it was only a matter of time! Blackjack ate Grover!
Tyson, opening Blackjack's mouth: Grover, I'm coming for you buddy!
Annabeth: Tyson, Blackjack didn't eat Grover. He's probably with Percy.
Tyson: That's just what Blackjack wants you to think!
Piper: What are you guys gonna be for Halloween?
Nico: Sad.
Will: Gay.
Leo: Sexy.
Annabeth: Minecraft.
Frank: Also Minecraft.
Hazel: Minecraft as well.
Percy: Sexy Minecraft.
Percy: Hey! Have you started off thinking of names yet?
Piper: Oh yeah! I’ve come up with a bunch of ideas!
Jason: Really? Me too!
Percy: Me too!
Piper: Really?!
Percy: Uh huh! If it’s a boy, Percy, and if it’s a girl, Perca!
Jason: Maybe. But it wouldn’t hurt to have a backup, you know? Uh, Piper, what were you thinking?
Piper: Okay! I was thinking if it’s a girl, how about Sandrine? It’s French.
Jason: Huh. That’s a really pretty name for-for an industrial solvent.
Piper: Okay fine, what do you have?
Jason: Well, ok, it’s for a boy. Well, I know it’s a little out there, but... Darwin.
Piper: Wow, oh my God, our child will be beaten to death in the schoolyard.
Percy: Yeah, by Sandrine.
Jason: You’re just saying that 'cause I said no to your name!
Piper: I’m really, really not.
Percy: How-how about you each get five vetoes?
Jason: That sounds fair.
Piper: Yeah! I don’t think you’re going to need it though. Okay, check this out. If it’s a girl, Rain.
Jason: Veto.
Piper: Why?
Jason: Rain? Hi. Hi, my name is Rain. I have my own kiln, and my dress is made out of wheat.
Percy: I know her! I bought homemade soap from her at cabin four!
Jason: Okay, how about, for a guy, Thatcher?
Piper: Jason, why do you hate our child?
Jason: Fine, you go.
Piper: Okay, James.
Piper: But only if it’s a girl.
Jason: Oh, veto. How about—Ooh, I like Ruth! What about Ruth?
Piper: Oh! I’m sorry! Are we having an 89-year-old? How about Dayton?
Jason: Veto. Stewart?
Piper: Veto. Sawyer?
Jason: Veto. Helen?
Piper: Veto.
Percy: Is it me, or is veto starting to sound really good?
Percy Jackson characters as Brooklyn Nine-Nine quotes
Percy:
Annabeth:
Grover:
Jason:
Piper:
Hazel:
Frank:
Leo:
Reyna:
Nico:
Apollo:

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Percy Jackson Characters as The Office Quotes
Percy:
Annabeth:
Grover:
Frank:
Hazel:
Piper:
Jason:
Leo:
Nico:
Reyna:
Calypso:
Percy: I owe you my life
Nico: No thanks. I’ve seen it, and I’m not impressed.