Haku Hate Club @incorrectkaraischosen - Tumblr Blog

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Read Karai’s Chosen Here!

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Morgan, internally: Everything’s going to be fine. It’s just a crush.

Ilia: Hey, Morgan.

Morgan: I love you.

#morgan #Ilia

Ilia: I wish there was a movie like Dead Poets Society that wasn't so sad...

Peter: Um there is? It’s called School of Rock

#ilia #peter

Haku, slow blinking: I’m not the only bitch here with glasses?

Joshua: 1) had these the whole time 2) you ARE in fact the only bitch here.

#haku #joshua #pov the author has just realized theyve forgotten about his glasses

Someone: How do you feel about me helping you?

Morgan: How do you feel about getting shot?

#morgan

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(Peter and Kai sitting around the campfire)

Peter: so why are y’all so self-sacrificial all the time

Kai: well it’s because—

Peter: also what’s a wife

Kai:

Kai: okay this is gonna take more than one night buddy

#peter #kai

Peter: (materializes a large cross)

Kai: What’s that for?

Peter: Since you seem so intent on martyring yourself, I thought I’d help out. Here, stand still so I can crucify you

Joshua: I’ll help

#peter #kai #joshua

Morgan: Would you guys shoot your best friend in the leg for 10 million dollars?

Peter: Lian, shoot me. Then when my leg heals we can buy a huge-ass house and sweet cars.

Lian: Hey, you can shoot me too, and then we’ll have 20 million dollars.

Juli: Good thinking. Fuck the system.

#morgan #peter #lian #juli

(staring at two water glasses on the table)

Kai, to Jinal: is this my glass... or is this your glass?

Jinal: Kai, look at me. did you not just kiss me on the lips.

Kai: ...yeah

Jinal: now explain to me again why it matters which glass is yours?

#jinal #kai

Ridwan: Help us by distracting the Company, it’ll lower the chances of Peter and Lian dying

Peter: But what if I want to experience getting stabbed in the throat?

Joshua, grabbing a knife: That can be arranged

#ridwan #peter #joshua

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Morgan: Well my dad-

Joshua: No. Choose another subject.

Peter: Oh, I can tell you about my dad! He wears red, has a big white beard, and climbs down chimneys for fun!

Dani: That's Santa Claus.

Peter: Yeah sorry, I never knew my dad but I wanted to feel included.

#morgan #joshua #peter #dani

Joshua: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon.

Haku, not looking up from their book: Spear.

Joshua: BLOCKED

#joshua #haku

(the gang tries to bake)

Morgan: I thought you were speedy why are you whipping so slow? 🤨

Joshua: I thought you had good aim why do your cookies look like trash instead of dogs?

Lian: and I thought you were both capable adults who can check the oven temperature

#morgan #joshua #lian

(someone aims a soul stealing rifle at Joshua)

Peter: good thing you don't have a soul to steal, Joshua!

Kai, running over to take the hit instead: is NOW THE TIME?

#peter #kai #joshua

Jinal: We need to focus on finding food-

Joshua: Well maybe if somebody hadn’t set the limes on FIRE-

Peter: Oh, and you have scurvy now?

Kai: Boys. 😒

#jinal #joshua #peter #kai

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