Quotes Kakashi and Gai didn't say

Gai: I'm way worse than you! Kakashi: No, I'm the worst! Gai: No, I am! I'll prove it! I...I'll fight you, and show you how bad I am! Kakashi: Fine, let's do it! Both: Let the worst man lose!

Gai, being held back up his students when he sees Kakashi's corpse during the Pein arc: Damn you! You think you could just back out because you’re scared? I’m not gonna leave! Not until he wakes up and opens his eyes and lets me fight him! Tenten: Gai-sensei, he... can't do that. Gai: I’m gonna beat you down, you punk! Who do you think you are, huh? Who am I gonna fight? Who am I gonna fight? Neji: He's gone. Gai, sobbing: Kakashi! You’re supposed to be here! For me...! Lee: ...Come on, Gai-sensei. Let's go.

Gai: Isn't that like your fourth cup of coffee? Kakashi: Yup. Mondays, am I right? Gai: It's Friday.

Gai: I hate to use this attack, I find it totally devoid of any taste or artistry. Kakashi: Well that's hard to believe, there's actually a move that's too barbaric for Gai.

Kakashi, reading from Icha Icha: "Would you like dinner? Or a bath? Or... me?" Kakashi, looking up from his book: Do wives really say that? Kurenai: No. Tsunade: Never. Gai: If you like, I'll ask it to you. Kakashi: ...That would be an honor.

Gai: I see love in everything. Kakashi: I'm sure love sees everything in you, too.

Gai: Could you believe it? Right at the buzzer, three points for the win! Kakashi: It was pretty intense. Gai: Yeah, for a minute there I thought you were going to make an expression. Kakashi: I felt one coming on, I won't lie.

Sukea: Can I take a photo of you? Gai: Sure. Sukea: Say cheese! Gai: Cheddar. Swiss. Mozzarella. Feta. Pecorino. Sukea: ....

Gai: I don't know what that Tobi was talking about! Kakashi: How could he know anything about us...? Gai: Well, he's evil! Kakashi: Big time. Gai: He doesn't even know what a lasting relationship is! Kakashi: No. Gai: Probably the only lasting relationship he's ever had is with...evil! Kakashi: Yeah. Gai: Big, stupid...evil guy!

Gai: Have you seen my husband? We got separated. Kotetsu: What did he look like? Can you describe him? Gai, clearing his throat and singing: That beauty of his face was beyond my wildest dreams, like cherry blossoms blooming in the mountains in the early spring--

Kakashi: You're really campaigning for Jerk of the Year, aren't you? Gai: As defending champion, you nervous? Kakashi: I can hold my own.

Kakashi: You're not worried about changing the past and messing up the future? Gai: Nah. I'd only make good changes. Like giving cellphones to cavemen.

Gai: Why do we say "as snug as a bug"? What is snug about that bug? Kakashi: ...He's in a rug???? Gai: I forgot he got into the rug!

Gai: You should just accept your flaws! Like me! Kakashi: You've accepted your flaws? Gai: No, I've accepted yours!

Gai: Rival, I sense something is troubling you. Kakashi: Troubling is not the exact word I would use. Amazed, incredulous, mind-boggled... any of those words would be appropriate.

Gai, to Kakashi: So how's your own blood taste? I bet that's the first time that pretty face of yours has ever been hit!

Kakashi: I will be heading lunch today with my husband at Ichiraku Ramen. We will eat fried rice. And then we will go home and make out on our couch.