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Markus : Do you have anything you wanna tell me?

Alex : Uh, no.

Markus : Okay, well, your horoscope said that you're keeping secrets so like, I don't wanna call you a liar but the stars don't lie so-

#Markus Schubert #Alex Nübel #Source : Tumblr #:)#submission

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Niklas: Did Alex just tell me he loved me for the first time?

Josh: Yeah.

Niklas: And did I do finger guns back?

Josh: Yeah, you did.

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[22 missed calls and 135 unopened messages from Thomas]

Manu: Are you ok??? I’m sorry I didn’t answer I was-

Thomas: This video of a cat wearing a scarf reminds me of you.

#neuller #thomas müller #manuel neuer #bayern munich #incorrect quotes #incorrect fcb quotes #incorrect football quotes

Niki: Hey, you think I can fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?

Leon: What's wrong with you? You're a hazard to humanity.

Josh: And a coward. Do twenty...

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Toni: *complaining about smth FCB related*

Josh: Complain complain complain...

Josh: You know when live gives you lemons...

Toni: I COMPLAIN ABOUT THE LEMONS!

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Alex: Why do you hate Jogi so much?

Thomas: I never said I hated him.

Alex: Really?

Thomas: I just said that if he was on fire, I might consider roasting marshmallows.

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Manu: I hate when kids scream in public.

Manu: You don't have any real problems! It should be me screaming! ME!

#manuel neuer #bayern munich #german national team #incorrect football quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect fcb quotes #incorrect dfb quotes #everyone just disappointing him at the moment #poor boy conceding so much

Bernd: Some people are like slinkies.

Julian B.: Explain...

Bernd: Relatively useless, but they still make you smile when you push them down the stairs.

Julian B.: Please don't push Marc down the stairs.

Bernd: You can't stop me.

#steno #bernd leno #julian brandt #marc andre ter stegen #german national team #fc arsenal #fc barcelona #borussia dortmund #incorrect quotes #incorrect football quotes #incorrect dfb quotes #source: twitter

Josh: Hey, can I ask your advice on something?

Thomas: Are you sure, dude? Isn’t there someone else better you could ask? Like, literally anyone else?

#joshua kimmich #thomas müller #bayern munich #incorrect football quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect fcb quotes #incorrect dfb quotes #german national team #source: the good place

[Niki and Josh being at the trainings ground alone at night]

Niki: What was that?

Josh: I don't know.

Niki: I think I see someone.

Josh: Let's pretend we're in on it.

Niki: Josh no, wait-

Josh: WE'RE HERE FOR THE MURDER STUFF!

Josh: WE SAW THE AD ON CRAIGSLIST!

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[at the start of the national break]

Löw, to Philipp: And remember, we do not say bad words in this team-

Manu, in the distance: FICKEN!

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Josh: I know we don’t always see eye-to-eye on things–

Leon: That's because you are short.

Josh: *kicks him in the shin*

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Instructor: Welcome to salsa class. Who is ready to learn how to dance?

Niki, hiding tortilla chips bag: There's been a misunderstanding.

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Mats: Did Manu kick you out of the kitchen again?

Thomas, huffs: Yes and i really don't get it.

Mats: Well I do. Remember what happened last time?

Thomas, muttering: You nearly burn down the kitchen ONE time and you're banished for life.

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Niki: Fist me.

Alex: I- what the fuck.

Niki: *holds out fist for fist bump*

Alex: Right. Of course that's what you meant. Okay.

#nüle #alex nübel #alexander nübel #niklas süle #bayern munich #incorrect quotes #incorrect football quotes #incorrect fcb quotes #source: twitter

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Thomas: Okay, but imagine if fruit or vegetables were actually alive and SCREAMED everytime we bit into them but to us their screams come off as crunch.

Manu: Thomas please repeat after me.

Manu:

Thomas:

Manu:

Thomas:

Manu:

Thomas: Manu, you're not saying anything.

Manu: I know.

#neuller #manuel neuer #thomas müller #bayern munich #german national team #incorrect quotes #incorrect football quotes #incorrect dfb quotes #incorrect fcb quotes #source: twitter

Niki: Well fuck me if I'm wrong-

Alex: You're wrong.

#nüle #alexander nübel #alex nübel #niklas süle #bayern munich #incorrect quotes #incorrect football quotes #incorrect fcb quotes #source: twitter

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