Incorrect American Horror Story Quotes

Elsa: I'd like everybody's attention. Due to Ma Petite's death, Christmas is canceled. Ethel: You can't cancel a holiday. Elsa: Keep it up, Ethel, and you'll lose New Year's. Ethel: What does that mean? Elsa: Dell, take New Year's away from Ethel.

Cordelia: Well, every day begins about the same. I wake up screaming in terror because of the blackness and I think I’m dead. Fiona: Every day? Cordelia: Yes! Every day! And then I begin what’s called “The Great Adventure.” Making breakfast. I’ve eaten everything from nails to drink coasters. One time I bit hard into a marble ashtray, thinking it was a savory waffle. I wanted that waffle so bad! Completely shattered my teeth. Fiona: Couldn’t you tell the ashtray wasn’t hot like a waffle? Cordelia: No! I couldn’t, because I’m blind! I’m not blind twenty-three hours a day or twenty-two hours a day, I’m blind the whole Goddamn time! Do you have any idea what it’s like to drink a half a bottle of ketchup thinking it was a bottle of 1946 Châteauneuf-du- Pape? I even decanted it. Fiona: If you drank half a bottle of that, that’s…that’s like…that’s like nine or ten gulps. I mean, you couldn’t tell that was ketchup? Cordelia: Did I stutter? I’m ba-lind!

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car.

Moira: Go take a psychology course. Try to figure out who gave you such disgusting mommy issues. 

When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe his tissues have made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.

When will you learn...that YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?

Michael: *does anything*

tate: michael, michael

Madison: All it takes is faith and trust. Oh, and something I forgot. Dust.

Ben: There’s only one thing worse than a rapist. 

Michael: True evil is born through pain and loss...when I was a lad, I once had a toy train...and then one day... I lost it.