#johnadamsdefensesquad

John Adams: Hancock is 'been there done that'

John Adams: Jefferson is 'currently doing that'

John Adams: Franklin is 'it happened once in a dream'

John Adams: Dickinson is 'if I had to pick a loyalist'

John Adams: And Rutledge is...

Rutledge: ...

John Adams: ...Eagle two

It's Shitscram, we're organizing Shitscram into a separate holiday kids. And I propose it's celebrated by:

It's in December but there's no set date. You can choose any day to celebrate or you can celebrate all month. I'm not your dad, you're a big kid and you decide how long to party

There's absolutely zero religion associated with it. None. No pagan or Christian or anything. However you can pair it with whatever other holiday you want to celebrate. Just don't call it a "Shitscram tree" because that's former pagan turned Christian decorations

If you want to exchange cards, use the weird old Christmas cards that have nothing to do with Christmas. @weirdchristmas has a bunch and they're really funny and secular as soon as you remove the word "Christmas"

If in December there is a Friday the 13th that year, whatever day you choose to celebrate Shitscram there has to be at least one spooky element. Like a skull or a plastic spider.

Giving gifts is not mandatory but if you decide to, you can use any wrapping paper or bag but any holiday paper/bag that says the otherholiday's name must be crossed out and "Shitscram" must be written in its place (at least once on the paper/bag but if you want to do more you can)

If you want to make it a magical childhood experience you can tell your kid Mothman delivered their gifts, he wears a lil nightgown and slippers in the traditional Shitscram colors

The colors of Shitscram are muted blue and red:

dickinson: i eat cheerios because they’re heart healthy

John Adams: How?!

Franklin: You’re holding his hand

Abigail Adams: “My evening is in danger!”

John Adams: “You tell me where my waistcoat is, woman! We are talking about the greater good!”

Jefferson: Ah, what are you so worried about? You’re so small they probably won’t even see you.

Adams: ,,,, this isn’t the time to be making short jokes

John Adams: “Good morning Mr. Dickinson.”