Imagine Strahd von Zaro🅱️ITCH...

Imagine Strahd giving everyone in Barovia a present for Christmas, raining nightmares down through people’s chimneys like he’s Jack Skellington himself.

Imagine Strahd scrambling to reblog all of his favorite Christmas memes on tumblr dot com but running into the dreadful nightmare that is the broken blog search function and finally just resorting to a horrific Grinch-esque scream as he gives up and throws his smartphone across the room. Merry Crisis indeed.

Imagine Strahd getting some proper therapy. Like some actual honest to g-d Therapy™️. Some real sit down and discuss your troubles in a safe environment therapy. Some genuine professional help in the form of THERAPY.

Imagine Strahd wearing a face mask every time he goes out in public until he remembers that vampires don’t actually need to breathe.

Imagine Strahd trying--like, really genuinely trying--to wear a face mask when he goes out and about, as per Barovian health department regulations, but his fangs keep poking through them every time he opens his mouth to speak.

Imagine Strahd playing Mercy on Overwatch, but he only uses his gun and never heals or reses anyone.

Imagine Strahd compiling a list of who’s been naughty and who’s been nice in Barovia this year. His perspective is NOT skewed, and anyone who suggests otherwise is going DIRECTLY onto the naughty list.

Imagine Strahd emitting an unholy shriek as he realizes how long he’s gone between making quirky posts on tumblr dot com.

Imagine Strahd posting prints of his Sonic the Hedgehog OC art on every notice board in Barovia because he feels like they’re underappreciated.

Imagine Strahd quarantining everyone in Barovia because ONCE AGAIN some new adventurers mysteriously appeared (as they occasionally do) and brought fungus that causes white nose syndrome with them. Will the Barovian bat population never know peace???

Imagine Strahd putting on one of his old Dolly Parton records and suddenly realizing he missed his calling as a country singer.

Imagine Strahd adopting thirteen hairless cats to add a little extra pizzazz to the castle ambiance. Also, there’s a mouse problem and he’s tired of having to chase the little invaders down one by one on his own.