Damn These Bitches Dead @incorrect-pompep - Tumblr Blog

Vlad: Why are you so mean to me!?

Danny: I promised to beat up anyone who hurt you, and you hurt yourself the most.

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Vlad: To be fair, I was going through some stuff—

Tucker: You mean death?

Danny: Hey I went through that too and I didn't try to kill anybody.

Dan: *slowly stands up*

Danny: Sit down right now or you're grounded.

Dan: *slowly sits back down*

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Danny: Dani, stick with Vlad. Make sure he doesn't say anything insane. Or steal anything.

Vlad: Too late.

Dani: Don't worry! It's just scarves and hats and stuff.

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Danny: I'm not arguing with a man that has big blue eyes. Whatever you say, beautiful.

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Danny, talking to Sam: Really, the main issue with politics is politicians forgetting that they can be killed.

Vlad: ...I suddenly feel very unsafe in my own home.

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Vlad, to Dani: First off, through unimaginable violence, all things are possible, so jot that down—

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Danny: Let's cuddle so I can steal your body heat.

Vlad: Ah Daniel, ever the romantic.

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Phantom: Is this even legal?

Plasmius: Since when has the law ever stopped either of us?

Phantom: ...Touché.

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Vlad: Danone, Daniel and I are going out! If we're not back in three days, avenge our deaths!

Dan: 'Kay!

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Danny: Dude, why are you like this?

Vlad: The real question is why aren't you like me? Neither of us had a decent parental figure.

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Danny: *falls asleep on Vlad's chest*

Vlad: ...

Vlad: *whispers* Hello happiness, I haven't seen you in a while.

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Vlad: I love knitting needles. I can make a scarf, I can make a hat, I can stab people in the eyes, I can make mittens—

Danny: What was that middle part?

Dani: He can make a hat.

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-At Starbucks-

Danny: Can I get a java chip frappe with three pumps of chocolate and twelve shots of espresso?

Vlad: Dear God, just do cocaine.

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Danny: I love you.

Vlad: *shoving a laundry basket at Danny* Stop saying I love you to get of chores.

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Danny: We have two children. Danielle would help me hide a corpse, and Dan is the reason we have the corpse in the first place.

Vlad: *walking by with a shovel* Hope that clears things up.

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Danny: We have a saying in this family.

Dani: Where there's smoke there's fire...

Danny: And where there's fire there's probably Vlad.

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Danny: Yes the sex was good, but now I can get back to telling you about the Tarantula Nebula did you know that it's the largest of its kind and in the most active star forming area—

Vlad: How about a second round?

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