Barley: Stop insulting me
Ian: I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you
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@incorrect-onward-quotes
Barley: Stop insulting me
Ian: I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you

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Barley: If I may venture an opinion...
Ian: I'm not really interested in your opinion, Barley.
Ian: I've got a bad feeling about this.
Barley: Brother, come on. We've pulled crazier stunts than this.
Laurel: Just for the record, Barley, I'm with Ian on this one.
Barley: Thank you for your support, mom.
Ian: You know, anybody but me would punch you right in the head.
Barley: Which is why you are my brother!
Ian: Good to know. Now, why are you mine!?
Ian: I hope you know what you're doing.
Barley: Yeah, me too.

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Barley: UwU
Ian: No
Barley, aggressively: UWU
Ian: Jail!
Barley: UWU
Barley: I... I felt surprise was wiser...
Ian: You are as clumsy as you are stupid!
"You are up to something and I DON’T WANNA KNOW WHAT IT IS!" — Ian to Barley
When a plan goes wrong:
Ian: That's what happens.
Barley: Worse things have happened.
“You know, there's only 8,011 things that I really need to talk to you about.” – Ian to Barley when Barley messes up

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Ian: Barley's existence is like a sun to me.
Barley: Aww.
Ian: He needs to stay thousands of miles away.
Ian: I need you...
Barley: I need you too, that's what I'm trying to...
Ian: ...to leave. Now.
“I've always been more curious than cautious, and that's served me pretty well.” – Barley
“You seem awfully tense all of a sudden.” – Barley to Ian whenever he’s scared
“I don't like it, I don't agree with it, but I accept it.” – Ian about Barley’s plan

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Barley: Is it a good day?
Ian, angrily and sarcastically: IT'S A GREAT DAY!
Ian: Something brought you here. Fate. Destiny...
Barley: Our dad's legs?