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Lucifer: Why are you putting garlic in your pants?

Adam: So Dracula won’t try to eat my ass.

Lucifer: Why would Dracula try to eat your ass?

Adam: He won’t. The garlic - Are you even listening???

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•18+ Adults Only

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Lilith, to Adam: I have feelings for you.

Lilith: Not telling you which ones though.

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Sir Pentious: Cherri just texted me back "lmao" from the other room.

Sir Pentious: I hear no laughing. No ass hitting the floor.

Sir Pentious: I've married a laugh liar.

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Adam: Hello my beautiful son just wondering did you eat my ribs as they seem to have disappeared and I was so looking forward to them.

Abel: Maybe.

Adam: Fucker.

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Niffty, taping a knife to a roomba and and setting it loose: Be free, my child.

Husk, entering the room with a small cut on his ankle: Who the FUCK-

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•18+ Adults Only

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Lute: I accidentally showed weakness earlier today. It was absolutely disgusting, would not recommend it

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Fic Thoughts

Not very long, but an au with sinner Adam and the exorcists becoming lion sinners

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Adam: I don't think I can stay in the same house as the person who ruined my life.

Lucifer: For fuck's sake, I'll buy you more Cocoa Puffs tomorrow.

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Adam: You can say “please” and “thank you” a million times and the children will never repeat it, but you say “ass-faced motherfucker” ONE TIME-

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Lilith, to Lucifer: I love resting my head on your chest when you’re sleeping so I can hear your heart beat softly

Lilith, to Adam: I recorded your snoring so you can hear how fucking loud you are and why I can’t fucking sleep.

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•18+ Adults Only

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

Lute: I take off my blindfold. Before me is a gory tableau of death and destruction, bodies strewn across the landscape. The piñata is unscathed. I am Death, seeker of candy

Adam: Lute what the fuck-

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Adam: Don't go in the ball pit. You'll lose your keys again.

Lucifer: [already in the ball pit] You're not gonna believe this.

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Cherri: I told you I was good to drive.

Angel Dust: Babe, I drove. You sat in the passenger seat and steered with a paper plate.

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Abel: What I’m saying is he made fun of me for getting Capri Suns!! And then he drank eight of my Capri Suns!!! [points to Cain who is smirking while drinking a Capri Sun]

Adam: Abel you're almost twenty and you're arguing over Capri Suns-

Abel: Look Dad, you either ground him or I fight him. So there’s two options and my fists are already up.

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Angel Dust: You know what family means to me? Resentment. Guilt. Anger. Easter egg hunts that turn into knife fights.

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•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

Vox: Shoutout to Val who killed me first in Among Us and had the AUDACITY to report the body and go “so, who killed my husband? >:(”

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Adam: I hate Lucifer. I hate him so much I want to grab his stupid collar and pull him close just to glare at him. Yes that is the reason I want to do that. We are nemeses

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