LET THEM FIGHT.

The Beast and the Boy // inconvenientlylargelizard

The kaiju seemed to chuckle a little as they started to get up onto their feet. Even if Hiro did have a good grip, the enormous lizard was ready to catch the little fellow - at least, in Godzilla’s eyes - if he fell. Safety was always good, and their paws were oddly soft. But paws are like that, yes? The palm of a hand is always squishier and softer than the back, if you’ve ever been bored enough to play with your hands and made notice of such. They stood at normal walking height, likely with his head near the flying kites above San Fransokyo, 150 meters up, right? At least it wasn’t flying with the chance of falling, but it was riding atop a giant reptilian monster with a chance of falling. But at least with the lizard, there was something to catch oneself on.  And there Godzilla went, taking slow careful steps with the teen atop his head, beaming.

“You have?” the kaiju fanatic asked, his eyes growing wide. He tried not to act too enthusiastic about this in front of Godzilla. His hero still thought he was a kaiju! Surely another of his kind wouldn’t be impressed by rescuing a few measly humans. “I mean um…yeah, same here,” Fred finally replied, his excited tone settling down. “Those stupid humans. Never know what they’re getting into when they try to swim! It’s kinda pathetic, am I right?”

They nodded. “THOUGH I CAN SAY I’VE SEEN SOME EXCELLENT SWIMMERS, AND I DO FEEL BAD FOR THOSE WHO’VE LOST LIMBS TO SMALLER KAIJUS IN THE OCEAN. THEY SHOULD LIKELY TAKE MORE TIME TO LEARN ABOUT CREATURES OF THE SEA, BUT I UNDERSTAND THEIR EXCITEMENT FOR SPACE. HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT ONE OF JUPITER’S MOONS? IT HAS SALTWATER OCEANS. EXTRATERRESTRIAL KAIJUS? PROBABLY. MAYBE ONLY EXTRATERRESTRIAL MICROBES, BUT IT’S WORTH A SHOT.”

The Beast and the Boy // inconvenientlylargelizard

The large reptilian creature gave a nod. They could in fact, think. How else would they be creative enough to fight other monsters and win? Most kaijus weren’t smart, sure, but Godzilla was. Enough to perchance speak, but they had a bit of a sore throat from roaring underwater at some ruder kaijus. Normal Godzilla behaviour. They then plopped their head down next to Hiro with a larger grin on their face. Hope Hiro’s got something warm; it’s probably a little cold on the sauropod’s head. They seemed to beckon the student to hop on.

*eats snack while looking for a better snack*

what if you tried to call off of work and you are just like “im sick today” and your boss was like “i know dude you’re one of the sickest bros here” and you were like “no i mean it im ill” and your boss says “yeah you the illest” 

Tony Abbott voted for Hiram McDaniels for Mayor because a reptilian creature with complete disregard for human life in a position of political power reminds Tony of himself.

#and patd makes music 4 kids who r gay

if you threw a pad or tampon into a crowd of boys they would probably all scream and it would be like that scene from monsters inc where george gets contaminated by a sock

Whew! Dodged that bullet! Fred sat down next to the large kaiju’s foot and tried to make himself comfortable, still relieved that he’d managed to avoid a chance of drowning. “Yeah,” he answered, trying to think up a story to fuel his excuse. “One time I saw this one kaiju eat a whole…uh seal, I think, and try to swim right after! Poor guy got a huge butt cramp and just…died. It was tragic.” The mascot gulped, realizing that his story probably wasn’t the most believable one out there.

“REST IN PEACE. WHAT A WAY TO GO.” Had the large creature a hat, they would have put it over their chest. Likely where their heart was, yes. “ALTHOUGH, ON OCCASION I’VE MANAGED TO SAVE HUMANS FROM DROWNING, BUT THEY ASSUME I WAS A FRIENDLY TURTLE SINCE IT’S PROBABLY HARD TO FOCUS WHEN YOU’RE TRYING NOT TO DIE.” 

“I SEE HOW IT IS. CRAMPING ON A SWIM IN THE DEEP OCEAN ISN’T THE BEST EXPERIENCE IF YOU’RE NEW. AND ALSO THAT SMALL. I’VE SEEN IT ALL, SINCE I SPEND A LOT OF TIME IN THE SEA. IT’S ACTUALLY A BIT SAD.” They gave a little bit of a nod. Perhaps chat time would be a better idea than swimming time.

The Beast and the Boy // inconvenientlylargelizard

A visible eyebrow was raised at the little robot as it crawled, and then a clear little bit of a smile and a tiny chuckle as it resided on top of their sizeable snout. Perhaps if they sat there for longer, someone could use their nose as a medium rockwall. But not exactly the perfect kind, because rocks and scales are very different, despite being good defense against a large claw. Sure, some things had made their way through Godzilla’s armor, but they weren’t exactly common. Another smile was on the sauropod’s face upon being called cooler. Remote control, hm? He knew some remotely controlled things, like missiles. Which most of the time were aimed at him or the other monster he’d fight. But they were remotely controlled, although he rarely had time to study them. Mostly, because fighting giant bugs doesn’t leave much time for disassembling warheads.

Breathe underwater? Swim well? Fred gulped, realizing that joining Godzilla might be a bit harder than he’d previously thought. Breathing underwater was humanly impossible (according to his friends at SFIT at least) and he wasn’t the best swimmer, despite having two pools at his house. Sure he knew a bit about it but he doubted that he could swim in an ocean. However, he couldn’t let Godzilla down. And if that mean he had to take a few swimming lessons, he’d just have to bring out the trunks. “Yep!” Fred replied, hoping the large kaiju didn’t realize how nervous he seemed. “Swimming and breathing? Underwater? Piece of cake! Mhmmm! Totally telling the truth here!”

“MMM... FOLLOW ME, THEN.” The kaiju whumped his head down on the ground, as if beckoning for Fred to hop on. (Some lizards do the same sort of thing!)  “LET’S GO FOR A SWIM, EH?” They’d be a little disappointed in finding that Fred didn’t exactly have gills. Or a working tail. Perhaps Hiro could build a similar, but water-resistant suit for Fred? That’d be